One thing I will say is don't try to overtly confront her desire to be a JW again. This will probably backfire on you.
df'd and assemblies.
by ptrehearn152 81 Replies latest social relationships
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quietlyleaving
hi queitlyleaving, she is happy with the access that she has with her boys as they, and her know that she is free to go there anytime and they are most welcome in our home, i think it's just a case of her wanting to go back to being a jw again.
thats great that her relationship with her boys is alright.
I have been out for 2 years now and can understand the pull of certain aspects of JWism. I like the idea of being able to come and go with no strings attached but one has to be sure of oneself to do that as there is a lot of inbuilt coercion in their writings, meetings and way of life. Steve Hasan's books "Combatting Mind Control" and "Releasing the bonds of Cult Control" maybe worth a browse so that you are aware of the mechanisms of control.
Guilt and shame seem to have a natural affinity even with the strongest personalities when it is dished out in huge frequent doses.
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MidwichCuckoo
hi midwichcuckoo we are due to be married next month.
As you're living together (unmarried), she won't be able to apply for reinstatement until after your marriage. The Watchtower discourages marrying 'outsiders', and although you may respect her beliefs it is unlikely that she will respect yours (sorry).
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ptrehearn152
i refer the following statemend i made earlier and the one you made nameless one
"You said that you "strongly believe that everyone in this world has the absolute right to free speech and the freedom of reasonable arguement and to choose what we believe in and how we do it" -- well unfortunately the WTS doesn't believe that AT ALL. You will not receive the same respect and tolerance in return, and that is putting it mildly".
this is EXACTLY why i said it, i am truly sorry for my next statement and it is NOT aimed at anyone on here, i deal only with the truth and i say things as it is i mentioned earlier about clever answers from jw's to protect their faith, well i don't and won't take any crap from anyone and if i think someone is talking rubbish then i will say so.
what i am looking for here clear concise suggestions. i had a question in my mind that needed to asked so that i may judge for myself and i really do thank you all very much for your replies, i am also in your debt for supply info that i find difficult to get from elsewhere without someone being biast one way or another so please keep it coming, it' very helpful.
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reniaa
hi ptre
note the bias is there on here, you see for yourself that your wifes ex and children don't shun because the relationship ties allow personal choice on contact in or outside the family home. So you see exageration for your benefit which you got to see isn't true from first hand experience.
You believe in freewill? well your wife is choosing the religion of her own freewill? Do you respect that choice? if it is just to see more of her kids you may not see her becoming a Jw again. the path to reinstatement is about repentence of your previous wrongdoings and restablishing your commitment to Jehovah and his son and the words of the bible.
Reniaa
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Black Sheep
Just so that you know what you are up against, you should read this article on their website. Hopefully, your partner wouldn't do this.
http://www.watchtower.org/e/20070201/article_01.htm
Note this bit:
What example did Jesus Christ set in this regard? On one occasion, Jesus was conversing with some unbelievers who showed interest in his travel plans. “Pass on over from here and go into Judea,” they advised him. What was Jesus’ reply? “You go up to the festival [in Jerusalem]; I am not yet going up to this festival, because my due time has not yet fully come.” Shortly thereafter, Jesus did travel to Jerusalem for the festival. Why did he answer that way? They were not entitled to know the exact details of his whereabouts. So while Jesus did not utter an untruth, he gave them an incomplete answer in order to limit the possible harm they could do to him or to his followers. This was not a lie, for the apostle Peter wrote about Christ: “He committed no sin, nor was deception found in his mouth.”—John 7:1-13; 1 Peter 2:22.
Other Bible based cults use the same scriptures and logic to protect themselves.
All cults have a policy similar to this. If they think you are a threat, or are 'undeserving of hearing the truth', there is a strong disincentive from the leadership to tell you any.
Chris
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Black Sheep
you see for yourself that your wifes ex and children don't shun because the relationship ties allow personal choice that even allows this outside the family home. So you see exageration for your benefit which you got to see isn't true from first hand experience.
This a prime example of JW Speak. I have lost count of how many times my family have used this trick on me.
Ren is using the example of someone who is breaking the WT's rules to give you an example that attempts to make the rules look flexible and less cultish than they are.
Compare what she said to what the official website said.
Naughty girl Ren, That'll be 6 Hail Marys, please.
Cheers
Chris
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The-Borg
hi ptre
note the bias is there on here, you see for yourself that your wifes ex and children don't shun because the relationship ties allow personal choice on contact in or outside the family home. So you see exageration for your benefit which you got to see isn't true from first hand experience.
You believe in freewill? well your wife is choosing the religion of her own freewill? Do you respect that choice? if it is just to see more of her kids you may not see her becoming a Jw again. the path to reinstatement is about repentence of your previous wrongdoings and restablishing your commitment to Jehovah and his son and the words of the bible.
Reniaa
My sister in law is completely shunned by her siblings, when they come to the house she has to go and stay in her bedroom until they leave. No bias just plain cold facts I've see with my own eyes.
Not all witnesses behave like this, that is true. But it is encouraged. The more zealous die hard witnesses usually enforce rules to the letter of the law.
As I said earlier, go to the Kingdom Hall where she was disfellowshipped from with her one Sunday and you will see shunning up close and personal.
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ptrehearn152
reniaa, let me make this absolutely clear, she is totally free to make her own mind up as to what she wants to do, i would sooner her be happy doing what she wants to do, yes the word bias is there and for a reason. for example if she chooses to go back to jwism i want her to do so because it's what she wants NOT what someone else wants her to do, i believe that if you are a believer in any faith you should follow it for your own reasons, you should never be sold something that you don't want. i don't follow any faith because i choose not to but that does not mean i don't respect those that do
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awildflower
Ok I just have to say this. Reniaa said things like: "she will only deal with the elders for now......" How loving does that sound. Then she said: "she could be reinstated by as early as six months........" Repentence is something intirely up to this woman and God. And I bet you a billion dollars God and her are ok. Without realizing it Reniaa you just proved that this whole df thing is man-made with those statements. Thank you for showing ptrehearn152 that info straight from an active jw. And yes, ptrehearn152, when the "elders deal with her" your not going to like it.
ptrehearn152, as much as you love this woman, if she is even thinking about heading back in the jw direction for whatever reason, you are in for some problems to say the very least. It wont be as easy as just 'let her do her thing' and you'll be there to support her. Although that is very loving on your part be prepared for some heartache. It's just the way it is in this jw world. There are tons of experiences on this board to confirm that. Reaching out here was a good thing for you though. Welcome!........wf