Former Witness Friend Tries to " Encourage " Me Back to Meetings

by flipper 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • flipper
    flipper

    O.K. So it seemed simple enough. I had heard about this former witness friend of mine ( late 1980's to early 1990's ) having gone through a divorce from his pioneer wife 2 years ago. Long story short- He had been an elder , wife had the JC elders wrapped around her finger - finally the evidence came out she committed adultery and she was DFed. My friend stepped down as an elder ( he claimed it showed humility ) and he went to another congregation so he wouldn't be bitter at his fellow elders for their inept JC handling of the wife. Then my friend reached out lately and became a ministerial servant again ! ( ARRRGH! )

    So I was given his number from the janitorial supplier we both buy from. I called just as a friend concerned about how he was doing post-divorce. I had not talked to this guy but once in 12 years or so- so I didn't know WHAT his views were now. We had been somewhat close years before - and he knew my witness ex-wife from years ago also.

    So he returned my call yesterday. Right off he said what congregation he was attending now - so I knew immediately where this conversation would lead ! He told me the story of his ex-wife and the DFing and how he overcame being bitter at the elders by switching congregations . He said if he had not done that - he might have fallen away from Jehovah.

    I explained to him that I had stopped going to meetings almost 6 years ago due to unjust treatment by elders trying to get me to accept back my drug abusing non-witness wife who had left me - but would put my witness daughters in danger if I took her back. Told him how the elders told me to go meet with my teenage daughters at a neutral park and not have them in my home if it made druggie wife uncomfortable. I told him it greatly offended me and made me realize they weren't giving me Jehovah's counsel at all ! My friend said, " Well Mr. Flipper you just have to realize the elders are imperfect and they might not give the best counsel sometimes ! " I replied, " But with lives at stake and families at stake they are supposed to give Biblical counsel - not their own opinions ! " He made some excuse saying his situation was worse than mine and I should move on and forget it - not hold a grudge .

    Then I stated that after not attending meetings for years I had other differences with how the WT society handled the 16 child abuse lawsuits that occured in California a couple years ago. Then - Before I could get one word out to prove my point , he interrupted and said, " Anything you read or heard was wrong. " I said, " How do you know ? I haven't even told you what I heard ? ! " He replied, " The news media twists things because they are out to put Jehovah's Witnesses down. Any bad things they find they emphasize it if witnesses are involved. " I said back to him, " If you notice the news - many DIFFERENT religions are mentioned as having child abuse problems , tons of media coverage on the Catholics multi million $$$$ lawsuits 2 years ago , and a Baptist Sunday school teacher just got convicted here in California. " I asked, " Don't you think you are having a bit of a " persecution complex " on behalf of the witnesses ? " Then he sidestepped it exclaiming how JW's handle child abuse better than any other religions. ( I spit up in my mouth at that point. ) He told me how when he was an elder they told a pedophile not to talk to the young ones in their congregation and they restricted the pedophile's privileges . ( Big wow. ) I explained that was the exception rather than the rule - that many were told not to report child abuse to the police at the threat of being DFed . He just went to another excuse.

    I told him we have witness friends who send us the " witness only " WT's. I questioned him on what he thought of the new June 15th WT saying not to judge the new ones partaking and that the GB claims ONLY THEY make the rules - that they don't get feedback from anointed around the globe. He said that the " GB is taking more firm control of the organization now and that it's alright that more are partaking because we don't know how many anointed were in the 1st century ! " ( This guy had an excuse for everything. )

    I mentioned that it's been 95 years since 1914 and that I read in the Watchtower a year ago that there is no longer any DEFINITE time of what can be viewed as a " generation " - it could go on and on. I read to him the definition in the dictionary of " generation " stating it's about " 30 years from when we are born until we have children ". He said, " Well - there are many different views. We go by the faithful slave's view. "

    Then he mentioned his inactive sister ( aged 65 ) who had not been to meetings in years. He said, " She is not a righteous, clean person. She had breast implants, tummy tuck, and wears mini-skirts ! " I stated I thought his sister was nice when I met her years ago. Then I mentioned I get along well with my inactive son but my 2 witness daughters shun me even though I'm just inactive. He then admitted , " Well, Mr. Flipper before I called you I called your witness ex-wife to see if it was alright to talk to you to see if you were DFed or not . If you had been DFed I would have chewed you out for calling me ! " ( A little annoyed but knowing he's mind controlled ) I said, " Well- Now you know I'm not DFed , don't you ? " He told me , " Your ex-wife said your daughters love you but the reason they won't associate with you is they feel " awkward " associating with you because you don't go to meetings. " I said, " Well - I disagree with that position. My love for them is unconditional . They know I'd be there for them in a minute if they needed me. My current wife and I send them anniversarry cards and monetary gifts in spite of the shunning. "

    So then he said he had to go, and I thanked him for his concern and told him I'm really happy in my life and fulfilled and that I was just wondering how he had been doing ! I said, " Stay in touch ". But I really won't bother to keep in touch with him - he's too far gone at the moment in the mind control. And - If he was in contact with my witness ex-wife I know anything I would say to him would go straight to the ex, and then straight to my daughters as well ! And that would NOT be helpful in reaching out to my daughters ! So as always I look forward to your takes, observations and opinions about this odd mind controlled drone I talked with. Peace out to all, Mr. Flipper

  • Scarred for life
    Scarred for life

    Flipper:

    I think it's impossible to have a relationship with people that are even halfway entrenched in the JWs. Their beliefs and their meetings and their never-ending judments of others is all they can talk about. I know it's that way with my extended family. There are so many subjects that you can't bring up or have a normal conversation about. It's just exhausting. It's not worth it. Life's too short.

  • flipper
    flipper

    SCARRED FOR LIFE- I agree. I wasn't looking at really having a friendship or relationship with the guy- just wanted to let him know I was concerned as I had heard he went through a divorce. Very true that it's just too hard to have relationships with them as they are so ridiculously judgmental. I hear you. It is exhausting and life is too short. One reason I won't be keeping in touch with this guy

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    Great post.

    " Anything you read or heard was wrong. "
    The news media twists things because they are out to put Jehovah's Witnesses down.
    Well - there are many different views. We go by the faithful slave's view.

    Total defense mode. If only those that do this could see themselves.

  • oompa
    oompa

    anyone who says faithfulslave.........ya....one word for me......run for your life............oompa

  • flipper
    flipper

    OTWO- Yes exactly. He was in total defense mode even though ironically enough I really wasn't as agressive as I could have been in dissing his cult beliefs. But JW's are so paranoid it's like they are walking around with this giant chip on their shoulder just daring us to knock it ff and challenge their beliefs. In talking to witnesses I'm getting to the point when dealing with ultra mind controlled ones- I'd rather avoid them. They waste our time.

    OOMPA- Yes for sure - faithful slave ? Not- more like mind controlling slave ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • WTWizard
    WTWizard

    I would just as soon have as little to do with Jehovah's Witlesses as possible. All they are going to do is hound you to return to the boasting sessions, make you feel bad for having regular fun things (like real music, real videos, a computer, a nice [material item], and try to get you back out in field circus again. Which is not what you want to be doing.

  • boyzone
    boyzone

    The typical drone. So entrenched in defending the WT at all costs, he's got no idea what he's saying. He's not ready.

  • mouthy
    mouthy

    Talk about Robots!!! Cant you just image a key in their back
    they go to the kingdom hall get wound up!!! & VOILA!!!
    They are "IN Action"
    Been there done that. For get him Flipper... Good try!!!!

  • Amha·’aret
    Amha·’aret

    So sad and yet so familiar. ...

    Different JW but same excuses so the conversation almost always goes the same direction.

    At least you tried Flipper!

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