Noah is impossible..........

by AK - Jeff 11 Replies latest watchtower bible

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    There is so much to say about the account of Noah that shows it to be phoney. But from just a single angle it can be safely concluded that it is just a pack of nonsense.

    Genesis chapter 5:

    • Noah is listed as the 10th generation from Adam.
    • Adam was 130 when he became a father.
    • Seth was 105 when he became a father.
    • Enosh was 90 when he became a father.
    • Kenan was 70 when he became a father.
    • Mahalalel was 75 when he became a father.
    • Jared was 162 when he became a father.
    • Enoch was 65 when he became a father.
    • Methuselah was 187 when he became a father.
    • Lamech was 182 when he became a father.
    • Noah was 500 when he became a father.

    The average age for the first child in the first 9 was 118.4 years. Now assuming that for some reason these very viril, healthy men, who had been given the commission by God to 'fill the earth' waited until they were well into their first century of life before they married, this might make sense.

    But then along comes Noah. He doesn't have any children till he is 500. Then he has three and stops at that. His kids live for a hundred years and do get married, but never have any children until after the flood.

    How is this possible? There was no effective birth control, and in fact, birth control was prohibited by God. When they copulated, they populated. And they surely wanted to, and did, copulate. How did Noah manage to go 500 years without any children? Then another 100 with no children? How did his kids go 100 years without any children? Didn't wives [according to a scripture in Genesis] desire children to be fulfilled? How did these women allow centuries to go by without demanding children?

    Just a few years later, Lot's daughters were so concerned with bearing children that they forced Lot into incest in order to assure it. Are we to imagine that Noah's wife was so complacent about the matter that she waited 500 years to conceive?

    One could go on and on.

    The entire premise is just foolish if one dares look carefully.

    Thoughts?

    Jeff

  • Yizuman
    Yizuman

    You're forgetting the Hebrew calendar.

    Yiz

  • BurnTheShips
    BurnTheShips
    Thoughts?

    You are forgetting that few things are im-possible.

    And we are on the threshold of the day when year olds will be able to bear children, if they want to.

    And 500 year olds, if they want to wait half a millenium.

    If humans can do this, can't God?

    BTS

  • PrimateDave
    PrimateDave

    There are two different flood stories that were later edited into the one we are familiar with in the book of Genesis today. I originally posted this on a different thread: Arguments about the flood

    First there is the Javist account.

    Noteworthy features of this account:
    1. Jehovah (YHWH, Yahweh) is used throughout.
    2. Seven of each "clean" beast and flying creature. Only two of the rest.
    3. The flood lasts for forty days and nights.
    4. Noah spends 61 days in the ark. (7+40+7+7=61)
    5. Noah sends out a dove. Where did the dove go the last time? It couldn't find a mate right after the flood, could it?
    6. Noah makes an animal sacrifice. Jehovah likes the smell of burnt flesh.

    Then there is the Elohist account.

    Noteworthy features of this account:
    1. God (Elohim) is used throughout, not Jehovah (YHWH)
    2. Only two of each beast, clean and unclean, and only two of each flying creature.
    3. Flood lasts 150 days.
    4. Noah spends one year and ten days in the ark.
    5. Noah used a raven.
    6. No sacrifice is mentioned. This point reflected the centralized role of sacrifice to the priestly writer of this version of the flood. Richard Friedman gives an explanation of this in his book, Who Wrote the Bible?

    In the original post I split up the two stories for anyone who wants to read them as separate entities. Sorry, I used the NWT as my source. And once you can see the two stories as competing and somewhat contradictory accounts, you begin to understand the importance of the Documentary Hypothesis. Another of my favorites is the rebellion of Korah, Dathan, and Abiram. The post-exilic editor really screwed that one up big time! But wait, there's more, much more! "All scripture is inspired of God and beneficial"? My ASS! Speaking of asses, do you know the most stretchable character in the Bible?

    Dave

  • Narkissos
    Narkissos

    As has been pointed out on another thread (a few months ago), it was a narrative necessity for the editor of Genesis to have Noah "beget" (comparatively) so late, in order to have all previous patriarchs die before the Flood (Metushelah/Mathusalem being the limit case as he dies on the year of the Flood). The Septuagint tradition (which has different figures) was not attentive to this detail, since in it Metushelah dies after the Flood.

  • BurnTheShips
    BurnTheShips

    Methuselah was a badass, wasn't he?

    That is a lot of swimming.

    BTS

  • Leolaia
    Leolaia

    Check out Arpachshad. Genesis 11:10 (P) claims that he was born two years after the Flood "when Shem was a hundred years old". But Shem should have been 102 or 103 (depending on whether Arpachshad was born two years after the completion of the Flood or when it commenced), since he was born when Noah was at least 500 years old (Genesis 5:32, also P) and the Flood came when Noah was 600 years old (7:11, also P). If 5:32 doesn't construe all three sons born in the same year, then the discrepency widens even more.

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    Thoughts?

    Jeff, Jeff, Jeff,

    Obviously, since everyone was living to be nearly a thousand years old, they didn't spend just a few months in their mother's womb. Mrs. Noah carried their first son... er, Shadrak, I think... in her womb for about 325 years... at the very least. This first one carried the dark skinned genes since that bun was in the oven for a way, way long time. The second son, Meshak, was less than a year, so he begatted us white folk. The last one, Abedneggo was premature and kind of polka-dotted. Sadly, he and his wife were eaten by the lions in the ark.

    I believe that there is some mention in that Jewish storybook that some of the younguns before the flood were almost born but decided to go back in for a while longer. That's where Jesus came up with the born again thing, I think.

    I'm sure Leolaia can back me up with some references on this. So, it's pointless to argue with me. Oh, and if you add the right numbers, you come up with 1914.

    B the X

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    Sorry, need to clarify. I knew something didn't sound right in that post. Noah's sons were named Moe, Larry, and Curly.

    Sorry for any confusion.

    B the X

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    B the X. Funny stuff.

    Bethelites are supposed to be more pious than that Billy!

    Jeff

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