Manipulation as its worst

by unbeliever 12 Replies latest jw friends

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  ziddina

  (HaH! I've got some posts available now!! )

  I agree with oompa re: "but he should create space and watch...... not stable to me....or believable........oompa"

  She doesn't sound stable enough to be capable of raising a child properly...

  I also agree with Tired of the Hypocrisy: "He should demand a pregnancy test before anything else happens..."

  How does he know she's actually pregnant?? Plus, he should demand a paternity test if she actually is.....

  I also agree with leavingwt: "It sounds to me as if marrying her would be a huge mistake." Yup, yup, yup! Don't even marry her for the kid's sake!!!

  I also agree with marjoe: "don't forget the adoption option."

  With regards to Rebel8's comment, if your brother's aim is to obtain custody of the child after it is born (assuming the pregnancy test comes back positive and the paternity test shows that it is his) - or if he is extremely kindhearted and wants to take care of someone else's baby - which I gather is not the case..... he should begin documenting her unstable behavior right now. Does he have the finances and electronics knowledge to obtain a good recording device???

  He seriously needs to consult a lawyer - right now!!!

  Best of luck and a positive outcome!!! Ziddina
• 

  Heaven

  UN-B ... How your brother handles this situation is going to shape the rest of his life! It is imperative that he handle it the right way. He needs to take a leadership role here (time to grow up). The anger and hatred he feels need to be processed so that he can channel them into something positive. Maybe suggest he seek some counselling on how to deal with these emotions. His gf should do the same.

  These 2 need a 3rd alternative that is workable for both of them. I don't agree with his gf trying to manipulate him into marriage as this will only cause it to fail, ultimately. Abortion will only scar the 2 of them for life. What happened to their 'love'?

  His idea about marrying his gf until after the child is born and then divorcing her is the same manipulation that the gf is trying on him, so he becomes the manipulator. How is that good?

  So... a 3rd alternative could be....

  Marry his gf with a pre-nuptual agreement that outlines exactly what is expected in the marriage and parenting of the child. Maybe check to see if there are any precedences on this. The child will have 'a name' (if that's at issue here) and protects all parties involved, including each parent.

  I hope they can come to an agreement. Some specialized counselling would be an excellent idea. They'll need their lawyers.
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  tenyearsafter

  Do you know for a fact that she is pregnant? The reason I ask is, that when I was single two women attempted to use the "I am pregnant" line to get me to marry them. Of course, neither was aware that I had a vasectomy several years prior to that. When I informed them of that, they got at angry at me for not disclosing that to them!!...sheesh!

  Anyway, I would ask for proof that there is a pregnancy and then move forward with whatever plan of action he decides from there. If he does decide to marry her, he might want to wait until the baby is born and have a paternity test to make sure it is his. Some states have very unusual laws regarding child support and can actually make a man pay for support even if it is later found that the child is not his.