This is going to sound somewhat crazy. Having faded completely around two years ago I found myself with new found freedom and if was fun. I developed new friendships and hobbies and did some stuff that was frowned upon by those in the truth™. I look back and feel that even after years some of me can still switch into preaching mode and such like. Recently I've had some bad experiences with "worldly people" whom I considered my friends, they turned on me when I needed help and this has left me reevaluating life. I met an elder friend of mine from a different congregation today and he said some stuff that was pretty insightful and showed some true understanding. I've been left wondering what do I really belief? Should I go back on some level or am I naieve in thinking any good can come from it. There are some in the organisation that I do care about and even after years of not being there I still fell comfortable around them. I'm left thinking some of the reasons I left were doctrinal in nature but in some ways I could handle that; it was various elders and others within the congregation that frankly made me feel like an outcast in the congregation in the kingdom hall i was instrumental in constructing. Is it that I am single and miss certain sisters that I really liked that is in some ways driving me back having being rejected by "worldly girls" on so many levels, I dunno. I really am unsure what to do and any advice on how to evaluate my options would be beneficial.
Going Back
by rathfear 29 Replies latest jw experiences
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rathfear
This is going to sound somewhat crazy. Having faded completely around two years ago I found myself with new found freedom and if was fun. I developed new friendships and hobbies and did some stuff that was frowned upon by those in the truth™. I look back and feel that even after years some of me can still switch into preaching mode and such like.
Recently I've had some bad experiences with "worldly people" whom I considered my friends, they turned on me when I needed help and this has left me reevaluating life. I met an elder friend of mine from a different congregation today and he said some stuff that was pretty insightful and showed some true understanding. I've been left wondering what do I really belief?
Should I go back on some level or am I naieve in thinking any good can come from it. There are some in the organisation that I do care about and even after years of not being there I still fell comfortable around them. I'm left thinking some of the reasons I left were doctrinal in nature but in some ways I could handle that; it was various elders and others within the congregation that frankly made me feel like an outcast in the congregation in the kingdom hall i was instrumental in constructing.
Is it that I am single and miss certain sisters that I really liked that is in some ways driving me back having being rejected by "worldly girls" on so many levels, I dunno. I really am unsure what to do and any advice on how to evaluate my options would be beneficial.
paragraphs!!!
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Chalam
Hi,
People are people, good and bad. I don't think you will find that people are any better as JWs than "worldly people" or the other way round. On the surface, the JWs I know are pretty nice, have a nice community vibe going on and such but inwardly are they any different?
So why did you leave in the first place? You say there were doctrinal issues? Obviously you found some of the huge doctrinal flaws which point to the religion not being the truth? If you believe there is a God and His word is the bible, then why don't you investigate that for yourself, rather than going back to try an paper over the huge cracks in the WT? My advise is to read a bible and see what you find for yourself. Anything but the NWT is good. Focus on Jesus, who is He? After all, He is THE way, THE truth and THE life, not the WT.
Here's a great place to start Book of John :)
All the best,
Stephen
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rebel8
Reflecting this back to you. Do I have it right?
You believe you will have more friends in the borg than out.
You believe the borg friends will disappoint you less than the non-borg friends.
You believe these sisters will return your affections even though you're damaged goods.
You believe these sisters' possible affection offers you a greater opportunity for a satisfying relationship than the other 99% of the world's population does.
You believe you can ignore the doctrinal errors and lies in order to achieve a better social life.
You believe associating with a different congregation, with different elders, will mean they will not treat you with mean spirits and unfairly, even after the "honeymoon period" when their lovebombing wears off.
Just thought a short reflection might help you sort things out.
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rathfear
I guess rebel8 has made some good points, when I was in, i tried to fit in and was not accepted. Sat through meetings and some of the stuff from the platform made me sick. I remeber the exact date I last attended a meeting even years later, but i remember alot of things like that anyway. Do I want to believe in some of the good things like the "new system" and such, yes I do. But I don't really believe this 1914 and the moving goalpost lark.
Some brothers have asked over the past while, when are you coming back whereas others are alot more human acknowledging that I have issues and its not black and white.
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Anti-Christ
The best thing I can tell you is try and deprogram yourself completely, well as much as you can, I don,t know you but in the little bit that you wrote I detected maybe a little bit of JW reasoning , it's not easy I still have some "triggers" in me. I went back once, it was a good thing because it definitely resolved the doubts I had, now there is no way in hell that I am going back. Do what you must do.
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HintOfLime
I'd suggest rather than be swayed by emotion or propaganda from either side, go do the research. Find out WHY you can or can't trust the bible, find out WHY a religion teaches something, and then research the scriptures they use to back up their claim to determine if that was the actual intent of that scripture.
If you want to know what to believe - to have no doubts about what it is you believe or why you believe it - do thorough independent research across all the topics you consider critical, comparing the watchtower teachings to other belief systems, and the reasons behind all those teachings on all sides.
If you keep asking other people what to believe or do with your life, you'll be living a collage of ideas from everyone else's lives, and have no life of your own to reflect back upon.
And now for my own propoganda:
Religion Virus Infect weakened individuals - individuals that are hurt, fearful, depressed, without hope, or lacking in purpose. Infect weakened cells - Cells that are damaged, or otherwise vulnerable to invasion. Influence the individual - Change the individual's behavior by a set of rules, and prepare them to obey the central authority without question. Influence the cell - seize control of the DNA. Reproduce - Instruct individuals to propagate the religion by actively seeking to spread it to other people. Reproduce - Use the cell's replication mechanisms to reproduce more viruses to infect additional cells. If you don't want to taken advantage by religion OR other people... start looking for answers instead of just asking questions. If you suspect something isn't right, act on it before it's too late.
- Lime
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Joe Grundy
I have never been a JW.
May I respectfully suggest that your issues are less about religion and perhaps more to do with own level of self-confidence and self-esteem? That you believe you may feel more comfortable within the organisation because its a place you know, even though you're not really happy with it?
Others here who know than I do may suggest to you that this may not be an uncommon feeling, especially in view of your unsatisfactory experiences with some 'worldly' people. And they may suggest that if you return you will come to regret it.
Good luck.
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diamondiiz
You know that WTS teaches lies about their dates and if you go back you know you will have to be fake and keep your knowledge to yourself otherwise your friends there most likely will end up just like the friends you had on the outside. People are people and few your can trust your life with and most you can't and that is everywhere whether within the WTS or outside of it.
Within WTS confines you will be viewed as part of the group as long as you follow their line of thinking including 1914 and all the other dates that they teach are truth which you obviously must know they are not, will they accept you if you disagree with them and can you have an honost conversation with someone about everything involved with the BS dates?? Can you honostly say that Christ returned in 1914 and not feel your conscience bothering you? Can you honestly say that FDS was appointed in 1919 and honor men that you know decieve men through their dates and other doctrines that don't align with the bible? You think you will have greater spiritual freedom within the WTS congregations?
It's one think when one leaves WTS to have a good time and to be free to do whatever one pleases but it's another thing when one leaves knowing that WTS doesn't teach all the truth that they claim they do and I would assume that GB knows very well that their dates are all bunch of lies. How can someone knowing facts about WTS want to go back to only find a mate? Or find a girlfriend? You think going back in to find a mate will make you happier in a long run even if you were to marry within? You know sooner or later your knowledge of WTS will come out and it may break your relationship with a girl or a wife - depanding on their alliegence to WTS!
Most important be honost to yourself why you want to go back in, because if you're doing it for wrong reasons you'll end up leaving again.
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Heaven
I'm left thinking some of the reasons I left were doctrinal in nature but in some ways I could handle that
You have just compromised your principles! Which says you are now entering into a Lose-Win relationship with the WTS where you Lose and they Win. You are willing to let the WTS lie to you so that you can have their fellowship.
I think you're taking the path of least resistance. I think you're avoiding defining your life for YOU! I believe you will be a much greater 'witness' outside of the WTS, than inside.
BEFORE Going Back you need to evaluate what you want out of life, and the principles you wish to base yourself upon. The above quote says you have not adopted proper principles and that you are willing to let the WTS lie to you so that you can have their fellowship.
One more reason I believe a Mentorship program is vital for people such as yourself, rathfear. Please, please think about this before acting. We are here for you. Heaven