Update from Open Mind.

by Open mind 34 Replies latest jw experiences

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  OnTheWayOut

  I think Scarred for Life was trying to say, "I agree 100% with OnTheWayOut."
  
  
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  Open mind

  OTWO, my wife's definitely not ready for either of us to fade. She realizes that its unfair to ask minors to commit to a religion that will shun them for life if they change their mind. She doesn't (yet) realize that the religion isn't "The Truth". So fading is still in the future. My influence on her is greater at my current level of "spiritual strength" than it would be if I was a weak, flaky, inactive person. Then I would be this pariah that she needs to protect herself and the kids from. When we had our "confrontation" a few months ago, I agreed to make our family study happen more regularly. I followed through on that. Now she falls asleep half the time and the other half we end up having one-on-one discussions later on how this point or that point in the Borg material seems a little extreme for the kids to swallow.
  
  As for all the arguments you presented against my oldest getting baptized, you're preaching to the choir. I've already presented them. He/she has weighed them. And currently is LEANING towards baptism. I have a feeling that it won't happen, but time will tell.
  
  And as for getting removed as an elder, our local elder body isn't as hard core as some when it comes to higher education, in spite of the letter from "Mother" telling them they need to be. But, I do think it might be a good idea for me to drop a public comment here and there in favor of higher ed and see where that leads.
  
  Let me just say one last thing. My family is pretty happy and well adjusted. We're financially stable, still enjoy doing things together and are slowly progressing towards the light of rational thinking. I'm trying to make lemonade out of lemons and, for the most part, I think we're getting there.
  
  om
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  Doubting Bro

  Hey OM! Good to "see" you. Glad to hear things are good with you & your family.
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  OnTheWayOut

  Hey, thanks for the more complete information.

  For the record, I never mentioned your wife fading, just that she is ready for your next step. You need to decide what steps to take and when. While you and I differ on that, I didn't suggest what the next step for you might be. I see you are taking some baby steps by being a lousy elder.

  I am concerned that this could backfire on the wife. You are acting the lousy elder, so being less active would be natural for you. But the wife might not see it that way. She may see that you have allowed "the world" to wear you down. Still, you say to-may-toe and I say to-mah-toe.
  I just don't see spiritual strength in an elder that blows off assignments or gives bad talks, from a JW point-of-view. Sure, my wife thinks I may have some problem, but she knows that I gave it my all as a JW elder and I stand by my principles on the way out.

  Maybe have your oldest one speak to those that I have mentioned. Let "her" hear from those that never got baptized and those that did and had to face that decision. I am pretty much screaming this at you because I firmly believe that escaping the actual act of becoming a full-fledged member can make such a difference.

  I can see you speak your own mind about higher education. Still, a suggestion would be to just go ahead and step aside based on your child's decisions, telling the BOE and telling your wife that you uphold your child's welfare ahead of the title.

  I just suggest. Defend your position if you want to, but feel free to just do as you want.

  There's no baby in that bathwater, there's no sugar in the Kingdom Hall to make lemonade out of the lemons.
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  Scarred for life

  Hey, OTWO. Yes, I did mean that I agree 100% with you. Thanks for correcting that above.