Long time reader.....first time poster (page 3)

happpyexjw

Welcome to both first time posters. You are correct that you will find empathy and support here. The folks here are at various stages of leaving and coming to grips with the fallout that results from leaving the cult. I suggest you read the posts and take some time to figure out what works best for you in your situation since everyone here is coming from a unique set of circumstances. What works for you may be something entirely different or a combination of what others have done.

It is normal to feel confused and betrayed - a feeling that can take quite a while to resolve. As for your wife JWinprotest, my heart goes out to her. She has a double whammy there with a best friend and mom rolled into one. Give her some time to sort things out. Hopefully, she will come to realize the toll this is taking on your little ones and will want to spare them the harm of growing up in an organization based on lies.

Good luck to both of you and keep reading.

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

"my wife and I are both convinced that this is not the truth"

Praise Jah!!!

"At this point we have decided that our children will not be subjected to a JW upbringing"

Praise Jah, you people!

Can you fade faster than your wife? If she's wanting to keep her mom happy, why do you and the kids have to endure such torture?

Oh, and WELCOME!!

B the X

rockmehardplace

welcome. look forward to your posts. interesting how children can make the difference in staying or leaving. we will put up with alot for ourselves, but when it comes to children, we will do anything possible to remove them from a bad situation or one that we find not benefiting them. it is very tough to stay in something you no longer believe in.

sweet pea

Even without being DF/DA'd, having such radically different beliefs about the org can put quite a wedge between a girl and her mother, even if they were once best friends (speaking from experience here). The frustration can be overwhelming at times........

It was having our children that really got us out of the org - if we'd been childfree at the time we could've made a better go at fading but there was no way I was going to stifle the spirit of my children and deprive them of a 'normal' life or be looking over my shoulder the whole time. Even though DF'd my mum sticks by us and we have a great relationship with her, all things considered.

You never know, deep down, your wife's mother could even have some doubts of her own?!

chickpea

welcome

your narrative reads like trying to
live as a jew among nazis...
forbidding your child to sing a
song in the company of those who
reign in your lives as "the ultimate
authority"... how creepy IS that, eh?

speaking as a parent, even when i
was still assimilated into the b0rg,
i never broke my relationship with
my adult children who saw the
real truth about the truth before i did...

still... an unnatural situation
with unnatural consequence...
letting a cult interfere with
a parent/child relationship....

good luck sorting thru it mate!

I quit!

Welcome to the board. Glad to see you here. I agree that you have to count the cost before doing something but I also feel because of your daughter you can't wait too long. Adults can live a double life and get by for a while although I don't think it is good but you will really screw your daughter up if you have her living a double life. It will force her to be a lair and deception will become part of who she is. Just my opinion.

Keep posting. Good to have you here.

I quit!

Welcome to the board. Glad to see you here. I agree that you have to count the cost before doing something but I also feel because of your daughter you can't wait too long. Adults can live a double life and get by for a while although I don't think it is good but you will really screw your daughter up if you have her living a double life. It will force her to be a lair and deception will become part of who she is. Just my opinion.

Keep posting. Good to have you here.

Rocky_Girl

Welcome. This is a great place for support as you decide what is best for your family. It was my kids that were the turning point for me, also. I did not want to make them suffer through school for a religion I did not believe and could not, in good faith, teach to them.

I found that the more I talk about my issues with the people on this forum and other friends, the less emotional and more concise I am when talking to my family that are still 'in.' This has made my fade a lot easier and has kept the lines of communication open with my mom.

Angie

besty

sounds a lot like sweet pea and I's story - family on both sides still in but our babies that prompted us to get out.

we got DF in the end - a clean break has much less chance of infection if you ask me ;-)

leavingwt

and ya.....this is a support site...NOT an apostate site.....

It is my opinion that these two are not mutually exclusive.

I am an apostate in every sense of the word. This doesn't mean that I cannot help provide support to others.

This site meets the WT definition of "apostate", for sure. It would also meet the following dictionary definition: "A person who renounces a religion or faith."

I must assume, Oompa, that you're referring to a different definition of the word "apostate".

Let's define our words so that they do not become meaningless. OK?

Long time reader.....first time poster

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