We Don't Want to Know Why You're Leaving

by passwordprotected 42 Replies latest jw friends

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  jgnat

  You know what? Their refusal to listen to your reasons, in my mind, convinces me that deep down they know you are not facing oblivion. The greater horrible truth is that their life choices have been meaningless.

  I've likened a congregation to a group huddled in a sweltering tent on the beach. They reassure each other that they are saved by being in the tent; they are protected from sharks, hurricanes, undertow, and broken glass. Right outside the flap is sun, sand, surf and warmth. They refuse to look. You, of course, are frolicing in the waves. Of course they can't bear to hear you. What does that say about their choices in life?
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  DJK

  This is the type of love, the true face of the so called love practice in this organization!

  Is this what they call "Agape love"? As a teen I knew it was just a load of crap.
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  Emma

  What a great analogy! My family "wanted to know" why but what the were looking for was a confession that I'd committed a terrible sin that I couldn't face up to. Nothing was further from the truth

  "My wife and jumped off the bridge 8 years ago, we landed O.K., the water was deep and we had a soft landing.

  The water was running fast, so we soon lost sight of the bridge and its onlookers.

  KT"

  Me, too!
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  keyser soze

  It's called denial. The moment you tell them your reasons for leaving, and they hear all your criticisms of the organization, you become an apostate to them. They want to cling to their own preconceived ideas of why you might be leaving, instead of hearing a legitimate questioning of their faith. This is how JWs are trained to deal with any dissension.
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  leavingwt

  None of the JW stuff makes any sense, until you educate yourself regarding Mind Control. If anyone reading this hasn't read Steve Hassan's book, Combatting Cult Mind Control, please do so. This is not an apostate book, as it never even mentions JWs. (The author wasn't familiar with JWs when he wrote the book.)

  I have to keep reminding myself of the effects of the Mind Control on my JW relatives. Their behavior/shunning/actions make no sense, unless you add the Mind Control. Armageddon is REAL to them. They think it can start at any moment. They are gripped with fear over doing anything that would jeopardize their relationship with the congregation. They are frightened by their own thoughts, and must revert to indoctrination. Watchtower has conditioned them to reject independent thinking/critical thinking/thinking for themselves.
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  tooktheredpill

  Passwordprotected said: “We were leaving behind friends who were closer to us than our own families were”.

  Nick! Commented: “For about 6 months after I stopped attending meetings, NO ONE ever showed up, although I had been for almost 30 years a very prominent elder in the country where I live!”

  Guys:

  I can relate to this. I used to be an Elder in the congregation too. In order to fade, my wife and I switched to another congregation and disappeared from the meetings (“jumped from the bridge”). Some of our friends left messages in our voicemail, and that was all. Of all the supposed "friends" that we had, only a pair of good friends continued calling us for some months, and NEVER asked why we were not going! The only call from a close Elder “friend”, from the old congo, was a voice message, asking me to return the Elder’s book!!

  (BTW, we are not disfellowshipped or D/A. Nobody knows why we stopped going to the meetings in the old congo, but nobody asked!! And we prefer it stays that way, for the sake of the family! ;)

  When we had some “doubts”, NO ONE from our family tried to ”help” us. Other family members started shunning us (they even disappeared from Facebook!) and have NEVER called us to know what happened.

  My dad tried to “reason” with me after almost A YEAR!! But he used “circular reasoning” all the time… He didn’t want to hear my reasons, or to check printed evidence.

  It’s pathetic. If our “eternal salvation” was at stake, why nobody tried to “save” us?? Where's the Love?

  This is what I notice now: There is no real defense. If you really read and study the bible, you will know more about it than the normal dub. You will notice immediately how we use every individual text out of context. And if you study the history of the Organization, everything will fall as a house of cards.

  The normal R&F member will be defenseless if you really know the details. They are scared to confront the reality. That’s why nobody will really try to help you.

  It’s easier to label you as an “apostate”, and discard you like trash. It doesn’t matter if you were a moral, hard-working caring and trusted JW for years. If you have “doubts”… you are “gangrene”, you are worst that crap, and all the “Christian love” disappear. Even from family members.

  TTRP
• 

  ninja

  jason beghe (the actor)was interviewed on why he left scientology...........there is a part called "jumping off the bridge"....same story....different cult
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  ninja
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  ninja

  can someone help....why do the videos come out in triplicate?
• 

  willyloman

  I can relate to this. In fact, I could have written three or four of the posts on this thread.

  We had exactly the same experience. After nearly 30 years of "all-in" membership, our family of elder/pioneers/pillars walked away.

  No one ever asked why!

  I concur that they don't want to know because it would force them to confront their own doubts.

  One "sister" told my wife that she knew we weren't going to meetings anymore but "I don't want to know anything about it because I don't want to be discouraged." You have to applaud her honesty, despite her appalling inhumanity. A "brother" I've known for 20 years ran into me in a public place, shook hands, smiled, leaned in and whispered: "I don't know what's going on, and I don't want to know, but it's really good to see you."

  Like some of the other posters here, I used to wonder why none of the avowed "shepherds" went searching for the 1-in-100 who strayed from the flock; I mean, isn't that the recommended "scriptural" approach? But now I realize any act of genuine love is totally foreign to JWs, due to their cultic training. They just can't help themselves; fear rules.