snubbed by the dubs...

by undercover 26 Replies latest jw friends

  • undercover
    undercover

    As most of ya'll know, I'm not DFd or DAd, just faded and I've commented about how I still have some contact with some JWs that I used to associate with. Only on rare occassions do JWs that I didn't know that well to begin with treat me as persona non grata...no big deal, I usually couldn't remember their names to begin with so it wasn't like I was being shunned by family or friends.

    This story begins at the mall, where I was with my wife (*SBM), not my favorite place to be...but the sacrifices we have to make sometimes...you married guys know...

    Anyhoo, we're in a common area near the food court, deciding if we wanted to get a snack or just hold out for real food in a real restaurant somewhere else, when a "sister" we've known for years spots my wife and comes up. We've known this person for over 20 years...we go way back. I was good friends with her when we were young, we even dated a couple of times, unbeknownst to my wife, who I met later.

    This "sister" sees my wife and excitedly hurries over to hug and they get into an animated conversation over some nonsense...all the while I'm standing there and not one word of hello or even an acknowledgment of my existence. Then the husband wanders over with his Starbucks coffee in hand. We know him, but not as well as the wife. He offers a warm greeting to my wife and ignores me. Not to be rude of course(wink wink), I extend my hand and say, "Hey, hows it going - it's been awhile..." He reluctantly shakes my hand and says, "I'm fine, thank you" and goes back to sipping his Starbucks. Noticing this exchange, the wife gives me a sideways glance, says, "oh hey" and turns right back to my wife, not even giving me a chance to return the greeting.

    I stood there the length of the conversation watching the young hot things cruising the mall while the three of them continued on with their boring conversation that I was not a part of. I did catch snippets of typical JW talk..."convention coming up", "CO coming", etc. I dare say I enjoyed my voyuerism much more than I would have enjoyed their conversation.

    The couple finished their conversation with my wife, said their goodbyes, exluding me of course, and off went the happy JW couple, sipping Starbucks and looking so smug in their righteousness.

    I wasn't hurt so much as confused and a little amused. Not having seen these people in years and not even being in the same congregation with them when I became inactive, I have to wonder just how much is whispered about me amongst old associates and friends...

    Ah, cult behavior, so quaint and charming, don't you think?

    *SBM - still believing mate

  • Olin Moyles Ghost
    Olin Moyles Ghost

    Classy. I wonder what Mrs. Undercover thought about the loving attitude displayed by "the happiest people on earth"?

  • snowbird
    snowbird

    JW's are their own worst enemy.

    I'm glad to hear that you weren't hurt by their behavior.

    Sylvia

  • Olin Moyles Ghost
    Olin Moyles Ghost

    Undercover, you have a pm.

  • LouBelle
    LouBelle

    Don't be confused - that is how they are. So what if you're snubbed by them - at least you didn't have to get all animated yourself - nothing like having a totally insincere conversation.

  • BluesBrother
    BluesBrother

    Rude people indeed...Hardly the way to win back a "lost sheep!" - We do not know what has been said about you, - Leave them be..

    PS I like your description of a typical shopping trip - so true, on both sides of the Atlantic ........

  • willyloman
    willyloman

    That was extremely rude behavior, in which your wife was a willing participant. I'd have called her out on it. If the same thing had happened to her, she'd have been seething and you'd have never heard the end of it.

  • blondie
    blondie

    UC, so did your wife notice their behavior? Maybe she should have included you in her conversation with them rather than seemingly go along with it. I just keep the conversation going, asking questions that require more than a yes or no. I have been known to let some know that I'm not df'd or da'd and they can talk to me. I did have one get more comfortable telling me that they had "heard" that I was df'd. (I wonder who started that story).

  • mouthy
    mouthy

    How sad.... I hope your marriage lasts. With sbw "friends "You got your enemies.

    They are out to destroy!!!!! Lets hope it is not your relationship with the missus (HUG)

  • Finally-Free
    Finally-Free
    the three of them continued on with their boring conversation that I was not a part of.

    On the positive side, at least they waited for you to be inactive before they treated you that way. That's exactly how I was treated for the entire 20 years I was baptized.

    ...and the JWs couldn't figure out why I left. I'm still trying to figure out why I stayed so long.

    W

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