my brother said i cant ever meet his baby (page 2)

loosie

You brother doesn't realize that you are a big girl and know how to handle yourself on the internet? He must be a control freak.

mkr32208

I've never seen my neice she lives less than 20 miles away and is 3 years old... Never even seen her!

I take comfort in the simple fact that when she's older she's not going to stay a witness and I'll see her then! lol...

Scully

The only times I have ever seen my JW sibling's children is when my nursing expertise was needed. After that is was wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am, and don't-let-the-door-hit-you-in-the-ass-on-the-way-out.

After being used like that it made me realize that my JW sibling is no longer really my sibling, but a parasite who puts self-interest above any blood ties that may exist between us. We've been used and abused by JW relatives enough already.

There's a saying about the lottery: You can't win if you don't play. But in relationships with JW relatives, it's become painfully clear to me that, "winning" has two mutually exclusive definitions, depending on who you talk to. IMO, "winning" would be the ability to live my life the way I see acceptable, without sacrificing association with relatives. My relatives, on the other hand, consider "winning" to be having me sacrifice my personal truth and values in order to come in line with theirs (which is, of course, whatever the WTS tells them it is at any given moment).

To me, the lesser "sacrifice" is to lose my JW family members in order to remain true to myself. I sacrificed myself in JW-land for almost 30 years, and it took me another 10 to figure myself out after that. NEVER AGAIN.

passwordprotected

Firstly, it's your brother's right to decide who gets to see his son and there's nothing that can be said or done to change that.

Secondly, point out you're being forced to worship God in a way that's unacceptable to you, i.e. by being forced to cease contact with people who are no longer JWs and cease using an internet social network. Point out that no one should be forced to choose between their family and their beliefs. Then plop the July 2009 Awake! onto his lap.

boyzone

LOL! Password - good advice!!

BonaFide

Cordelia, it depends whether you want to tell him the truth about the Organization or not. If you pretend to be a Witness like I do, you have to be very careful about who sees you on the Internet.

But if you don't care about that, then go ahead and tell your famiily.

But be prepared to be shunned.

BF

Pubsinger

Facebook or your family? I know which I'd choose.

Sure they don't have the right but they're not gonna change.
You have to decide which you'd rather sacrifice.

At some later date you could set up a new Facebook profile.
Don't put your photo on your profile, set the privacy settings so no one can see your friends and don't add your family to your account LOL

Pub

Cordelia

thanks u r all right

im going my dads later my brother has told him and my mum about my pics and the ex jw groups i really dont know what to do obviosly id choose my brother over face book but my piont is if i get rid of some pics and dont go on ex sites (god help me if they knew i was on this one!) then whats his prob i cant understand i may as well still be dfed

spoke to my dad he says i cn set up my account again when im stronger todeal with things....

but got to face my mum later who has actually been really good but will be upset at the sites i jioned

the counselling idea is good but u know fulln well what jw would go to a 'worldly councillor' no way i feel like saying to my brother fine then u have no contact with my daughter his only neice unless he gets off freinds reunited i dont see the difference if i delete the 'bad stuff!' but dont know if i have in me to fight anymore you can never win with a brainwashed family!!

Johnnytwofeet

Your brother is right to force you to abandon facebook. Everyone knows that myspace is where its at

AlexHall

Im guessing you are a fullgrown woman that live in your own apartment and have your own life? Your decisions are yours to make. Your brother is trying to control you. He probably belives he´s doing this out of love to you and God.

Tell him that shunning you wont change your ways or they way your are thinking. You have your own relationship with God, that has nothing to do with with your brother.

Tell him you love him, but you have to live your life, not being controlled by his whims.

I know this most be so hard, and the easy way out of this is doing what he wants. But in the long run you haven´t solwed anything. Soon he will find more things that annoy him, and you´ll lose part of who you are everytime you give something up. I don´t really understand why he wants you to delete you fb account, he should be more worried about your connection to the ex-jw groups.

I wonder why he don´t ask you what you belive in and try to teach you the "truth" or atleast open up for a disscution about your belifes. Its like curing a headache with pill that only hides the sympthoms.

I hope everything will work out for you. Take care

my brother said i cant ever meet his baby

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