To me, it's like a cancer or malaria... the disease will always be in our mind even after we believe we are past the crisis ... formerly being a JW for many is a life-long battle. I personally know people who have not been in a KH for 40 years who are still so angry they keep a gun by their front door in case any publisher mistakenly knocks ... wish I had better news, but I doubt that flashbacks of your traumatic experience will ever completely go away ...