Friends, Study Partners, and then GONE... (page 4)

independent_tre

Welcome!

I will echo what many others have said already,...in that you probably weren't progressing. But I'd like to add that JW's are made to feel incredibly guilty and sinful if they develop a close relationship with a 'wordly' person. Your study conductor ( that's JW lingo) probably did genuinely like you as a person and if religion weren't involved, you sound like you may have had a really good friendship. But 1 Corinthians 15:33 is rammed down the throats of JW's making them feel afraid of being around anyone who is not a JW. JW's are not supposed to associate with 'worldly' workmates, schoolmates, neighbors, relatives, or any JWs considered 'weak' in the truth. Not very Christ-like at all.

I'm sorry for your pain, but definitely considered yourself lucky that you didn't get dunked. (baptized)

Take care

gubberningbody

Man I can feel the love in this thread. All I have to say is that Apostates are good people...Gullible, yes! But then again, that's why many became JW's to begin with. I was just one for the chicks and the congregation keggers.

marketman

First off, there's something screwy with my log in -- marketman or ptucker -- I'm the same person that started this thread earlier... not sure what the screw up is...

Regardless, let me answer a couple things... I'm not a woman... I'm a guy, happily married, 2 kids, pretty normal for the most part... Cradle Catholic that met this guy at work... we became friends and were friends for about 6 months before we started talking about religion... but we talked about just about everything else... I don't think it was superficial which is why the whole thing pisses me off...

We talked about me and my family, him and his family... we gave each other advice. We ran road races, we went hiking, we worked out at the gym, we talked about baseball, hockey, video games, and a bunch of other crap... it wasn't just about religion... that's why it's so freaky to all of a sudden get a "don't have time for you" message...

Makes no sense, unless, as many of the posters have said... the JW conditioning in him won out...

wavvy

OMG...I am so squirming in my seat when I read this stuff...

To think that I treated people this way once! I can think of bible students I had that I did that to...

It really is horrible isn't it?

Since leaving myself, I have noticed how any contact with a Witness really does seem to have an agenda. Amazing how old friends come out of the woodwork around Memorial time...don't seem to care about you the rest of the year. But I did all that myself once! OUCH!

steve2

I'm not sure if your being a dick or not. Questions lead to more questions,

My comments about your questions were genuine, Lurk3r: You raised excellent questions that broadened the discussion. You asked what have your questions got to do with me? I simply took it as a given that when pTuck started the thread, he was seeking to generate discussion about a relevant topic - one that most of us can directly identify with from personal epxerience.

Yes, it has led to some guess work on my part about the nature of the relationship and pTuck is perfectly free to clarify or correct my comments. I am very open to him saying, "No, you've missed the point" or "Yes, you've got it". Whatever transpires, I agree with you: He has been hurt by how things have turned out and has turned to this forum to express himself and generate discussion on a topic that most of us have experienced.

ziddina

PTucker aka Marketman, you wrote: "First off, there's something screwy with my log in -- marketman or ptucker -- I'm the same person that started this thread earlier... not sure what the screw up is..."

BTW, some members have had problems logging back in if their system has built up a backlog of 'cookies' or temporary files - try clearing all those out, and re-logging in as your original 'handle', PTucker.

If you pick/click on any member's name, you will come to a screen that will allow you to PM - "personal message" them. If my advice above about clearing out cookies and temporary files doesn't work, perhaps one of them could help you get back to your original "logon" - that is, unless you've forgotten your password... I think there's an option for that in the Login screen?? - yes, just checked that. If you've forgotten your password, there is an option lower-left-hand just below the password field...

VERY Important! There's a glitch when receiving and reading your PM's that you MUST know about- to check whether you have any PMs, just click on the 'envelope' icon on the upper right-hand side of the screen after you've logged in. WHEN YOU DO THIS! You will come to your 'inbox'. When you click on an individual PM, however, the first message you will get is: Sorry, an error occurred while processing your request.

Don't Panic! [Are you a Douglas Adams fan??] Simply go 'back' - 'back' button - one screen to your inbox again, and click on the same PM again.

NOW you will be able to read it.

Hope this helps! Zid

mindmelda

How truly sad. I'm a "lapsed" Witness and have had the same experience of a Witness who really pours on the love to get you back into the fold and then when you don't respond or even if you do, the love in stops or eases up.

Even if you'd responded to this intense attention, the minute he thought you were "in" he'd had gone on to someone else.

I've seen this happen over and over again in my 36 year association with Witnesses. Bible studies are conducted, the teacher and student get very close, and then it's time to move on to another Bible study and love them into the religion too.

The student either progresses or the friendship is withheld, or if they do progress, they're given over to the congregation and told to "widen out" and get their love from all the others and get involved in "kingdom activity" namely the work of converting others, that will fill the void. In some congregations there's enough social activity and friendly individuals to take over, but in some congregations, the person often suffers from severe love withdrawals at this point and drops out...it's just not there any more for them. If it happens after baptism, they eventually either fade away, or get disfellowshipped for some behavior the WTS disapproves of.

The Witnesses who do this are totally unaware that they're acting in a cultish manner. It's been used by everyone from Jim Jones to Charles Manson to the Moonies to get people into the cult, the LOVE BOMB.

It especially works on the lonely, the depressed and the frustrated, but it works on nearly everyone who gives them any response, period, at least, for a while. Witnesses are told to look for those who are "sighing and groaning" (taken from a misapplied Bible verse) and that is who "needs the truth".

Friends, Study Partners, and then GONE...