Hi i'm back..again!

Cordelia

Hi everyone i haven't been on here for a year! i've just been looking at some of the topics i started god i was mixed up..

since getting reinstated i left and went back twice even had a bible study again at one piont! all for my family, i love them so much they do so muxh for me and love me but show quite clearly how brokenhearted they are that im not at the meetings that makes me feel bad so i go back... after a little while thats not good enough they want me to go with the right heart condition and 'do it properly!'

so i finally stopped for good last december, and i'm putting myself first for once and not bringing my little girl up in it (she's 7 now)

but just last night it all blew up went for tea at my familys my brother was there (a servant,married baby on the way) and he was arranging a day at his house and said i couldnt come as i wasnt at the meetings, i said think what jesus would do he said he is doing!! we argued i said the religon is wrong with the shunning thing look at david, prodigal son etc etc.. my mum cried coz i was 'apostate' and i left the house

this still happens every few weeks why cant they see that i have tried but its not for me and just be my family!!

i just feel so guilty all the time, how do you guys deal with it?

anyone else feel this way?

ex-nj-jw

Hey Cordelia,

As long as they can manipulate you into coming back they will. You have to set your boundaries and stick to them, but you also have to be ready to accept what may come along with that.

For me it was a no brainer. If they couldn't accept me for me then I didn't want to be bothered. I don't have the time or energy to be manipulated by religious fanatics, I chose the door.

Good luck to you but remember as long as you give them hope that you will one day be apart of their organization they will continue to pressure you.

nj

snowbird

What Ex said.

My almost-20-year-old daughter, my sister, her son are active, zealous JW's.

I don't plan on going back - ever.

DO NOT allow them to play the guilt card on you.

Sylvia

sammielee24

this still happens every few weeks why cant they see that i have tried but its not for me and just be my family!!

Only you can make the decision to stop allowing yourself and by association, your daughter to be continual victims of abuse. Only you at some point can stand away and realize that unless you conform to their beliefs, that you will never be free to grow and become stronger. It's not up to them because they aren't capable nor do they want to - it comes down to your reaction to their action. sammieswife.

mouthy

You have to chose ! The love of being with your family

Or the FREEDOM to THINK as God gave you.
I myself has lost my daughter & grand-child
my heart aches to cuddle them,but they have NOTHING
to do with me.

In MY mind!!!!! That is NOT love...

God bless what ever you decide.

The Berean

Pick your poison ...

It seems unfair yet so many times in life we must choose the lesser of two evils based on our personal needs. Which pluses outweigh which minuses? Many times religious love is conditional and it comes down to whether one can live without that support syystem or not ... that is why so many seem to "waffle" in and out of the organization. My personal view is that there is good and bad in either choice. I hope you can endure.

jamiebowers

Your little girl is a sponge, and she's soaking up every experience that you've had with your brainwashed, dysfunctional family. Please, for both of your sakes, find a healthy support system outside of the jws to learn about unconditional love. It's painful to be shunned by your family, but as you already know, it's impossible to be something you aren't. Coming to this site will help you get a good start.

Cordelia

thanks guys

i knew it was agood idea coming back on here,

you are right about my little girl i told my family she will grow up hating it as thats all we arge about my mum just said well when shes older hopefuly she'll know it was you that put us in this position! great init?

then my dad rang this morn to check if i was ok and made me feel bad all over again as he was so nice!

anyway i have made the decision i want nothing to do with it just wish it was easier x

quietlyleaving

I'm so sorry you are going through this. We are in the a similar situation and its horrible, absolutely horrible. I hope your family wake up soon.

jamiebowers

Love your user name, btw...Anyway...

you are right about my little girl i told my family she will grow up hating it as thats all we arge about my mum just said well when shes older hopefuly she'll know it was you that put us in this position! great init?

Don't let them turn the tables on you. Just keep repeating to your family, "I'm willing to accept you the way you are, and I expect the same in return."

Hi i'm back..again!

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