Wow

by mrsjones5 44 Replies latest jw friends

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    My 11 year old daughter wrote this. It's based on a book called "The Cay" by Theodore Taylor that was told from the perspective of a boy. She wrote from the perspective of the man that befriended the boy:

    At sunset, the air was heavy and hot. I described the sky to Phillip. I told him it was flaming red and there was thin layers of high clouds. It was so quiet on the cay, Phillip and I could only hear the rustle of the lizards. A little bit before dark I said, "Twon't be long now Phill-eep."

    I felt a light breeze begin to ripple the smooth as glass sea. I told Phillip I saw an are of really dark, black clouds to the west. Phillip pulled StewCat closer to him. I knew he was scared. Gust of wind came now and then, rattling the palm fronds and shaking the small hut. A little after dark the first drops of rain hit the hut. When the cool wind gust came, the rain hit the hut like a child throwing handfuls of pebbles.

    When the wind began to blow steadily, I went out fo the hut and looked up at the sky. I shouted to Phillip, "Dey boilin' ovah now, Phill-eep. Tis hurricane, to be sure."

    I could hear the surf beginning to crash. I ducked back into the hut, stretching my body. If I could hang on the overhead frame, I could keep the hut up straight. Phillip screamed. I shouted back, "B'nothin' but d'lil lizzard, comin' high groun'."

    The storm was getting worse, our luck too. Our hut blew away. We lay on the ground, flat, covering our heads for two hours, barely able to breathe in the horrible rain.

    "To d'palm", I shouted.

    I stood with my back to the storm. I put Phillip's arms through the loops of the rope and then roped myself, behind him, to the tree. The water was up to Phillip's ankles, then his knees. I was taking the full blow of the storm sheltering Phillip with my body. When the water went back to sea it would tug at us. I used all my strength to fight against it.

    Phillip and I were tied to the palm tree for an hour, when the wind suddenly died down and the rain became softer. We were in the eye. It hurt to move. My back felt horrible.

    We were in the eye for about 20 to 30 minutes. The worst storm came after it. A giant wave struck us reaching at least 30 feet in the air. The second wave hit us and it knocked Phillip out. I yelled his name and not long after I went unconscious.

    I woke up. Phillip had already untied himself and was working on me. I was cold and limp. Suddenly I fell back. I rolled over on my stomach and asked Phillip if he was okay. He said he was alright. He put his hand on my back. It was warm and sticky. I had been cut to ribbons and I was bleeding. Phillip went to sleep and I did too.

    I could see the place I was going to, but I didn't want to go this soon. I didn't want to leave Phillip, my young bahss, my friend.

    She got a 24 out of 25 only because she didn't color the picture she drew to accompany the story. I love the caption she put above her picture, "In my world of darkness, I learned that holding a hand could be like medicine."

    Josie

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    That's beautiful, Josie.

    Is your daughter interested in going further into creative writing? I hope that she does. There's real promise.

    CoCo

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    She been writing ever since about second grade. I would find sheets of stuff she's thrown away and would be just blown away. I still collect things that she writes. That above is going straight into my collection.

    Josie

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Good for you, Josie.

    I tell my students never to toss their stories or their artwork. It WILL be useful years down the road. I have some of my own school work from 50 years ago.

    Good night from the neighborhood.

    CoCo

  • wha happened?
    wha happened?

    I remember that book.

  • LouBelle
    LouBelle

    give your daughter a round of applause - She's a talented lil one. Don't you just feel great that you can encourage her to follow something like this instead of putting hour upon hour in field service.

  • quietlyleaving
    quietlyleaving

    marvellous

  • snowbird
    snowbird

    I remember that book, also.

    Josie, baby girl got talent! No doubt it!

    Please keep encouraging her.

    Sylvia

  • snowbird
    snowbird

    I can hardly wait for John Donne, er, Doe to see this.

    Sylvia

  • BurnTheShips
    BurnTheShips

    Wow. That girl has talent. She could be a writer some day.

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