I wish I was Stronger

by apocryphal22 36 Replies latest jw friends

  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    That's just what they want you to think.

    It is NEVER too late to live "happily ever after."

    ...and there isn't any Paradise or resurrection waiting for you on the other side of Death's Door, so get that silly idea out of your mind.

    One way to get stronger is to carry TWO book bags in service. Work those quads, feel the burn!

  • apocryphal22
    apocryphal22

    Nathan Natas,

    WTF are you talking about? I am on this forum. I have been rejected by everyone that has been in my life for the past 39 years. And all you have to say is "feel the burn". Well I havent used any swear words for 30+ years of my life. But I think I have earned the right to tell you to go yourself.

  • StAnn
    StAnn

    Apocraphyl, I think Nathan was making a joke re: feel the burn. Since you're not likely to be going door to door carrying one bookbag, let alone two.

    Do you have a spouse? Do you have children? Are you only 39 years old? BTW, where are you located? You may be near some of us.

    You were and are our sister. We love you, no questions asked, because you are a human being and part of the human family. You are now part of the ex-JW family and we are growing every day. You don't have to earn our caring and concern by posting a certain amount or saying the right things. You're here, reaching out to us, and we're more than happy to take your hand.

    You're not alone. Not anymore.

    You have a PM.

    StAnn

  • apocryphal22
    apocryphal22

    StAnn,

    Your probably right. I tried to edit my comment for Nathan. I'm sorry Nathan. I guess I feel alone, but I am alone.

    I am an Apostate. But my family would never allow that to happen. Its not an option.

    I pray for Jehovah to take me in my sleep.

  • jamiebowers
    jamiebowers
    StAnn,
    Your probably right. I tried to edit my comment for Nathan. I'm sorry Nathan. I guess I feel alone, but I am alone.
    I am an Apostate. But my family would never allow that to happen. Its not an option.
    I pray for Jehovah to take me in my sleep.

    Are you still in? Whether you're in or out, you're not alone. Please give some detail or pm someone you trust with the whole story.

  • oompa
    oompa

    aprocryphal22.......slow down.....take a deep breath.......long walk.......yoga classes........post at least 3987 times here.........and THEN you can either feel this way......or be healed for the most part........i do know how you feel.....but i am fourth generation....and bred a fith dammit.......and my life is a mess.....but one way or another it WILL get better.....but it is not easy.....please hang in there for a bit...........oompa

  • Mrs. Fiorini
    Mrs. Fiorini

    aprocryphal22,

    I know it's hard now. And there will be more hard times in the future too. But you, out of all your family members, have been the first to "wake up." Cult expert Steven Hassan says that all cult members, deep down, want out. You have opened the door for yourself and also for your family. They may or may not walk through it eventually, but either way, you have. While it's difficult, you can celebrate the fact that you have done it. If you still have a belief in God, pray for them that they are able to follow your example and get out too. If any of them wish to, it will be easier for them because you paved the way.

    In the mean time, a whole new life awaits you outside the WT. It's yours to explore. Over time, you will make new friends, find new opportunities for growth, and build a new life for yourself. I don't know how far along in your journey you are, but I speak from experience when I say that it does get better over time.

    I have lost many members of my family too, since leaving, but I still don't regret doing it. It is one of the smartest things I have ever done. Congratulate yourself for having the courage to see your way out. Many never do and spend their entire lives in the darkness of that organization.

    Best wishes and good luck to you.

    PS - If you're still in your thirties, you're doing pretty good. You still have a large part of your life left and time to do something with it. What would you have done if none of your family had been JWs and you were raised in a normal life? Now you can do it! (I'm in my forties and I just graduated from college. Boy did that feel good!)

  • Mattieu
    Mattieu

    aprocryphal22,

    Hang in there, life & circumstances will get better, you have to believe that. Whilst my fadeout had brought about some dark feelings, you will reach a time when they are just a distant memory and the load on your shoulders will be eased.

    This site was fantastic in helping me go through that period even though I was just a lurker. Take all the comments above as being genuine and from people who have really been through the same emotional roller coaster and more importantly never lose your sense of humour!

  • OUTLAW
    OUTLAW

    ........Just be gratefull you don`t own my cat..The dam thing is nuts!!..................... LOL!!...OUTLAW

  • sweet pea
    sweet pea

    You will be, in time, but there are no shortcuts. You have a supportive audience here though and people who feel your pain and really care. There are people out there who will help you start again - it's never too late. Be kind to yourself and reach out.

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