DIM's sister gets busted!

by DIM 28 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  DIM

  it seems my mom was snooping around my sisters room and happened to come across her diary. My sister is 14 years old and unbaptized. My mom decided to read this diary. In it, my sister described trying pot and trying smoking....instead of handling this within the family (overlooking that fact that this was a gross invasion of privacy) my parents dragged her before a committee. Apparently (according to my mom) the one elder was screaming at my sister "if you were baptized we'd disfellowship you!" and all sorts of stuff. My dad was sitting there and approved of this. It also seems that my sister wrote in her diary "my brother ____ isn't in "the truth" anymore. He doesn't believe any of it - I can tell" This caused great distress to my mom and she called my apt. all frantic and stuff. I just blew her off. The two things that are driving me nuts are: (1) the emotional damage that is going to happen to my sister and (2) the fact that this happened to me 9 years ago in October, 1992. Why should a 14 year old girl be dragged before the elders? Why does the WTS claim that illegal drugs invite demons in, but other, stronger and legal drugs do not? Trying pot 3 times doesn't make my sister a criminal. I really really am getting angrier every day.

  i'm sick and tired of hearing things from uptight-short-sighted-narrow minded hypocritics. all i want is the truth just gimme some truth - John Lennon
• 

  joelbear

  Hi Dim,

  First, I'm terribly sorry that your sister's privacy was violated. The results of that are likely to be much more powerful psychologically than any of the other events. Your mother will not realize maybe for years that she, with that one act, forever altered her relationship with her daughter.

  The important thing for you to do is assure your sister of her self worth and let her know that everyone makes missteps.

  I do personally consider drug use a misstep.

  More than likely their intense pressure on her will drive her away from the witnesses sooner rather than later.

  Take care and give your sister a big hug.

  Joel
• 

  neyank

  Hi DIM,
  Why oh why does it happen over and over again that JW parents
  give their God given rights and resposibilities to strangers to guide and teach their children?

  Are they not capable of deciding for themselves how to handle this situation?

  One good thing that can happen because of this is that your sister will decide for herself not to get baptised and get away from these people(jws) as soon as she's old enough to.

  neyank
• 

  gumby

  Hey Dim. Sorry for your situation. Your mother should have followed the bibles advice and not ran to the elders. The bible says if your brother commits a sin....go to your brother...if he listens...you gain your brother. She did as all dubs do....go tell on them!
  She broke a bond with your sis that will be remembered by your sis forever.How would your mom feel if your sis would have peeked at her private things? She would be in trouble.
  Hope all turns out well for you and that you keep a christlike attitude about it all.
• 

  avengers

  History repeats itself over and over. Why people don't learn from it baffles me at times. All in all; don't blame anyone but the leaders of the WT who concocted this whole indoctrination.
  There we have to keep chiseling. We will win, but as I see, not without victims. Keep your head up.

  "Few are they that look through their own eyes and feel with their own heart"
  A Einstein
• 

  Yerusalyim

  Personally, I'm not at all upset by the so-called invasion of privacy. Had the parents of the Columbine killers been a little more proactive in invading the privacy of their kids perhaps more than a dozen people would still be alive. HOW your folks handled the information they recieved is dispicable. (check spelling on that last word).

  Turn the tale a bit. Had your sister committed suicide instead of trying pot, and their were indications in her diary that she was seriously contemplating suicide, or mass murder, we'd all be up in arms that the clues were there in the diary your parents didn't care enough to look into it.

  Just my unhumble opinion.

  YERUSALYIM
  "Vanity! It's my favorite sin!"
  [Al Pacino as Satan, in "DEVIL'S ADVOCATE"]
• 

  Mulan

  If your mother was suspicious of your sister, then her searching for a diary can be somehow justified, but she could have handled it better. If she wasn't suspicious, and just came across it, she has violated a huge trust between a mother and daughter, and I doubt she will ever get that back. She smoked pot 3 times? Come on......it isn't the crime of the century. Wasn't your mother ever a teenager?

  I feel very bad for your sister, and I hope she can lean on you for support. I have a feeling she will need you very much.

  Marilyn (a.k.a. Mulan)
  
• 

  Yerusalyim

  Modifying my above statements to more closely resemble those of Miss Mulan. I tip my hat to ya girlie.

  YERUSALYIM
  "Vanity! It's my favorite sin!"
  [Al Pacino as Satan, in "DEVIL'S ADVOCATE"]
• 

  joelbear

  I disagree with reading somebody's diary.

  If the parents of the Colombine killers had had a better relationship with their children then they could have talked with them and the boys would probably never have gotten so far with their bad thoughts.

  If Dim's sister's mother had suspisions about drug use then she should have opened warm and deep communication with her about it.

  My parents found out lots of things about me by finding stuff in my room and in my private papers.

  They never once sat down and had a kind open discussion with me about my life, my goals, my viewpoints, my terrors.

  So sad that they only way a parent thinks they can get accurate information on their kids is by spying. That is probably true if they have a distant or nonexistent relationship with their kids.

  They sure as heck ain't gonna fix that by reading private writings and then screaming at them about it.

  It takes lots and lots of time to get to know someone, this includes your kids. Reading a diary to "catch up" on someone is a cheat.

  Joel
• 

  Yerusalyim

  Joel,

  Do you actually HAVE kids? No matter how close the relationship, kids almost NEVER confide with their parents. I was close to my folks yet they didn't know Half of what I was about. I have a close relationship with my kids, yet my 13 year old son has pulled away from me. It's a natural part of the growing up process. He confides with his friends much more than his parents because of this drive to be independent. If I see unusual activity, his room is getting raided. I'll read the scribbles he puts down in his note book.

  YERUSALYIM
  "Vanity! It's my favorite sin!"
  [Al Pacino as Satan, in "DEVIL'S ADVOCATE"]