Did you get married or stay single BECAUSE you were a Jehovah's witness?
Did You're Being A Witness Influence You Regarding Marriage or Being Single?
by minimus 21 Replies latest jw friends
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blondie
Actually, because of my abusive father and my not being sure I wouldn't choose an abusive husband, I chose to stay single, until I met my hubbie, Irreverent. He was not a jw but he made me feel safe so I "disobeyed" and married him. Almost 20 years now.
Blondie
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minimus
And the bonus was he even made Elder!
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yourmomma
kind of, this kind of applies i guess. I was engaged to a girl when I was in my early 20's, and she called off the engagement because I was not "spiritual" enough. And mind you, I was a pioneer, being used like crazy by the brothers in my hall. The elders in my hall took long to appoint people, and she had a huge problem with the fact that I was not an MS. I explained this to her, and it fell on deaf ears. Most of it was influence from her parents. She was pretty bitchy in general, so when she called it off I was relieved, I wanted to break up but I didnt want to hurt her, because when it comes to women I am a certified punk ass bitch. So when she called it off, I walked out of her house and started smiling, which really made me realize how disfunctional the relationship was and pressure to get married from others is what got me in that situation to begin with. She was really crazy, after we broke up I had a bunch of money saved, and so I always wanted to do DJ Battles, so I went out and dropped a grand on DJ equipment. On the way out of the store with the equipment I ran into her friend, I said hi, and went on my way. A couple days later I had to call my ex cause she failed to take care of canceling the reception hall, and she was pissed at me cause her friend told her she saw me with the eqipment. I just laughed, what an F'd up bitch. She was crazy. The whole break up was a blessing because we would not have lasted a year, I would have ended up leaving her cause she was impossible to deal with. Also, being with her showed me exactly what I did not want in a wife, this helped me find my soul mate. Thats another funny story, I had this friend for years in the congregation, and there were times we dated off and on, but I didnt think of her seriously at that point because she was not "spiritual" enough. When I decided I did not care about that, we dated and ended up getting married a couple years later, and its like story book marrige. Glad I didnt marry the first girl, that would have been bad.
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Quirky1
Yes, I got married "only" because I was a JW.
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sspo
????????????
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Ilovebirthdays
Hmm, good question. I know it influenced me in the way that I had 4 broken engagements before I finally married DH. I didn't get married until my mid-20's, which, as you all know made me an old maid in Witness terms. I was horribly unhappy, and looking to get out from under my family's iron rule, and would be flattered with the attention from a Witness boy, and get excited about the big emotional high from getting engaged, and pretty much turn around the next day and be physically sick from the realization that not only did I not love the person, I probably didn't even like him much, and certainly didn't respect him, and knew I'd just be trading one bad situation for another if I married them.
I guess it was quite the emotional rollercoaster at the time, but I really feel quite fortunate in the fact that by the time I got married, I'd finally gotten enough courage to leave, hence marrying a non-Witness, and not having to deal with the enormous problems of leaving and still having a spouse and/or children still in "the Truth". I have immense respect and empathy reading the stories from people on here in that situation, and can't imagine having to deal with that. I know I would not have been strong enough to deal with that also. Plus, I got the added bonus of having a wonderful, loving, caring husband who has helped me through a lot.
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Finally-Free
I got married, but being a JW influenced our decision to not have kids. As a result I'll probably die alone and rot in the living room for a month before someone finally decides to check up on me. I worry about Rocco starving to death when that happens. Sure, he could eat me but a high fat diet is not good for birds.
W
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minimus
JWs HAVE to marry at an earlier age or risk sinning.
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minimus
In the 1940s, it was very rare for JWs to marry per Rutherford's personal view.
After that era, JWs regularly married and did so young, many times. My best friend who was in his 20s (early) dated a 15 year old PO's daughter and they married when she was 16! And he confided to me when he was drunk on his bachelor's party that they fooled around and were guilty. To this day, he suffers from major mental issues (which I believe he had at a young age).