What I'm wondering is why in the world would the df'd daughter allow her mother to babysit in the first place. If Grandma needs the elders to tell her how to treat her own daughter, then she doesn't have good sense enough to care for a child. What is that child going to think as he or she is growing up and watching Grandma ignore Mommy or communicate with her through Grandpa? What if, heaven forbid, poor old Grandpa dies? Will the df'd daughter have to play a game of charades with Grandma before work every morning? How disgusting!
JW grandma, unbelieving grandpa and DF'd daughter - babysitting rules
by Bonnie_Clyde 36 Replies latest jw friends
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Mrs. Fiorini
how is it i can still be stunned and amazed by anything b0rg???
I'm with Chickpea. I know they're nuts, but still!!
There's no doubt in my mind that the best thing I ever did for myself was to get out of there!
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avishai
Grandma don't talk to daughter. Grandma don't get to see or touch grandbaby. Nuff said.
Amen. I'm serious, bad example for grandbaby. Just let grandpa see grandbaby. Grandma can sit and spin.
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TheSilence
I agree that if possible the grandma should not be seeing the grandbaby... but we don't know the situation. If this is a single mother who has to work and can't afford a babysitter and has no one else who will sit for her... we just don't know the situation enough to make that call.
Jackie
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strawberry cake
If only it was so straight forwards...
children often have a very special relationship with their grandparents. If the grandchild doesn't see grandma then there is a loss to the child and to the daughter who may want to share her child's love with her own mother.
Of course the distructive Organisation strikes again!
Causing pain to all concerned!
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hamsterbait
NEVER EVER leave your child alone with a JW.
They will see it as an OPPORTUNITY to fill the child's head with Armageddon poison. I shan't be surprised to hear later that this kid is crying at night because her Mother is going toget killed by God.
HB
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Pistoff
The damage the WT does with DF'ing policy is unnecessary and causes lasting damage to families.
I have one son who is df'd for 12 years now; he is married, productive member of the community, father to a beautiful son. No behavior that any witness, no matter how strict, would frown at. He is just not interested in being reinstated. My in laws shun him, although their deadbeat son is just fine for them to hang around with, in spite of the fact that he has NEVER once taken care of his own children. My mother in law has sisters and brothers who hate her, try to undermine her beliefs; she has no problem hanging with them and seeks their approval. But to drive across town once or two a year to see her great grand child if my son is also there? NOT going to happen.
What is baffling is that the WT does not FORBID seeing one's blood; there is plenty of bluff and bluster, and "it might be possible to have almost no contact with such ones". They don't want rank and file seeing df'd family, because they know that it is very unsettling to see how happy most are to be out of the "truth".
I wish I knew what to do. I want to shun my inlaws, but I don't believe in it. Still, nothing changes the way it is.
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carla
Why would anyone leave their child with a jw? any jw? I don't care if it is grandma! If grandma was a card carrying Nazi would you leave the child with her then? I read all these posts of how damaging the wt has been to all of you be it physical, emotional, sexual, spiritual, mental, etc..... and wonder how you could leave your precious innocent child with them? I see the lingering effects the wt has upon many ex jw's in even simple things in life and wonder how you could you possibly expose your child to that now that you know what it does to ones very being?
If grandma wants to see the child then let it be in your home in your presence. Protect your kids from this dangerous and deadly cult.
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Bonnie_Clyde
"I agree that if possible the grandma should not be seeing the grandbaby... but we don't know the situation. If this is a single mother who has to work and can't afford a babysitter and has no one else who will sit for her... we just don't know the situation enough to make that call."
The DF'd daughter has been married at least five years, but she "hasn't taken steps to get reinstated" (and doesn't want to). Grandma's heart strings are being broken on this one. But it's her own fault. She even asked the circuit overseer a few weeks ago about how to handle things when her husband brought the DF'd children to the house. He said just be discreet. Wow! But Grandma has a habit of talking too much, and she let it out to one of her friends, who informed the elder's wife, who went to her husband. The elders also found out that the daughter and her df'd husband met grandma and grandpa for dinner while they were on vacation. I was hoping that these events might wake grandma up. But yesterday she pulled out the "Keep Yourselves in God's Love" book and asked grandpa to read the part about how to Treat (mistreat) disfellowshipped relatives not living at home.
Oh my...I wonder where this marriage is heading.