Please help non jw in love with a studying jw

by heather613 40 Replies latest jw friends

  • heather613
    heather613

    I have finally gotten him to understand that we cannot live together and not be married, and I don't want to just be a friend after our past together it would almost be impossible. He has now told me that he has been seeking guidance from elders in kentucky. We are both hoping that his wife has moved on since she and her family have decided not to talk to him. He has told me that he is faced with the tough decision to leave his religion to be a family with me and our son or to choose his religion. He knows now that his marriage in gods eyes is permanent and the only way out is if she has not been true to the marriage but since she will not communicate with him or the rest of her family witch are also jws he can't count on knowing the truth. I told him I will give him some time to think this over and that if he wants to make this right with god that he will have to do some hard soul searching and ask for forgiveness and mean it if he chooses to be a family.

    Thank you so much everyone for your kind words

    Heather

  • ex-nj-jw
    ex-nj-jw

    Ok maybe I read this wrong. But to me it looks like he's not baptized and neither was she so neither of them need the "adultry" charge to get divorced. If you are not baptized in the JW cult the rules don't apply.

    #2 why would you want to be with a looser that my become a looser JW?

    nj

  • heather613
    heather613

    he's going by the bible about the whole adultry thing but honestly we'd been living together for many years without thoughts about the bible now he wanted to become a better person so he's all into it now. I'm not sure what the jw teaches you if you were to leave and you don't go by the bible what will happen to you, and I am by no means sin free. I am hoping that if he chooses our family he will stop hiding things and stop acting like a drone "your information is flaude" "your trying to hurt me" "I'm a better person like this" "thats what the bible says" I swear I repeated myself like over 100 times before I got the message threw to him. I honestly do love him I'm a very forgiving person thats why I've stuck by him through all of this.

  • ex-nj-jw
    ex-nj-jw

    Well, good luck with all that.

    nj

  • Robdar
    Robdar

    Crickey. Not another bimbo "I can't understand why he's screwing me over" thread.

  • keyser soze
    keyser soze

    Wow, I've never agreed with reniaa more. This guy is a loser, not because he's studying with jws, but because he left you with a child. And he does seem to be using the jws as a way of manipulating you. You and the child are better off without him.

  • observador
    observador
    Hell become a nurse (Rn- 2yrs of school and lpn.lvn 1 year of school), marry a doctor and live a life of wealth an ease

    Not so many doctors out there, but here's what you can do: become a nurse, find a male nurse, marry the guy and live a life of middle class american. How 'bout that?

  • yknot
    yknot

    Well if he has already consulted the Elders in Kentucky..... he has already done stuck his head in the pre-heated oven.

    Okay we need some specific information then...

    Was your boyfriend approved for FS while he was a study (ie is he a 'recognized' unbaptized publisher)?

    What are the Kentucky Elders telling your boyfriend so far, what has been their advice to him?

    Has your boyfriend or you read the "Elder Manual"... if not here is a PDF link to download and intensely read.

    http://www.4shared.com/file/62487460/676fa4ef/1991-Pay-Attention-Elders-Manual_with_NOTES.html?dirPwdVerified=d6acb320

  • mouthy
    mouthy

    I am reading all this & cant believe a gal would put up with a man who would leave his baby & lover ?

    This man definitly sounds like a liar,he sounds like a user.

    If your a loving Mother, you will dedicate your life now to your baby,Please dont allow the religous teachings

    of the WT to influence your or the little ones life. After reading all these suggestions ,I do hope you REALLY

    do get away from this man. Get to a court & sue him for support.

    It does sound a bit twisted though.Because if he is not baptised,& his wife is not baptised ,the religion

    would only be PUSHING them to get baptised.

  • heather613
    heather613

    ok I finally got through to him the elders in Kentucky told him that the decision is up to him and that he is not baptised or pioneering just studying they could only give him spiratual guidance. I sent him a link to this forum I think he now fully understands what I was telling him he thought he was changing for the good had no idea about the rest of the rules, he wanted to go by the bible now, but we have talked and by doing so he has decieded to leave the jw studying and we are talking about choosing a religion that our whole family can go to. He is still getting a divorce and we are planning on getting married soon after. I will definately keep in touch, snf I want to think all the posters on here you've all been a huge help/

    Heather

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