So I am writing my letter...

by vikesgirl101 19 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  GoddessRachel

  Hi vikesgirl,

  I am interested in the same questions jamiebowers asked you. If your ex has even partial custody of the kids your disassociating yourself will give you even less control over what your children are told about you - I would think. In the protection of the kids perhaps you should just ignore the elders.

  If you have full custody of the kids is it possible to move away? Simply leaving and not looking back might be the best solution if it is possible.

  My parents know things about me that could get me disfellowshipped if they were to push it. But the annoucement would be crushing to my mother. So I believe they will never out me. And I believe it hurts them less for me to have simply left, moved away, and be inactive than to be disfellowshipped or officially disassociate myself. Plus like JWFacts said I do not recognize their rules as having any authority over me, which means I have walked away from their religion and do not consider myself to be a part of it. I got baptized as a teenager and so it was not legally binding. I do not recognize it. I am simply done with it.

  Good luck!

  Rachel

  Edited to say: I did not see your last post before I submitted mine. I will go back and read that now.
• 

  GoddessRachel

  vikesgirl, I think they were asking you that question to try and prove you are an apostate so they can disfellowship you, probably. If you say you are not under the authority of the Christian Congregation, you are going against what they teach you, therefore you are an apostate.

  It is a weird question, but probably that is so you are caught off guard without a planned response, like you may have to more obvious questions.

  Now that I have read your last post, I will ask again, can you move away?
• 

  Borgia

  Vikesgirl:

  as otheralready remarked:

  They broke into my secured apartment building last week (another issue) and asked if I felt I was under the authority of the Christian COngregation. WTF?????

  By writing that letter you acknowledge to be under that authority. ......

  Instead: revoke/ deny the "right" to register anything in connection with you.

  Cheers

  Borgia
• 

  vikesgirl101

  I love the idea of moving away, but I really can't right now. I have a year long lease here, and the kids are pretty established in their school. I think the fact that I have let the kids have a life is catching up with me. I have decided to not allow them (the borg) to intimidate my children into not having a life. One of my girls is in the community theatre (She took up Drama this year), and the other one wanted to be in our town's "Little Miss Pageant". The experience has been great for both kids. They love it. But it does show that my intentions are pretty much independant of theirs.

  My ex would have a real battle if he chooses to try to uproot the kids and get custody. He is losing his home soon, he owes me child support since October of last year, he is chronically broke, because he cannot manage money. My life is more stable. He doesn't have a leg to stand on. Pulling the religion card out of his a$$ this far out would be expensive and ultimately, very low of him. I think a judge would see through that.

  I like the thought of avoiding it all. That would be great! I wonder for how long it would work? Next they will be hanging on my window with a crowbar trying to get in.
• 

  villabolo

  Vikesgirl, send them a certified letter stating all you told us about them breaking in and use the words harrasment and stalking to describe the elders behavior. Get a court order against them if necessary. Avoid any mention of religion in the letter.

  Villabolo
• 

  rebel8

  Aside from the main topic of this thread, breaking into a locked apartment building is of concern.

  You can include in your letter a request to be on the permanent "do not call" list. Send it by mail with returned receipt and save the receipt.

  I was told by law enforcement here that you need to retain records of who you told not to trespass (names) and the date/time, along with any other details of the conversation. Once they violate it several times, you can place them under citizen's arrest and call the cops to complete the arrest. Say this in your letter. If you're in the US, mention the letter the society sent the elders telling them it's illegal to trespass. That is just for knocking on your door.

  Furthermore, there's the issue of breaking and entering (a crime). You might consider also mentioning in your letter that you're aware they broke into a locked apartment building, you've notified the landlord, and you'll be making a police report immediately if it happens again.
• 

  GoddessRachel

  Yeah, seriously, the more I think of this, it isn't an issue of religion, and for the sake of your children refuse to admit how you feel about the JW religion. You do not owe answers to anybody. You do not owe answers to anybody. People can ask you whatever they want. But you do not owe answers to anybody. (It took me a long time to really understand this very important concept!)

  But like Rebel said, this is an issue of breaking the law and making you feel insecure, plain and simple. If they were not JW's and doing this, how would you handle it? If it were a crazy stalker person, how would you handle it to ensure your personal safety? Handle it the same way.

  Rachel
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  JWdaughter

  Get a restraining order and at the very least do what villabolo? said regarding a letter to the cong. regarding the B&E and harrassment. Leave religion out of it. If you were a catholic, the priest stalking you should be brought up to HIS higher authority AND the police. Treat them like anyone else who is harrassing you. You don't owe them anything.
• 

  vikesgirl101

  I took in all your great advice. I figured everybody would say "Ditch em". All my friends have no clue what a hold it has on your brain. The mental stigma of hurting borg family is so strong. Only you guys would get that.

  So here is my plan; I am going to address the forced entry into my building. I think that is top priority. Second, I have to get at least past the 4th of July. My daughter is in the parade as the city's Little Miss. I want her to enjoy that. But the less fuss I make over it, the better. If I DA now, it may spark alot of people to tend to my kids in a way that I do not want. Particularly, my ex.

  I do think I need a formal fade. They have been after me for awhile. I am tired of feeling like I have to hide when I see them. It feels like I have to look over my shoulder continually. I think alot of my family is done with me. My Mom is the only one that will talk to me. My dad and my siblings will walk the other way. They have formed their opinion of me.

  I don't feel so much that I owe them an answer, as much as I just need peace of mind. That has been stripped of me. I do not feel secure at all now.
• 

  GoddessRachel

  You are absolutely justified in your decision. Remember that no matter what.

  You are in my thoughts, vikesgirl!

  And you are right, people here do get it. I just have to be thankful that my friends don't understand. It's better that way, for them!

  Rachel