How do you replace a family?

by YoursChelbie 19 Replies latest jw friends

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  YoursChelbie

  As a result of wanting to have a normal life, away from the dogma of the JW religion,

  many have lost contact with parents, children and in many cases, their spouse.

  My divorce was uncontested and I was fortunate enough to get out of from Watchtower control with my children.

  My parents were never involved with the religion,

  so they were more than happy to have me back in the real world.

  What about you? What has helped you gain a sense of belonging after leaving the JW religion?

  Do you feel that you can reach out to others here on this forum when you are in need of someone to talk to?

  How do you replace a family? What fills the void?

  YC
• 

  kitten whiskers

  I have had family members who never were jw extend themselves a bit to help out emotionally and support us. But I haven't filled the void. My heart feels like a long empty hallway, and I hear the echo of only my own shoes as I walk through.
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  vikesgirl101

  This has been really hard since my Dad is 69 and still an elder in the cong. Both my parents are so involved as JW's...it's almost maddening. They have known where my path is leading. I am 33, but have tried to leave the org. a few times. The guilt of being told that "This is the ONLY RELIGION" or "Armageddon is almost here, don't let your kids die because of your choice" has kept me a prisoner. There is never a true replacement for family, but I have watched my family stray away from me. That has hurt, but it forces one to make choices. To me, I am thankful for the family that calls me their "surrogate daughter". They are better than my parents. She is an ex-Jw as well. They call me every day. I am so blessed. The key is to make the first step and look for people. It has kept my life very full of new family.
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  dingo1

  easy, move on and do not look back. get a hobby
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  jamiebowers

  Gradually...with people who are worthy of your trust.
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  vikesgirl101

  Wonderfully stated, Jamie!
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  Barbie Doll

  We lost PEC Brother to JW's It hurts.
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  wavvy

  yeah...still hurts me...

  out of a family of about 40, only 3 came to my wedding to a non JW

  wish I had a "surrogate" family...altho my husbands family is rather sweet
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  OUTLAW

  You can`t........You can only go on............................OUTLAW
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  Hopscotch

  I too wish I had a surrogate family. In fact last year as my JW family was starting to draw away from me I told my husband (half jokingly) that I was tempted to put an ad in the paper looking for a family to adopt me (and my husband and son). I don't know how to fully fill the void that is left when your family shuns you - it is so achingly painful. I have made contact with my non JW cousins and aunt, but it is not the same and they live a bit far away to see them often.

  I have made some lovely new friends as well but it doesn't replace the closeness of family. All my immediate family have shunned me since Dec08/Jan09. My husband's JW mother lives with us but she is schizophrenic and mentally unbalanced and his JW brother is in Brooklyn bethel and has had virtually nothing to do with us for a few years since we asked him to help out more with his mother.

  I look at 'worldly' families having fun times together or listen to others stories of what they did with their extended family with such envy.

  Damn this horrible cult for the pain they cause us.

  Hopscotch