Silliest thing that Witnesses told you was wrong? (page 7)

In_between_days

I know this thread is old, but I just HAD to respond to it, it's one of the things that cracked me up when I was first lurking (very embarrasing)

When I showed my hubby, he thought it was a joke, but I told him all of the replys are true. The look on his face and the "WHAT THE 88@! ARE YOU SERIOUS?!" made my face go a darker shade of red.

My own responses:

_ My flatmate was really concerned about some cds I had so I put them outside so she would'nt be scared, she said it may be too late now, coz the demons could have gone out of the cd's and into something else and now we might never get rid of them!!

_ I dont know if anyone else got this, but I was totally BANNED from watching the Simpsons in my house, other witnesses were discouraged too.

_ Once when I got angry at my mother and was yelling, she asked me if satan was talking through me. ("Like im going to go: Yeah, as a matter of fact he is, wanna say hello?!")

_ We were'nt allowed to listen to "Hotel California" by The Eagles, as apparently if you listened to the words properly it was about a haunted hotel.

_ My sister wasnt allowed to have a heart sculpture filled with champagne at her wedding as it could look like it was blood pouring out of the heart and stumble others.

_ My sisters and bros always had to have a chaperone with them and their bfreinds/gfreinds even if it was a 5 minute car trip.

_ We had an elder say from the platform at an assembely that it was very worldly to watch Dawsons Creek as it promoted immorality (out of all the t.v shows to ban, they picked lame Dawsons Creek?!)

_ That if I went to any other JW internet sites (anti) I would be exposed to copious amounts of pornography and virus' would be immediately downloaded onto my computer that I may never get rid of.
(this was also announced at an assembely)

_ That my shirt (over the top of my swimmers) when I get baptised has to be totally plain, preferably white with no emblems or pictures. (can anybody tell me WHY this was always the case?

I could go on and on....

thewiz

Thinking too much.

"You're too smart. It's going to get you into trouble."

That to think that 1975 wasn't going to bring the end was apostasy.

Going to College is wrong.

That masturbation clogs up your arteries or something; ultimately affecting your health. See a ?1959? WT Question to readers. I did find the 1959 reference from a WT in the ?1970s?

In_between_days

The Wiz,

Are you serious that to think the world was'nt going to end in 1975 was apostasy?

Could you get DF for it?

JW's always tell me that it was never PREDICTED only SUGGESTED and no one HAD to accept it.

lastcall

Funny, I remember the smurf story too. My litle bro had one hanging over his crib. I pleaded with my step mom to remove it after I had heard this story from my mom. I swear I saw that things head do a 360 :). The fear factor starts very early when you are raised JW. Ever listen to the Bible Story tapes? Jehovah is Scarrry! Demon stories of possesed dolls from garage sales abound in the car groups in service . Anything out of the ordinary and a little scarry is ascribed to the demons. I personally was terrified of them. Yeah demons AND smurfs. I'm am still in utter disbelief that I was a part of this sad story.

RR

My favorite response is, "we never said that, you got the wrong information." Then I go on my shelf and pull out the actual book and show them. They never come back a second time. :)

seedy3

WHEW.........panting with exhaustion........ that was a long thread, I got a kick out of just about every one of the posts he he he he.

Now let me see if I can reach back far enough and pull up a few.

When growing up in Southern California, in the mid 60's I remember we were ot allowed to eat a McD's cause there was blood added to the hamburger. My mom told me a brother took the meat to a lab and had it tested (I'm sure this was hear-say), So I never had a big mac until I was about 16.

Also do any of you remember the song that had the lyrics in it "somebody's knocking" I don't remember who sung it but it was a woman, but her voice was very masculine. So at one public talk the elder was using this song about how it was promoting homoseuality, becasue of the line "...Devil in blue jeans.......". I was really puzzeled and after the meeting I went up to brother K*** and asked him if he had any idea who sang that song, he said no, I said well it was a woman not a man, he just shrugged his shoulders and walked away.

I got a kick out of the idea that they had about heart transplants. I remember at one district assembly, they talked about how part of the brain was actually attached to the heart, so if you get a transplant from a criminal you will take on that persons personality, or if a man got a womans heart, he would become very feminine.

My wife (now ex) was telling me about this quija board she had when she was studying with the Jduds and how she was told she had to destroy it, as it was demonic. She said she took a saw to it and it would not cut it, she tried to burn it and it would not burn, so she worked on it for a few hours with the saw and got a small cut in it then her and her sister put it between 2 bricks and jumped up and down on it till it cracked. (I never asked her if the way was sharp)

I had a friend of mine (JW) who parents would always make him play his music for them before he got permission to listen to it. It was always funny to have them try to interpet the songs. LMAO he told me he couldn't listen to Chicago, becasue 25 or 6 to 2 was a song about sex and fornication, hmmmmmmm.

Jehobah is providing fine protction for us that he has commanded that we not have blood transfusions. Think of all the lives this fine protection has saved from diesies in transfused blood. (Now lets go hop in our car and drive to McD's for a blood burger.)

Although it didn't get started with the Duds, but I remember the Procter and Gamble thing was taken very seriously by many.

Richard Nixon said in a speach to the nation ".....and we now have peace and security........" WOOOOO that was in like early '74, what a rise that got, "the end most certanly is near."

Ok nuff for now, I'll think of a few again later he he he, what idiots these Duds are at times.

Seedy

neyank

How about, anyone that is not a JW is bad asociation.

neyank

Matty

I’m glad someone woke this thread up – it’s given me a laugh! My dad still won't let us watch Randall and Hopkirk deceased! Both the one from the 60's and even the recent one with the brilliant Reeves & Mortimer.

One that I’m quite happy about though – you won’t see gnomes in JWs gardens – they are supposed to be little devils or something!

Nemesis

Two incidents come to mind with a stupid old fart of an elder who was stuck in the past. One time when someone said “oh heck” as they forgot some of their talk, and nobody cared or noticed, a bit like dropping a piece of paper and picking it up. But after he had finished his talk, at the end of the meeting he was approached by the self-righteous old elder, and told that it was a disgrace that he said “heck” on the platform as he was evoking the name of an Egyptian frog deity, called Hek, or Heket or something very similar and was akin to practising spiritualism in Jehovah’s house!

The same old fool embarrassed a brother in front of half the hall when he cornered him before the meeting. The brother in question worked for an electrical installations company and didn’t finish work until just before the meeting, so some times he would come to the meeting in his work clothes rather than miss the meeting. He was reasonably smart in a subtle uniform. But the old bigot elder cornered him and said he could never come to the hall in his work clothes again, why? Because on his necktie, there was a microscopic logo of his company, you needed a magnifying glass to see it, and then you would not know what it was unless you asked. But the elder thought this was “clearly bringing worldly commercialism and trading into the house of Jehovah”, so that necktie never appeared again!

He also used to do the same with sisters who had handbags or clothes with logos on them. They would get a serious telling off for having a Gucci, Prada, Louis vuitton, or whatever bag/clothes, even the smallest logo was classed by him as “bringing world commercialism into Jehovah’s house” and was scorned upon heavily. He would also spit feathers if anyone wanted or even spoke about transplants (this was back in the early nineties long after 1980 when they re-allowed them) I remeber him saying they were sick and wicked. Also this elder’s wife ended up in a mental home, I’m sure it was because of being married to this stupid old bigot.

Bona Dea

Also do any of you remember the song that had the lyrics in it "somebody's knocking" I don't remember who sung it but it was a woman, but her voice was very masculine. So at one public talk the elder was using this song about how it was promoting homoseuality, becasue of the line "...Devil in blue jeans.......". I was really puzzeled and after the meeting I went up to brother K*** and asked him if he had any idea who sang that song, he said no, I said well it was a woman not a man, he just shrugged his shoulders and walked away.

I remember that song. The woman who sang that was Terri Gibb(s)- can't remember gibb or gibbs? Anyhow, I met her about 15 years ago...she sang at our church (in my church going days)...and had totally revised that "somebody's knocking" song to be a christian song. Your story is so hilarious!! This woman was so nice and to think she was accused of being a man!!! I'd hate to hear what he thought about Carly Simon or Carole King...they sound kinda masculine too.

"Half the world is composed of idiots, the other half of people clever enough to take indecent advantage of them."
-Walter Kerr

Silliest thing that Witnesses told you was wrong?

Share this