Hang on... Hang on I'm getting a signal... Yes it's coming in quite clearly! Hold on... Yup, Jehovah just told me to kick your ass...
LOL I like your signals.
Kees that sounds terrible. I hate what JW's do to couples.
Crazy JW chaperon Stories
by superman 78 Replies latest jw friends
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loosie
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Bangalore
Cool stories.
Bangalore
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respectful_observer
When I was dating someone in my congregation, we got pulled aside one day because someone has seen us....walking down the street together without a chaperone!!!
Her parents also insisted that we take seperate vehicles to drive 2 hours to visit them, and that we'd have to sleep in different houses upon our arrival. We were both adults with our own homes. After double-checking the WT CD-ROM (yeah, we actually wasted the time doing that), our response to them was: "Well it's your house and so we'll respect your rules. We've done the research, and unless you can show us from the WT that two dating adults must always travel with a chaperone and cannot sleep under the same roof (in sep bedrooms obviously), I guess we'll never get to visit you as a dating couple." Two days later they called back and said one car and sleeping under one roof would be fine.
As an aside, I think it's hysterical that the Bethel dating rules mandate a chaperone in many circumstances, but strangely enough, a Bethelite is aloud to have his girlfriend alone in his room...as long as the door is open. Anyone who has spent any time at Bethel knows that the corridors there are ghost towns 95% of the time. Even if the door WAS open, how many random Bethelites would just wander into a random room just because the door was open. I can only imagine the amount of hanky panky that has occurred under that "open door" policy.
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Julia Orwell
Omg how do I mark this thread? I have a zillion mad chaperone stories and my little smartphone isn't enough til I get the laptop pit tomorrow.
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Londo111
This brings back memories I've suppressed. I remember my to-be mother-in-law took me to the elders several times for dating her daughter. She wanted to chaperone and I was like, “I’m 29, we are adults, no!” Certain elders warned against riding in the car together alone, even for a lunch date. I thought that was crazy. Even when I was on a date, chaperoned by my friend and her friend, a pioneer couple saw us and reported it to my parents. All we were doing is walking through a mall.
Even though having children in this “system” is discouraged, a relationship might yield to children. Sometimes I wonder if subconsciously groups like this must control that possibility of who may be allow to reproduce. If a match is approved, their dating is facilitated. However, I think the group dynamic is such that is tries to discourage some members from dating at all.
Let's review: It's a cult!
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finally awake
I remember one elder who bragged that he wouldn't allow a female coworker to ride in his car unless there was at least one other male along. I thought it was a thinly veiled criticism of my carpooling to work with a man older than my father. It was ridiculous, and I refused to bow to the pressure. It was a great year for me work wise having a chaffeur to drive me around.
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Dazeds Better Half
Ah, memories. I remember feeling so guilty for meeting my now husband for breakfast at ihop without a chaperone :) my parents were out of town and I was supposed to be going to saturday morning bookstudy then service. Instead I ditched and went and had breakfast. Oh the guilt I felt. How silly :)
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LongHairGal
I remember all this sick garbage. Once, a single brother wouldn't sit next to me at the memorial beause of how it would "look" and I saw the knowing exchange between him and the seat attendant. [Well, I once changed my seat because somebody smelled of cigarettes, but that doesn't count.]
There were brothers who wouldn't ride in a car alone with a sister, etc. and service groups that had to be structured a certain way - and god help the odd numbered single sister.
I also remember a single sister who was never invited anywhere and she was asked to chaperone an engaged couple. Once they got married, she was forgotten like yesterday's garbage.
There were even delusional guys who nobody would touch with a ten-foot pole acting as if some sister was going to jump them. The ridiculous stories are endless.
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Julia Orwell
Traveling to my mum's place to pick up furniture with a Jw friend in his Ute and everyone who saw us called his girlfriend and gave her hell for being alone with him when she wasn't even there, it was me, and he was helping me move furniture!
My friend meets her boyf at a crowded mall for coffee. Eventually the gossip grows to they're sleeping together. Also she and he are forbidden to speak until her divorce comes through (1 year and 1 day from the filing of the divorce although she was scripturally free and had been for 3 years).
My fiance and I backroomed because people complained to the elders we drove to the assembly together unchaperoned and to other places as well. We were 30 and 40 respectively, he' d been married before and we neither of us lived with parents or had Jw family. I pored over all references to chaperones in the wt writings and found nothing stating you MUST have a chaperone, rather it was just a recommendation and the elders couldn't scripturally hold us to it. They didnt like that. I also said if people think we're doing the wrong thing when we're alone that says they have dirty minds, and it's a reflection on them and not us. The elders didn't like that either. The whole thing was so bloody ludicrous and I felt so bloody insulted that we couldn't be trusted as adults and that people bitched to the elders rather than take it up with us.
Or the time, many times, my elderly married male pioneer friend whom I viewed like a father and I would go alone on calls. Went on for years and no one cared until some courting couples came along, one teenage and one 24 and 32 respectively. I got counseled a couple of times and told although they know nothing is going on, I must set a better example to the couples. I told my friend and he was annoyed no one came to him and just picked on me when he is the older one taking me in his car.
Oh yes I did get chewed out by some bitter spinster pioneer sis about going alone with my old pioneer friend, her saying anything could happen and I could never truly say I'd never been alone with him if something semi related came up down the track. I thought she was just an idiot and told my friend and we had a laugh.
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free and happy
When my husband asked me out he was only 16 and I was 19 and looking back I could understand the concern that was shown being so young but it makes me laugh the way we were treated.
I actually got on well with his Mum up until that point but then I got,"he's to young for you", "why would you think a 16 year old would want to be in a serious relationship", "your a pioneer , you could have anyone".
We had he was going to lead me astray etc etc.
If the young ones were going out altogether, only 1 of us could go, we could only say hello at meetings and then had to talk to other people, we werent allowed to go on field service together and if we were out, then could only spend a few moments with each other talking.
When they finally saw we were serious, we were never allowed anywhere without a chaperon, which used to be an elderly brother my husband picked up for the meeting, or my younger sister who used to hate having to be with us all the time and I mean all the time!
Even at meeting we werent allowed to sit together and had to have someone sit inbetween us, what they thought we were going to do, I don't know! Laughable now.not so funny then!