I had similar experiences off and on after I became inactive. When you recount the inconsistancies in teachings and the abuse you've suffered, it's all explained away with pat answers they get from the magazines.
I had one sister read to me Peter's words to Christ. "Who shall we go away to, you have the sayings of everlasting life." and I said, "Yes, I agree that' Christ has the sayings of everlasting life." and she looked DISAPPOINTED! They're constantly searching for Witness speak from you to ascertain that you're still under the influence of WTS teachings.
I was sort of laughing on the inside because I knew what I what she was wanting me to say, having been indoctrinated for long enough, of course, but I would say something that answered the questions correctly, but not in Watchtower/Witness speak.
It's not that I'm even sure I believe the Bible anymore, or at least, not the JW version. I actually am trying to decide if I want any sort of religious belief in my life at all at this point, but I admit to a fascination with spirituality and faith. I want to understand why some people like me seem to need it in their lives. And I'm wondering just how much spirituality has to do with religion at all. Not a lot, I think.
But, back to the encunter she finally got noticibly aggravated, even angry and told me she wasn't coming back! At last! That was a couple of years ago. I'm proud to say that this is the first year that I wasn't guilted into attending the Memorial, sitting there trying not to roll my eyes. I used to do it mainly for my parents as that's the only meeting they attend too, being elderly and living far from the KH.
Most of the meetings were so mind numbingly boring! Drilling on the same old crap over and over. And then every once in a while, there's this big excitement over "new light" and it's just a flip flop or a rehash or an explaning away of why they''ve been wrong about something for 99 years and now it's different, but it's all great because as long as it's from the GB, it's from God himself and it's evidence that it's His organization. Bleh.
If the WTS or the GB had just said once in a magazine or a letter "We're human beings, we get things wrong and we're still trying to understand these things, just like you are." then maybe I could have stomached it. But it seems the more they screw up, the more infallible they claim to be.