Going Back

by rathfear 29 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  Satanus

  You sound like a young guy who is socially challenged, who is just learning about girls, who made some bad choices in friends. You sound like you are finding that things aren't working for you, so you wanna give up and go back to what you know, even though you know that it is wrong.

  Life IS hard, when you are young and findimg your way. I don't really know or want to point you in any direction. I think that, if you stop and look at what you really know inside, that you will find your own way. Books can sometimes help, if you can condense your questions and find a reputable book that deals on that.

  S
• 

  parakeet

  I've been left wondering what do I really belief? Should I go back on some level or am I naieve in thinking any good can come from it.

  Yes, you're being naive in thinking that braindead dubs have all the answers to life.

  There are some in the organisation that I do care about and even after years of not being there I still fell comfortable around them.

  Being comfortable with dubs is like climbing into a giant anaconda's cage to "make friends" with it.

  I'm left thinking some of the reasons I left were doctrinal in nature but in some ways I could handle that; it was various elders and others within the congregation that frankly made me feel like an outcast in the congregation in the kingdom hall i was instrumental in constructing.

  How does one "handle doctrine" if you don't believe it? You don't like the elders -- thank goodness some part of your brain is still functioning.

  Recently I've had some bad experiences with "worldly people" whom I considered my friends, they turned on me when I needed help and this has left me reevaluating life.

  Welcome to the real world. It doesn't always tickle. Scurrying back to your KH to lick your wounds is like an ex-con who wants to go back to prison because he got a bad meal at a restaurant. The point being -- When you're a free agent in control of your destiny, you can find different and better friends than before. Consider it a learning experience. If you were to leave the dubs again, ALL of them will reject you as an apostate.

  To review: Keep your dearly purchased freedom and believe what you like, or go back to being a braindead dub. Good luck.
• 

  jamiebowers

  Part of growing up is realizing a few things:

  1. People treat you how you let them in the real world.
  2. It's okay not to have all of the answers.
  3. You are never going to get along with everyone all of the time.

  Before you go back to the kh, why not take a stab at therapy? Learn about yourself and what you really want out of life. Once you learn to value yourself, others will as well.
• 

  jwfacts

  The Watchtower does not teach truth. Until you have thoroughly exhausted that concept you will not be able to move on. If you still have any thoughts that it may be true you need to do more research and clear that up once on for all.

  "I've been left wondering what do I really belief?" - You may never know what to believe. But I know the Watchtower does not teach truth so have not the slightest inkling to ever go back. You should not force yourself to believe something simply because that is what you want to believe. Some people want to be told what to believe, others are content not to know.

  You could go back for friends, but how long will you be able to sit through the negative, bigotry that spews forth from the platform? But once you really move on from the Watchtower control you will find there are many wonderful people that are not JWs and you will be able to form true friendships.
• 

  SPAZnik

  Follow your heart kidneys.
• 

  SPAZnik

  It may feel crazy, but it doesn't sound crazy. It sounds perfectly natural. All I can suggest is taking your time.
• 

  WTWizard

  The witlesses appear to be nice people, until you disagree with one of their major doctrines or believe you are being unfairly treated within the congregation. At least most worldly people are upfront about being grumpy.

  It is true that there are evil people in the world. You get mean spirited parents in every religion, along with people that are so pious that they pick fights because they don't want to acknowledge the other's side or that the Bible might just possibly be wrong. Scam artists exist in every denomination as well, and there are going to be people that protect pedophiles that initiate force or coercion to rape children. Laziness and dishonesty are everywhere.

  But, you will find those traits in the witless religion, too. Most of them are so pious that, if someone disagrees with their Filthful and Disgraceful Slavebugger, they will happily shun you and break off any "friendship". A high percentage of them are unduly strict with children. Dishonesty and envy are rampant in most congregations, and it is not the sort of dishonesty about taking on more than one really can, either. And they systematically protect pedophiles and silence the victims by their policy.
• 

  AK - Jeff

  I would suggest a slow approach to this.

  Jehovah's Witnesses as people are nice folks. Mostly. Non Jehovah's Witnesses as people are nice folks.

  You seem to miss the social connection. But be honest about this: Being/associating with Jehovah's Witnesses is not about socializing. It is about believing their version of 'truth'. There is no room inside the organization [at least not long term] for those who question anything they teach/expect. Eventually, an honest minded person is going to admit to certain doubts/questions/disbelief in some areas. After all, that is what people do when the socialize - talk/share ideas and opinions.

  So if you are seeking social goals only - how much satisfaction could there be on any deep level with the people whom you would associate?

  I don't know how much of the doctrine you still swallow. But most could not look around this forum for very long and feel that the Jw's still have the 'Truth'. Yet being a Jw is all about being in the 'Truth'.

  The long range problem is this: You must play the game forever, or risk being DF'd for not playing along. Your relationships would all be surface, and false in nature. You could not be yourself. You could not ever engage in deep thinking or conversation that is contrary to the Jwism thinking. All relationships are temporal in the JW mindset. You dare to ever cross the line that is drawn in the sand - and that is with your mate, your friends, included - you will be ostracized at minimum. Discarded as evil at the worst.

  Then you find yourself right back where you are now.

  Bottom line to me is this: You cannot put the lack back on Pandora's box.

  I wish you well as you struggle with these issues. Many here [including me] have went through the same mental processes. Prisoners who are left out of jail often wish to return for the comfort/insititutional care/three squares that come with that territory. Still, is a prison the best place to spend your life - rather than making the adjustments to the outside world, though at times seemingly overwhelming?

  Not for me at least.

  Jeff
• 

  OnTheWayOut

  The organization has tons of good people in it. You need to learn about the doctrines. They say "it's the truth." It's easy to see how it is not.
  As far as it being loaded with good people, true but they only accept you if you swallow (or pretend to swallow) the doctrine. How is that real friendship and relationships?

  Religions and charities are loaded with good people. If you want to build houses for the poor or make sure that children have eyeglasses, there is a charity out there that needs your help. The people in those charities are no better or no worse than JW's. They will stab you in the back no more and no less than JW's will.
  
  Don't go back because you think JW's are "there for you." They are not. The friends you develop elsewhere, like I said, are no better or worse. But they won't abandon you because of your beliefs. They won't abandon you if you don't turn in a slip of paper every month. I am not going to say that there is a fairytale ending outside of the WTS, but there ain't one inside the WTS, either.
• 

  Satanus

  "I've been left wondering what do I really belief?"

  Why do you need to decide right away what you believe or don't believe? Why not give it some time? W the wt, for instance, you can go back in their litterature and study their track record of their beliefs and predictions. How have their beliefs changed from russels time, through rutherford, knorr and franz periods? How have russels predictions fared, rutherford's predictio, and those of fred franz? Once you know the wt history, it's pretty easy to see their present beliefs for what they are.

  S