Being a Jehovah's Witness - What did it do to your mind?

jambon1

I wasn't raised a JW. I was raised in a non religious household that was very stable & loving.

Through circumstances, I bacame a JW.

During the 10 years that I had the misfortune to practice the religion, my young energetic & happy

mind became negative, worried & depressed.

My negative outlook brought me to the stage of contemplating suicide. I was totally paranoid

& although I was depressed, I didn't have any reason to be other than my major dilema about

whether or not to stay a JW. I actually had an awful lot of things going for me at the time.

My non JW family began to notice how I always looked at life & the future with a negative outlook.

The religion ****ed me up. Something I will never forgive them for. Something I will make sure

doesn't happen to my kids.

How did it effect you?

Jambon, It was doing the very same thing to me. I became very depressed and harbored suicidal thoughts, thinking that was the "Only" way out. Since my departure I have a better outlook on life. I'm not depressed and do not have the thoughts anymore. My drinking has went from totally freakin drunk to just having a couple of beers and enjoy the evening.

I know that from being here for the last year that we are not alone.

I hope you the best!!

Quirky

trebor

It had played a similar number on me. I always kept the focus of this world/system is only temporary, that the “real life” ahead is what matters. Learning new things seems pointless to me as I figured so much would change in the new system and anything I had to know Jehovah would make sure was provided through his organization.

On a more subconscious level I realized it made me hate to read or critical think and reasoning on matters outside of the Watchtower Society’s viewpoint as I wanted to have the one mind/same thought as Jehovah and not be influenced or tricked by the so-called Satan’s wicked system of things.

I lost undoubtedly a complete life path and choices respecting education, work and many other minor details. I lost my job once (6 months after 9/11) and was out of work for a complete year, refusing to work meeting nights or Sundays. After all I had to put “spiritual interests first”. This is in spite of never missing a meeting and was always regular in the ministry. My wife and I acquired a large amount of debt as a result.

Sad enough, regardless of the above, back then I still was a true-blue follower of the organization.

Such blessings for being one of Jehovah’s Witnesses!

Lady Lee

My mother started with the JWs when I was 11. Before that I had already gone through a lot of abuse including sexual abuse and that continued for a year when I was sent into foster care because of the sexula abuse. I went back to my mother when I was 16 and she was now baptized. I was baptized within a year and married the year after that. and through 16 years of marriage my husband (who became an elder) abused me sexually and emotionally.

So weeding out my emotional state regarding the WTS/JWs and the lifelong abuse is difficult. I did become suicidal. And perhaps I would not have gotten so bad if my husband was not abusive.

But mentally I was starving. One of my coping mechanisms to all the abuse was to learn so I had an eager mind. But it was stifled by the dictates of the WTS. I had to be careful what books I brought home. Not cult related books but books that really were above what the WTS would recommend. I really wanted to go to university and help other kids that had been abused. But of course that was out of the question. No need for counselors in the new system.

Eventually I resorted to Harlequin romance novels - mindless formula drivel in every novel. You knew the end just by reading the title. Now that is just sad.

I can tell you I was signed up for college before I even officially left the WTS. I soaked up information and churned out papers by the dozen. I constantly had my nose in a book - a book filled with information that really taught me something or at the least gave me the words to define my experiences.

It was a rich gift to my starving mind - a real feast of every kind of information that helped satisfy my craving for more.

It most certainly not was regurgitated hype that I had listened to or read for the previous 23 years.

shamus100

It re-enforced negative thinking and negative lifestyles. Paranoia, depression, and sheer stupidity on financial and career paths.

Oddly enough, my depression went away when I stopped going to meetings. Weird, huh? Must have been Satan not persecuting me that stopped the depression? (snicker) Constant bombardment of negativity makes you think negatively and become very paranoid of 'worldly people', (aka, crowfood at armageddon).

Drinking? I drink very rarely. Drugs? No, I don't do them. When I was a dubber, I drank very heavily on the weekends. (binge drinking) Everyone did. It was the only way to get through the constant negativity.

quietlyleaving

I became very stupid, self conscious and doubtful of my strengths and ability to form an opnion

villabolo

If you don't have a problem when you join the witnesses they'll give you one. If you do have a problem when you join the witnesses they will make it worse.

tooktheredpill

Guys:

Only when I became "disconnected" was when I realized what happened to my mind...

I was a born-in, a good dub. Really believed everything. Went up the "Corporate ladder": MS @ 19, Elder @ 25. No drugs, no pre-marital sex, a 'good example' in the congregation... etc...

Really Busy all the time in "spiritual matters"... but not happy. Feeling that my efforts were never enough. Having panic attacks since my childhood. Diagnosed with "General Anxiety Disorder" @ 26, after various nervous breakdowns. Hooked on anti-deppresants for many years...

After the horrible shock of finding that "The Truth"(tm) was all a lie... No more guilt! After I stopped going to the meetings, I don't need medication. I only have a Xanax pill in my wallet, as a "lucky charm", in case of emergency.

I'm not DA'd yet, but the Elders are trying to make a "witch-hunt". No evidence, whatsoever...;)

I stopped ("cold turkey") going to the meetings 8 months ago, and I feel happier than ever.

Now I'm trying to be a "normal" human being. Making new "wordly" friends.

And have a new family @ JWN!!!

TTRP

Big Tex

Damn near shot myself because of them. Wasted my 20's in therapy dealing with shit the Witnesses and my loving parents dumped on me. Guilt and shame -- the gifts that keep on giving.