by mrsjones5 32 Replies latest jw experiences
one sister always shuns me, even when I attend a meeting.
Usually when my hubby receives a card thanking him for all his hard work, love for the congregation etc they also send their love to me and my daughter. But this sister describes me as a tribulation in her card to my hubby. He binned it
But other than that - some shun one week and then the next they're okay.
edit: mind you I haven't been disfellowshipped yet
I remember that a few months after I disassociated myself that we lost a child (a stillbirth). We had many JWs friends we had known in other states call to offer condolences. All of them except one just said: "Can I speak to XXXXX (my wife's name)?" I recognized most of the JWs by their voice and it hurt to realize that they couldn't even offer a simple condolence directly to me. One JW friend did speak to me directly and offer his condolences. But, within a month he suddenly changed and would not speak to me at all either.
I got shunned today in a hardware store.
I was so greatful for this process as I don't want any connection with these people.
I was a witness for around 20 years and was able to fade. That didn't stop an old ''friend'' and neighbour trying to tatally ignore me at a get together my son had. I went up to her to say nice to see you etc. and the woman in a very snobbish way said ''I'm sorry Alan I can't talk to you. Go see the elders'' All my family heard it and couldn't believe her attitude. I simply said that is what happens if you dare disagree with the society.
My son is getting married in August at a kingdom hall and I have told him we don't want trouble makers there. So she is not invited. Hope she gets the point.
I have never been shunned since becoming an inactive jw but I was shunned at the KH. One time we were visiting a KH where hubbie was giving the public talk and certain family members made us chase them around the hall trying to talk to them I had one sister decide to personally mark me and shared her opinion with all her friends. The elders admitted there was no basis for this but refused to say anything rather than offend her wealthy elder husband. So I would say it has improved.
Blondie
I have been shunned several times in nine years. The worst time was at a nonJW relative's gathering after the funeral and my JW BIL walked around to each and every person there, hugged them or shook their hands, and made a big gesture of walking right past me while I was standing there. I let him get about a few yards away from me and said "GOODBYE, XXXXXX" so that everyone could hear. He turned around, ignored me and walked down the path to his car. He was most likely quite proud of himself for being SO obedient to the GB.
I have been at the Post Office, the local Drive In theater, the grocery store, Rite Aid, Walmart, Big Lots and the One Dollar Store when coming across the snubbing and sneering WTS followers. We have a Family Auction house that opens about every six weeks and I sat directly in back of a whole flock of JWs out on a Wed night....that passed right by me several times to get cold drinks and to use the rest rooms....all with their "noses in the air" routines. Living in a small town does have it's disadvantages when everyone knows everyone else's business .
WTS defenders on boards like this....will ask "when will WE ever let it go, get ON with our lives, and stop being so angry with the WTS".....and I have to wonder just when THEY will stop behaving like self-righteous jerks and "let go" of their intense hatred of anyone that does not worship the Watchtowergod as they do.
I've been shunned in a car,
I've been shunned in a Bar,
I've been shunned on the street,
I've been shunned buying meat,
I've been shunned at the store,
I've been shunned on the shore,
I've been shunned on a plane,
I've been shunned on my lane,
I've been shunned on a bus,
and haven't made a fuss.
I've been shunned on a yacht,
See, I get shunned quite a lot.
Everywhere I run,
those Jw's shun,
It's no wonder I can't have any fun!
Josie..Girl,you are going to love this..I was shunned at a liquor store by an elder,with alcohol problems..LOL!!..True story!!..LOL!!...OUTLAW
My fiance and I were at a bagel shop one Saturday morning when a couple of car groups came in for break. They were from my old congregation and would not have known that I left except by gossip. BTW I tell anyone who asks that I left and why I left, yet I'm not DA or DF. The group sat at a big table about 6 feet away from us and were loudly laughing and having a good time when one of the women recognized me and the entire table went silent. They all turned at the same time to stare at me like I had two heads. My fiance, who had never seen shunning in action before, looked at them and asked "WHAT?" they all looked away and then the leader of the groups, an elder if I remember right, went to the counter and the employee looked at us and looked confused, then went over and opened the closed section of the dining area and the entire group moved over there after having sat at their table for 20min+/-.
The employee was cleaning the abandoned table and mentioned to us that the group wanted us to move but he refused to ask us. He then asked why they would do that. I told him that I didn't go to their church anymore so they thought I would corrupt them if they were so close. He laughed and walked away. My fiance made a point of opening doors for me, he usually does but not with such flair, and then planting a big smooch on me as he let me in to the car. I love him. I have to say, this was the biggest snub I received, but it didn't hurt me as much as the first ones.
We were at my brother-in-law's (my wife's non-JW brother) wedding yesterday. My mother-in-law, sister-in-law and her husband (and two young kids) are JWs and they were there too.
We were shunned the most by my sister-in-law, she wouldn't even look in the direction of my wife, she didn't even acknowledge the existence of our 12 week old son (who is, by all standards, absolutely gorgeous, so all the women say. People were making a big fuss of him all day) and at one point - in front of my non-JW father-in-law (who, until that point, did not believe us re. shunning), walked past my wife, shoulder to shoulder, and completely shunned her.
There had been an issue over whether or not we should attend the wedding reception or not. Obviously the two people who actually matter, the bride and groom, wanted us there. We were concerned about 'creating a scene' in that we arrive at the reception and all the JWs, including the groom's mother, get up and leave. My mother-in-law had actually asked us not to attend the reception, to just come to the dance at night instead. My wife had pointed out that, as we have a 12 week old baby, we wouldn't be lingering too long at the dance and that both us and our children were really looking forward to the reception. It was suggested that we send the children to the reception without us...
It was a difficult situation. The JW family members had explained their 'reasonable' position to the bride and groom; if we come to the reception they won't be there. It wouldn't be ideal for the mother-of-the-groom not to be at the wedding, so we decided to bow out.
However, my father-in-law spent 3 weeks pleading with us to come to the reception, that there won't be scene etc etc. We tried to explain, over and over, that we know the Witnesses better than he does, that they will shun us and they will cause a scene if need be and that if anything is said to them about this they will view it as persecution and thus confirmation that they are in the right. He consistently refused to believe us re. shunning, which was really frustrating as he clearly thought we were exaggerating and/or completely off our heads.
Our position was that we would go and see the ceremony, then leave quietly so as not to cause an issue for the JW guests. Obviously, this went completely against the grain as we, like them, were invited guests. However, my father-in-law sat in our home until midnight this Wednesday pleading with us to just come to reception, to turn up a bit later than everyone else and that there won't be a scene. Eventually we relented...
Yesterday arrived, we went to the ceremony, were roundly shunned by my sister-in-law, as already explained. Afterwards the guests walked down to the hotel while we lingered. We eventually arrived at the hotel, but by this time my wife felt it was a bit too upsetting to go into the hotel; she was stunned at how cold her sister was towards her - it really was above and beyond the call of JW duty, IMO. My father-in-law came outside to give us a 'pep talk' and we decided to sit outside the bar with the groom, the best man and a few other guests and have a drink. At the appointed time the guests were called into the reception. Again we lingered. My father-in-law gave us further assurance that his JW wife would not cause a scene if we came into the reception, however, we noticed my sister-in-law and her husband also lingering back. It became like a stand-off; we were waiting until they went upstairs and they were waiting to see if we were going to go upstairs.
My wife nipped off to the loo and my sister-in-law's JW husband (elder) came over to me, followed by my father-in-law, to ask if we were staying. I replied that I was leaving that decision up to my wife. He had a quick look about for her, then headed up to the reception. I asked my father-in-law if he heard what I was asked, and he said that he did. He was starting to look concerned.
My wife reappeared from the loo just as her JW sister was coming back downstairs. She passed shoulder to shoulder, shunned my wife, then turned around and asked if we were staying. My wife asked, "will you leave if we do?". She nodded and said yes. My wife immediately responded in a cheery voice, "that's ok, we'll just go." My father-in-law, sadly, was aghast. His two daughters can't even be in the same room at his son's wedding. How messed up is that? There was no protest from my sister-in-law. My oldest son was already upstairs at the reception, so we got our baby son and our 4 year old daughter, who burst into tears (got so upset she ended up with a nose bleed), and left.
My wife was very relieved that, at last, my father-in-law could see that we weren't lying about the harshness of the shunning policy. Unfortunately, it means that his family is destroyed. Whereas once it was a close family who shared holidays together, met up for meals regularly etc, that would never, ever be able to happen again.
We returned later in the evening for the dance. I was appalled that, at first, it looked like my sister-in-law and her family were actually going to stay! After about half-an-hour, though they left, but not before my 12 year old nephew and 10 year old niece shunning my wife and I several times. Once the JWs left, we actually had a quite a good time. Our kids had a ball and there was no scene from the petulant, persecuted JWs.
