My JW daughter getting married June 6th

by Gordy 23 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Gordy
    Gordy

    Tomorrow, or when ever you read this, June 6th, my JW daughter gets married.

    I will not be going.

    I have thought about it since hearing she was getting married. But I somehow cannot bring myself to go. She has had no contact with me since 2001, and I mean no contact, spoken to, letter or otherwise. Not even an invite to the wedding, except through a third party. Which was, I can attend if I sit at the back and be discreet, and watch an Elder give her away, also not invited to the reception.

    My other children, three who are non-JWs, and two who are also disassociated JWs, I have left to make up their own minds.
    The three non-JWs are going to the wedding, but not the reception.
    One of the DA'd ones, a daughter is going to the wedding, same as me, sit at back. She is going with her male partner. Not invited to reception. Also she is not allowed to go back to her mothers home, before or after.

    My eldest son, also DA'd, is not going, he invited his JW mother and two JW sisters, to his wedding three years ago.
    Which was being held in a church. They did not attend.

    I am not feeling down about it all, only in the sense that its sad that so called "Christians" behave in such a way.
    To me its just another example of the way JWs think and behave.

    Also the hypocrisy they show, in light of what one of their magazines reently says:

    "The Bible assures us that God wants us to "really find him". Since our Creator wants us to search for truth, it cannot be wrong to act on the evidence we find - even if that means changing our religion." "God allows each person the freedom to choose how he or she will respond.
    No one should be forced to worship in a way that he finds unacceptable or be made to choose between his beliefs and his family."
    I know many other ex-JWs have had worse treatment than mine.
    Many have found out about their brothers, sisters, even mothers or fathers (remarriage), months after the weddings have taken place. Often by accident when someone has made some remark about it.
    I have even heard about ex-JWs learning about their mother or fathers death, from some non-JW, who said they were sorry to hear about the death. This usually weeks afterwards as well.

    I will use this occasion, when ever people ask me about JWs and their beliefs.

  • Mickey mouse
    Mickey mouse

    That sucks Gordy, no two ways about it.

    I hope she sees the error of her ways one day.

  • Quandry
    Quandry

    I have even heard about ex-JWs learning about their mother or fathers death, from some non-JW, who said they were sorry to hear about the death. This usually weeks afterwards as well.

    Yes, I have read these posts, and they are heartbreaking.

    Even so, if my daughter was getting married, I would have to go, regardless of where I had to sit. I would just want to see her. I would walk through the reception line after the wedding, and tell her how beautiful she looks, and how I have loved her since the day she was born.

    Things may change in the future. You never know what will happen. If she has questions, she needs to know that there is someone who cares for her, someone she can count on. You could be that person........

  • passwordprotected
    passwordprotected

    Really sad to hear this, Gordy...

  • lalaa
    lalaa

    So sad. It really pisses me off that this kind of stuff happens. Familys being torn apart is not loving at all.

  • jamiebowers
    jamiebowers

    Even if you can't force yourself to go, please send her a card of congratulations, and let her know that you'll always be there for her. Being that she's a second class member of the congregation by virtue of her gender, she very well may need you someday...if not to save her sanity, it may be to save her life. Please listen to the voice of experience.

  • choosing life
    choosing life

    It is situations like this that show just how heartless the jw religion is. They not only break up immediate families, but make sure to carry the damage into succeeding generations.

    Jw nonsense has disrupted all the weddings of my kids. Why can they not realize that this is a private, special occasion for families? They have no shame. It is really none of their business.

    The one thing I tried to concentrate on is how I could support my son/daughter in the crazy circumstances forced on us by their cruel "rules". They are often totally stressed by the circumstances too. I always felt guilty for bringing them into this crazy religion to begin with.

    Your daughter may be behaving in a cruel way, but you are her only father and secretly she may be wishing things were different. Playing whatever part you can to support her may someday pay off in your relationship with her. I know it hurts to be rejected from the proper honer she should be showing her father.

    Let her know that her father will always be there for her, no matter what. Hug her and tell her you will always love her. Hopefully, she will come to you when she needs advice or help and the mind control is wearing thin.

  • allelsefails
    allelsefails

    My deepest symapathies for your situation. I know the utter control the the ORG has on families and it makes me crazy. I hope all goes well and you're able to have a relationship with your daughter in the future. Hopefully the ORG will change (not likely) or her attitude will soften (more likely). I do always recommend being the man you need to be and giving what you should give despite anyone else's feelings, but obviously watching someone else give away your daughter is a burden no one should bear. Peace be to you.

  • mouthy
    mouthy

    Gordy my heart aches for you.

    But I agree with Jamie. Do drop her a loving card
    letting her know you love her.Hoping she will be happy.
    When my son got married in a Church.(He was not a JW)The elders said I
    should not go...But I did( I was the only JW that went ,all other JWs
    in our family wouldnt go.)
    I walked up the isle with his usher ,feeling the roof might come down
    at any minit. praying for forgiveness to Jehovah ALL the time.
    Gordy my son died at 46 years old. I am so glad I showed my LOVE
    to him... regardless of mans rules .,wicked rules of the WT
    Think about it sweetie

  • Barbie Doll
    Barbie Doll

    Even if you can't force yourself to go, please send her a card of congratulations, and let her know that you'll always be there for he

    But I agree with Jamie. Do drop her a loving card letting her know you love her.Hoping she will be happy.

    I agree you need to tell her how much you love her.

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