Building new friendships (page 2)

oompa

Troubled mind.....i would give my left nut to be you or your husband.........and both if me and the jw wife were both of you........not doing so well here.........sorry..........oompa

troubled mind

Well I have been gone for a few hours and was pleasantly surprised to see all the responses .

I thought with so many new ones joining this would be a helpful topic for many including myself .

Candle you made some very good points ,thank you for the input .

((((Ninja and Oompa ))) I am sorry I wish your circumstances were different . I am so relieved my husband decided to leave when I did .I was just lucky though because he really does still believe alot of the witness beliefs .Which keeps me wondering if he'll someday go back .

I have looked into meetups , but there does not seem to be anything local . I may try going to some in the Chicago area .

Lonestar63 my husband target shoots . He has gone to mainly NFAA shoots . Local club 3-d shoots . He is secretary for the local club called DVA , Davenport (Iowa) Valley Archers . Have you ever gone to Louisville ,KY for the indoor nationals ?

truthsetsonefree

I have made new friends in two places. Work and my school community. I started this process even before leaving. In both cases I have built on my strengths and not had to change myself too much. What I mean is that my co-workers know about the JW's and so I can be open with them. In my school community I've tapped into my volunteer and leadership skills I developed as a JW and an elder. I use both and find that I fit right in. If you'd like, PM me and we can talk either that way or by phone if you would like to hear more of my story.

Isaac

lonestar63

Troubled Mind,

I hope your husband resist's the pull. The first few years are the toughest. He needs to join this forum, and read all the experiences. Has he read Crisis Of Conscience?? If not that would make a great gift from you to him. Since you've just been out a short time, it would probably be good for him to avoid reading material that is extremely critical of the society. That's what i loved about COC. Ray didn't bash, (although he had every right to do so the way he was treated) he just made a stand and told us about it.

I've never shot indoor competition, only 3d. I've been to London Kentucky and shot in the ASA Pro Am. Also shot in your State at the Pro Am in Metropolis. Is your husband a member of Archery Talk? That's the best bow forum on the net. I'm a well known member there. If he too, then pm me in the future and he and i can visit. Right now i don't think i can receive pm's, being a new member.

Lonestar

troubled mind

Lonestar , My husband does post on Archery talk . I'll ask him tonight what his avatar is there and let you know .

I share some things from this forum with him and I bet he has lurked here a few times .

The most impact leaving the witnesses has made on him is that NO ONE has taken the initiative to try and shepard him back . He is seeing that people have judged him without even knowing what he thinks . His own mother and step father have cut us off from communication . I have shared a few points from COC with him ,but when we first faded I asked him how much he wanted to know and at the time he didn't .

Now that some time has past I should bring the books out and see if he would like to read them for himself .

I think Memorial time is the hardest time for him .He works with several witnesses and that is about the only time they come and invite him back to the meetings . So I imagine he is getting invites right now .

troubled mind

truthsetsonefree , I sent you a pm

rebel8

clubs, clubs, clubs (not bars, hobby clubs or social causes)

You are used to structured socialization, not just floating around trying to attach to anyone who happens to be nearby. That's why clubs and work are easier--you're there together to do an activity (less awkwardness), and it's not as uncomfortable to join a club as it is to budge into an established group of friends.

lonestar63

Troubled mind, i'm showing a pm from you, but i can't open it for some reason. New member i guess.

I'm going to open a thread in the members only section, where we can discuss this in private.

What's happening to your husband is exactly what's happened to me in the past.

BlackSwan of Memphis

Hey troubled mind:

Well for me, I have 2 kids. Both of whom are really busy kids. Met a few women from the library and from there I have met a lot of people. Seems like freeing up time is more difficult than filling it.
I'm a girl scout leader, I'm helping out with a local parks committee and am trying to organize some of us local homeschoolers into various activities.

I think the most helpful thing for me was finding ne'er been jw's and building a non-jw related life.
For me that was relatively easy as my spouse was not a jw.

Building new friendships

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