CANTLEAVE- I hear what you are saying. I started on here over 2 years ago and I've learned more from links to information I've read about mind control in books which cleared many issues up for me that I NEVER had answered in 44 years as a witness. Incredible. Because of being under what Steve Hassan called " Information control" - I was only allowed to see this information once outside the witnesses ! It takes awhile for the guilt and fear to subside but the more we read and educate ourselves it becomes easier in time. Hang in there , you are doing good. It just takes time. Peace out, Mr. Flipper
Have you Overcome " Fear " and " Guilt " Instilled in us by the Witnesses ?
by flipper 41 Replies latest jw friends
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OUTLAW
Good Evening Flipper..I never felt guilt........Fear I got over a long time ago...........Now,I do my best to help posters on the board get over thier fears..
Lets face it......The WBT$ is a Farce..
.....LOL!!...OUTLAW
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Scarred for life
I haven't felt fear and guilt in decades. I was over that pretty quickly after I went to my last meeting.
I struggle more with anger and resentment at my parents and WTBS and just JWs in general especially extended family.
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Black Sheep
I struggle more with anger and resentment at my parents and WTBS and just JWs in general especially extended family.
I have trouble with that too.
I know that they are just as much victims as I was, but they were still the perpetrators of everything they did to me.
....and then I let it happen to my to my kids....
Sometimes I wish there was a Bible God so that I could burn in hell for my stupidity in letting my wife (who I turned into an Apostate Anglican) bring my kids up in the same cult that I couldn't bring myself to join.
So.....
.....C'mon Jehovah....
......Drag your sorry arse out of bed and kill me....
I've been waiting for years.....and years.....and years.....and years.....and years.....and years.....and years
I'm here....
Where are you????????
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flipper
OUTLAW- I hear you. I never felt guilt for stopping either. And also got over the fear pretty quickly. You are right- the WT society is a farce - so all the more reason to keep helping people see the exposure of the WT society ! Glad you do it too ! Keep it up !
SCARRED FOR LIFE- Glad you got over the fear and guilt a long time ago. I understand the resentment towards family still JW's it can be maddening sometimes. Just remember- they're all crazy and mind controlled. We are not. Don't know if that helps- just a thought. Keep your chin up.
BLACK SHEEP- I think " Jehovah " still wants to sleep and stay in bed. LOL! I hear you on witness family still in. It's a tough gig to deal with guy. I deal with it myself. I'm trying to reach out to one of my witness daughters ( 22 yrs.old ) and help her feel my authentic caring. We'll see what happens. Just gotta keep trying. Hang in there
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vikesgirl101
I overdosed twice last year, due to guilt. I felt too unworthy to live. It makes me feel psychotic to think about it now. But I had to start seeing a therapist. She was initally leery of a JW client. But I stripped myself of all the things that were making me mentally sick. I was better without meds. My husband was a controller, and the borg, well they were always what they have been. But I pulled away from all that and started fresh. My therapist told me to look into recovering JW's. It was great to find others JUST LIKE ME: struggling. Then one day it hit me that I apologize for everything. I stopped that. Some things are beyond my control. I had to realize that. The guilt still lingers, but I have a second voice now that tells me to move forward, and not look back. I think it is my confidence being born.
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flipper
VIKESGIRL 101- I'm so sorry you overdosed last year. I do hope you are recovering and feeling better friend. I'm glad you started seeing a therapist and this therapist is helping you work through the guilt you were feeling. You and I and other ex-JW's had no control on whether we picked the witnesses. Many of us were born -ins had no choice. And those of us that joined when older were " co-erced" by trickiness and cult mind control. You are right- you have nothing to apologize for. None of us do. We were all tricked by mind control artists. The main thing is to confidently look to the future with a new life, new positive attitude- and it sounds like you are doing that very well ! Keep the good work up ! It will pay off for you
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vikesgirl101
Flipper: I just love your posts. It is like being wrapped in a big hug. I love how you acknowledge everyone on the board, and are so encouraging.
You are right, I did not have a choice; most of us didn't have a choice. We were born under the ill fate of being in a JW family. You are not allowed to question doctrines, or to choose a different path. A friend of mine told me that some stricter religions allow their teenagers to have one year to decide what path to follow. I think it was Menonites, but I am not sure. There are no questions asked, as to what they decide in the end. I wish my fade could have been that pleasant. It is easy to feel like a hideous beast when your blood relatives scatter like termites, afraid that they might catch "The Apostate diesease" if they acknowlege you.
As far as the overdose, I learned that suicidal tendancies are common in people trying to leave the BORG. I choose to count it as a rite of passage, at this point, and a dark time that is to be overcome. No use wallowing in it. Life is too splendid to not enjoy to the fullest!!
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flipper
VIKESGIRL 101- Thanks for the kind words. I appreciate it. The fact that we and other witnesses were NOT allowed to question doctrine is one reason many of us ( myself included) don't find out the real truth about the alleged " truth " until we exit the organization. In the 6 years I've been out - I can't believe all the research and information available to us on the internet and books written by cult exit counselors and people like Ray Franz in " Crisis of Conscience " . It really helps finding out WHAT happened to us so we understand. I'm so glad you have a positive attitude and are doing better ! Keep the great work up ! We are pulling for you
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OnTheWayOut
I was a bit paranoid when I first started posting here and had to get over that. But I think I had totally overcome my fear of displeasing God or getting destroyed long before I ever stopped going to meetings.
My awakening was most greatly, a matter of doctrine. I learned that the WTS was teaching falsehoods and errors, so I learned that "Jehovah" would not be holding me accountable for not following anything WTS was teaching. It was that simple.
The paranoia was from getting "caught" and being DF'ed. Well, as time goes on, that becomes less and less of a concern. It could still happen. I would still be upset that I might be shunned by my mother. But I must live my life and hope that doesn't occur. If it does, I recognize already that the WTS holds no power over me. I will be okay.