by minimus 21 Replies latest jw friends
I think being a JW influences young people to get married at too early an age.
They put such a stigma on pre-marital sex or any kind of fooling around that JW kids feel the urge to get married just to get laid.
I'm not advocating pre-marital sex but I think it's better to be realistic about it instead of demonizing it and forcing bad decisions by people who aren't mature enough to make those decisions.
Yes, I agree, Undercover. Premarital sex is better.
Great posts guys!!! As for me I always wanted to get married, but never wanted an MS or an Elder. Unfortunately/fortunately, no one was truly compatible with me. And yes, I was approaching old maid status. I married "out of the Lord" and with his support had the courage to leave my former life behind. They probably think I was dragged out of "the truth" against my will. If only they knew...
JWs HAVE to marry at an earlier age or risk sinning.
Minimus, I would agree. It was overly strict in my congo growing up as a teenager, I could not even talk to a sister at the k/hall without Elders wanting to know what the conversation was about and copping a lecture of being "passed the bloom of youth"! I met my future wife who also pioneering, before the elders "approved us" as being able to get to know one another better, we had to make a commitment that we were getting to know one another better with a view to marriage.
This put undue pressure on us and yes though we got married and are still happily married, we both look back and know we would do things differently and never be but under that ridiculous pressure nor put up with these so called mature men and their unscriptural personal views.
Side point - out of that whole body of elders who strictly enforced the w/t laws and their own Pharisaic views, not one of them is still serving, they are all still dubs but not elders as they couldn’t even meet their own standards….
Sorry for ranting, that whole period of my life still gets me annoyed (not at my gorgeous wife, but at the whole society/elder actions of the late 80’s early 90’s), Mattieu.
Witless or not, I never had that option. Rather, I resent the witlesses for exploiting the situation after promising to rectify it, so they could have me in the Value Destroyer Training School to make everyone in the world become Jehovah's Witlesses (and start the Second Dark Ages).
Got married (too young) 'cause
I thought it was the only way
to get laid without guilt...............
Dumb Ass!!!
Lasted 18 months......................
Lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng Story
I think being a JW puts a lot of pressure on whether one will get married or not. For guys and girls it can go either way depending on their spiritual goals. Average JW guys look forward to marriage because its the only way they can have sex and not get in trouble. The zealous JW guys though do not even think about marriage because they know if they married to young that they will miss out on spiritual oppurtunities like bethel and MTS. They're are a few spiritual girls that wait to get married because somehow they think there is more they can do before they get married, which there really isn't, not in this Org anyway or they spend their entire youth looking for the perfect bro: spiritual, handsome and not crazy, of coarse these are rare and when you do meet them what are the odds he'll want to get married. So these sisters grow up and get old and lonely because by now they aren't as attractive and all the available men aren't siritual enough. Then the not so spiritual sisters get married just to escape their elder father's tyrannical rule but sometimes just get into another one.
Moral of the story... your messed up either way...
I was definitely uninterested in marriage all through my twenties because of the whole 'end is nigh' thing constantly stoked by the Society, and I took the interest of many lovely young worldly women completely for granted.
Of course being a JW influenced marriage.
I think that it influenced many in ways that they may not realize, though.
When I was a young JW (many many many years ago), there were a few gals that were non-JW that showed interest (even if _I_ was too dense to notice it), but because I was a JW, I would not even consider dating them - much less marrying them. All part of that JW-mindset.
I will also add that there were a few of those gals that were really cute.
Regards,
Jim TX
Definitely. Since freely engaging in premarital sex wasn't an option, most of us wanted to get married. I don't know if I would have gotten married when I did if we didn't have the pressures to remain chaste. That being said, we just celebrated our 27th anniversary and I'm grateful to be his wife today. However, I must admit that from time to time I wonder about the experiences I missed along the way.
