So I am writing my letter...

vikesgirl101

I thought I was done with the Jw's. I knew they made an announcement last year about me. I assumed by the avoidance of so many, and my lack of enthusiasm for "The TRUTH", as well as I have slammed the door on the elders many times now, exiled me. Alas, it has not. They broke into my secured apartment building last week (another issue) and asked if I felt I was under the authority of the Christian COngregation. WTF?????

I hear writing a letter to them asking to be disassociated does the trick. Any suggestions on what to write? Someone said the less words you put in, the better. So it should be like this:

To Whom it may concern,

I, __________ __________,am asking to be removed as a member of your congregation.

SIncerely X

Any thoughts???

LouBelle

or rather just write that you are asking them to please not contact you any longer, you are by no means dis-associating yourself as you know the shunning it brings and if they announce anything to that effect you will take it up with the law for discrimination.

thomas15

I cannot comment on the wisedom of your request, I'm sure others will though. However, in the business world, when your write a letter, it is best to write a short concise letter that is specific, to the point. Tell them what you want exactly. Give them instruction. Leave no room for opinion.

Remember, you are not asking them for a favor, you are telling them what you want them to do. Of course, politeness is assumed.

Again, I have no idea if it is a good idea to write them but if you do, be specific.

Tom

Finally-Free

Remember, you are not asking them for a favor, you are telling them what you want them to do. Of course, politeness is assumed.

My thoughts exactly. You are not asking them. You are telling them. They are the ones who don't have a choice in the matter.

W

jwfacts

It could be a trick question. If you do not consider yourself under the authority of the Christian congregation then they are not to disfellowship you, though they could instead anounce that by your actions you have disassociated yourself.

Your letter is fine, but it is playing by the rules. Why not send them an AVO (Apprehended Violence Order- it may be called something else in other countries) from the police demanding they must not contact you again. That way you make your intentions clear without actually following their authority.

vikesgirl101

Hmm...You all give good thougts and advice. Do you think a letter is a BAD option? It will suck for me because my Dad is an elder still there. It will hurt them alot, but I feel that it is time to part ways. The issue is that I am not going to live by the their standards anymore. I divorced my ishy JW husband, and I may marry again someday (that makes me a harlot). Someone told me that if I divorced that I can never remarry (or date) ever again. I think this is insane. It's not that I plan to marry, I am just sick of their rules. The "No denim" law pisses me off too. How much of a cult is it when they decide the fabric of your clothes? I have a list of things that annoys me.

I hate that we count hours. Doesn't God decide how valueable our service is to him?

I hate that we ostracize "the world", but bang on their doors and ask them to join us in ostracizing others.

I hate that tell you there should be an ethical format to your prayers to God. Let it come from the heart, don't tell me how YOU think it should be done.

I hate that we disown family and friends because we think we are being better Christians.

I hate that they intimdate others.

Women are treated like they are lesser.

So the question is be DA'd or DF'd?? If I tell them to stay away, will they just DF me? Will they look for dirty laundry to air out about me? What will they tell my kids? "Your Mommy is really bad...don't be like her."? If I say I do not want to be any part of them, disassociate me, will they leave me alone, and stop bothering me?

Once again, thanks so much for the food for thought.

asilentone

"Fuck you" will do the trick!

Scarred for life

How did you answer their question about being under the authority of the Christian Congregation?

jamiebowers

Who has custody of your kids? Do you want a relationship with your dad? If your ex has custody, and you want to be able to keep talking to your dad, I would suggest ignoring them.

vikesgirl101

Actually, here is how complicated it is:

I left my ex-husband for good about two years ago. I have a restraining order on him, because he would just walk into my new home, at any given time. Usually, it was to snoop, or to tell me that divorcing him was unchristian of me. I maintain full custody of our girls, but he sees them twice a week. I actually had it arranged so that he could continue taking the girls to meetings. Then, he stopped going entirely to all meetings. Our girls who are 13 and 8, have no interest in the JW religion now. But that way he couldn't say that I was trying to raise the girls against the way they had been brought up. Truly, I believe in free choice. If my girls want to be a JW, whatever...Just do whatever your heart tells you, not some man.

The relationship with my ex is only to be related to the kids, and that is all. I am sure he will take my dismissal from the cong as a benefit to himself. He will probably start attending again, to prove a point. I know that it sounds entirely judgemental for me to say that, but I was married to him for 13 years. This is what he does.

Scarred for life: As for what I told the elders, I just told them I wasn't up to that question that day, and needed space. It was obvious I wasn't feeling well, so they left me alone.

Does anyone know what their goal was in asking "Do you feel that you are under the authority of the Christian Congregation?"? It is such an odd question IMHO.

So I am writing my letter...

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