could somebody post about the pain of one in and one out marriage??

by oompa 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • oompa
    oompa

    geeze it has been awhile......

    and robert7 and wife newlite are sooooo dammm lucky......nice fam and friends too.....thanks for the awesome party guys.........oompa

  • AllTimeJeff
    AllTimeJeff

    “People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.” - Jim Morrison

  • oompa
    oompa

    jeff........you carried a radio??.......oompa

  • abbydear
    abbydear

    Pain???? Post about the pain??? Okay, it's painful.

    If you are the one in you are in constant grief and anxiety about your mates spiritual demise. Meaning that you know that they are DOOMED to eternal destruction and you will not be able to live forever with them in the paradise. You, of course will have to find someone else in paradise, but for now you don't think about that. You are TRAPPED (in love or not) in a commitment to a person who has turned their back on Jehovah. With every breath you take you want to bring them back. You might be the only one who could do this, you feel the burden of blood guilt. Day after day.

    If you are the one out you slip in and out of real life. If the marriage is tied to family and friends still in, then you skirt around relationships on some superficial level just to try to keep peace. Your trueness and depth you try to hide from them all. If you get good at this, you start feeling hollow. When you get a chance to actually be yourself around someone it messes with your head. You try to find meaning in whatever neutral zones there are in the marriage, ignoring the elephant to the best of your ability. The marriage bed can become a binder, something to try to keep things intact; like trying to hang a picture with duck tape, just put a little more on that corner and it will stay up.

    Painful, yes. Crazy, yes. Hard, definitely. Worth it? For some.

    abby

  • oompa
    oompa

    omg!!...abbydear........you know and feel WAY too much for a newbie.......but WELCOME!!!!......you have been a lurker awhile me thinks.......oompa

    and ya...my head (both) has been messed up a bunch by those more free than me...........

    the elephant or gorilla is for real.. i am just not good at ignoring it.....my wife is.........

    and sex can be a real fixer when other parts of marriage is bad.....oompa

  • AllTimeJeff
    AllTimeJeff

    Jim Morrison had the virtue of being profound. Whether that was chemically enhanced, I can't speak to....

    I love music.... The good writers can be profound poets of sorts.....

  • oompa
    oompa

    sorry jeff......i did not notice that was an entire quote from morrison.........oompa

  • dinah
    dinah

    ATJ, Jim Morrison was a genuis.

    Oomps, you are stuck between a rock and a hard place. I don't envy you at all.

  • oompa
    oompa

    thanks dinah....i just got tired of posting about it......so invited others......it is so hard (for me).....i just cant explain it......oompa

  • dinah
    dinah

    You don't have to explain, Oomps, I totally understand it. But you still need to live your life.........like I said....I don't envy you at all. It's like you have a JW Millstone around your neck.

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