Now... How do I stop thinking about this...

by marketman 10 Replies latest jw friends

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  marketman

  OK... this is marketman (a.k.a ptucker) and you have all been very helpful in your previous postings. Now, maybe someone can give me some advice on how to stop thinking about JW doctrines, Jehovah, and everything else associated with this situation.

  I wake up thinking about it... I go to sleep thinking about it... I thought this was it... I thought this was the spiritual direction I needed even though I am questioning every aspect of it now. Yesterday I went to a Bible service at another church and I enjoyed it a lot but I kept thinking "what if this is wrong... what if Jehovah is the answer..." I need to stop thinking about it... can anyone provide insight on how some of you mustered through. I know that many of you were probably hit a lot harder than me given that I have studied for over a year but never entered the baptismal state... but still, maybe you have some helpful ideas for me...

  Thoughts?
• 

  Witness 007

  Maybe there is no "right and wrong"......what do you feel comfortable with.....hard to "de-programe" yourself isnt it?
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  homeschool

  It's kinda like quitting smoking. You have to just realize that it is something unhealthy that simply does not fit into your life for the sake of your health and happiness (TRUE happiness, not "satans happiness"). Have you read Steven Hassan's Book called Combatting Mind Control? It doesnt make mention of the Witnesses but speaks about what a cult is. It makes you realize that the jw's are NOT one of a kind and, in fact, there are SOOoooo many other religions very similar to it. Kinda makes you feel less alone. Plus you should keep coming back to jwn! Best wishes.
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  leavingwt

  I remember the early stages of Thinking for Myself.

  I also would wake up in the middle of the night and just be overwhelmed with anxiety/ideas/concerns/What If's and the like.

  This stage lasted less than six weeks for me.

  Slowly, but surely, you can make the adjustment to EX cult member. But...you'll always be an EX cult member. Focus on the positive things that you've learned from the experience and get busy living the rest of your REAL life.
• 

  StAnn

  Counseling, counseling, counseling.

  Years and years after leaving the JWs, I wanted to know what "mainline" Christian churches taught for the simple purpose of seeing the same scriptures in a different light, kind of deprogramming. A good book to help you see the fallacy in the JW teachings and to see a different perspective is Answering Jehovah's Witnesses by Jason Evert. It's a short book and he lays out why certain teachings are illogical.

  I think for awhile we probably all obsessed over it. After all, it was you entire life for a long time.

  Peace, my friend.

  St. Ann
• 

  Scarred for life

  It took me about 3 years to rid myself completely of some of the JW garbage that was in my head. But I wasn't thinking about it all the time. I was so ready to get out and live a normal life. I just wanted to do and experience everything that I hadn't been allowed to do.

  But I agree with some of the posters above. Keep reading and posting on JWN. And get busy living the rest of your REAL life. Didn't you say that you were married? Get back in tune with your wife and family.
• 

  mindmelda

  I have the same problem, if it's any consolation. The Witness programming went on for most of my life over 30 years. I figure it's inevitable it will try to re-surface for quite a while.

  Intellectually, I know their basic doctrine is unsupportable, but I find myself replaying it when I'm not really being attentive to my thoughts, or I start to meditate/pray when I'm upset and lots of "jehovahbabble" comes out and I'm like, "Ew, where is THAT coming from?"

  It's okay to address "Jehovah", unless it has too many connotations to JW weirdness. Witnesses don't own the name "Jehovah" as much as they'd love to get it copyrighted so that every time someone utters it, they get a dollar, and it's been in Christian religion as one of the names of God since the beginning. So, I had to quit recoiling every time I hear it or say it. Like anything it only has the power one gives it.

  We have to keep deprogramming ourselves, I think it's a process, not something that happens all at once. One thing that helps me is to write and read something truly inspirational. The way I feel when I do that does a lot to reassure me I'm not doing anything "evil". It feels right.

  Everytime I do or think something that would make JWs point and scream like a pod person, and I don't get struck down by their scary version of God, I know it's one less day that fear has a hold on me. It's a great feeling. It's freedom.
• 

  OnTheWayOut

  In your case, it should not be that hard to realize that WTS is wrong. I suffer similarly but for different reasons.
  I am totally blown away that I was duped into such twisting of good intentions and I have family still in the religion who think it is me that has a problem with "the truth" but that it still is the truth.

  For you, read read read. Learn what is wrong with WTS. The top recommendation I have is the first Steve Hassan book, COMBATTING CULT MIND CONTROL. You can find it at amazon or at freedomofmind.com. You will see how the JW's are similar to the Moonies (or any cult) and you will realize how they were trying a bit too hard to take over the way you think, feel, behave, take in further information.

  Next, to focus specifically on WTS, read the two Ray Franz books, CRISIS OF CONSCIENCE and IN SEARCH OF CHRISTIAN FREEDOM. Ray was a former Governing Body member who had no bitterness and thought much of the JW doctrine was still okay, but overall helps the reader to see why the WTS misuses it's authority and oversteps the Bible on many subjects.

  I would say, in your case, after reading those three books you can pretty much be sure that Jehovah of the Watchtower is not "the truth."
• 

  jws

  I felt that at first. I've had other relatives who felt the same way. The first step for me, and them, was to fully realize the JWs were NOT the authority.

  Much of the guilt was from things I was taught about living within the JW organization. You can't study the Bible on your own, you can't go into a church, you can't miss meetings, etc. Once you realize they have no authority, you will experience freedom from them. Like me, you may not give up all of their beliefs. That's OK. The important thing is to be rid of their controlling influence. Once that happens, you can start your own journey. Be open-minded to new ideas that might even seem wrong.

  The only warning is don't fall into another cult. Read Steve Hassan's books.

  For me (and other relatives), the best book was Ray Franz's Crisis of Conscience (as OnTheWayOut has said). That helped me see, from an inside perspective of the Governing Body, that they were just a bunch of men winging it all. They were not God's channel, often got things wrong, and had no more authority than any other religion. The rest followed from that thought.
• 

  Chalam

  Hi,

  This is the only way IMHO

  Titus 3:4-9 (New International Version)

  4 But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, 5 he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, 6 whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, 7 so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life. 8 This is a trustworthy saying. And I want you to stress these things, so that those who have trusted in God may be careful to devote themselves to doing what is good. These things are excellent and profitable for everyone.

  9 But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless.

  And this

  Colossians 3:10 (New International Version)

  10 and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.

  And this

  John 3:3 (New International Version)

  3 In reply Jesus declared, "I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again."

  All the best,

  Stephen