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JWinprotest

Oh forgot to mention that underground parking was off limits for the ordinary publishers like us.

rebel8

You don't owe anyone an explanation as to why you are participating or not participating in any religious practice at all.

It is against social etiquette to ask people probing questions about private matters like that.

jws ignore this and keep doing what's rude. Keep your meter set to "normal" and let them be the abberation, without you taking the bait.

"Why haven't you been to meetings?"

"Oh thanks for your concern. Did you hear about that car crash the other day?"

"Yeah but why haven't you been to meetings?"

"Oh thanks for your concern. Have you been to that new restaurant around the corner?"

"Yeah but why haven't you been to meetings?"

"Oh thanks for your concern. Private matters. Have you been to that new restaurant around the corner? I hear they make a great Eggplant Parmesan, and homemade cannoli."

"Yeah but why haven't you been to meetings?"

"Oh thanks for your concern. Some matters are private and I wouldn't even dream of discussing them with you. Have you ever tried to make Eggplant Parmesan? I just love it at this time of year when the tomatoes are fresh."

(broken record technique)

Vinny

Finchandweston asks: "A question to the experienced faders : what do you say if you run into elders? "

**** I disassociated a little over three years ago, but my wife has faded since about that same time because she hoped to have some relationship with her son and brother.

She has run into elders several times (and some have stopped by to visit her at our biz location) who then sometimes try to get into issues. She has a a few very simple replies for them:

"I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT".

"I DON'T HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH SO I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT".

"IF I SAY WHAT'S ON MY MIND I'LL END UP LIKE MY HUSBAND SO I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT".

"I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT".

It has worked very well for her. Simple and to the point while making a statement in and of itself.

Though after a few years now she's getting to the point where she just doesn't care anymore.

After all, her son shuns her anyway and her brother does most of the time (and his wife does all the time).

They have been completely brainwashed and very unloving.

What's so funny is that for both of us when we see somebody doing the shunning deal and avoiding us it does not move either of us to go back at all.

Quite the opposite in fact!

Hope it helps. Welcome to the JWN. Best of luck to you!

Vinny

mouthy

Wonderful to have you join us.F&W!!! Welcome aboard.
I went to Montreal as a JW & was surprised to see a brother with a beard,

( as it was not allowed then) & being the nosy person I am
I asked him how come? He told me he had a skin problem & was allowed
by "mother" to cover it up..Being the stupid one I was( & probably still am)
I believed him, LOL
Hope you havent thrown the baby out with the Bath water though
Http://exjw.weebly.com/ Grace Gough, Mouthy/Granny/ on board

they put up with me because I am old LOL

FinchAndWeston

yeah, i never understood how some seats were 'reserved' before 8:00am at DCs. I used to line up at 7:30am, which was late by JW standards, btw, to get "decent seats". i found the whole situation untheocratic. my wife and i used to hope and pray they would change the situation so that families with multiple kids got the aisles either by assignment or by "brotherly love". sigh. i needed the whole morning program to recover from the seating fiasco.

then there was the 2pm stretch on sunday. please tell me i wasn't the only one that just had to nod off for at least an hour. why would they choose the most monotonic bro's for that time slot! ppl, please! by sunday at 2, the coffee long ran out, you were tired and exhasted from already 3 days ... seriously!

in the end, you could always catch up on the latest JW buzz at the next service meeting, making the whole situation of going to DCs kinda pointless, for me, anyways.

DaCheech

i there, kids ad assemblies are a big hardship. i know

FinchAndWeston

thanks for the words of encouragement. nice to know i'm not alone. when i was DF'ed, it was horrible. first time out in the 'world', no friends to speak of as most were from the cong. i had some 'worldly' friends, but i used to hate calling them 'worldly' - as they had some sort of disease or somthing. lol. labeling is a technique religions use to create in-groups/out-groups and a sense of alienation - "us versus them". i considered my non-jw friends better than some JW friends cuz when the chips were down, they were there, not the jw's.

mind you, i did make some really awesome friends in the JWs and I would be lying if i said i didn't miss them, even now. i came back, but found it was not the same. everyone treats you like a 'use-to-be-DF'ed' and it's a label you never lose. sigh.

mouthy, religilously speaking, i threw out the 'baby, the water and the tub' when i decided to fade.

i've been reading a lot, thinking a lot and generally experiencing life for the first time. i need to clear out the old before i bring in the new. dunno where i'll be in 5 to 10 years, and i'm perfectly fine with that.

besty

hi F&W - welcome to JWN and to the rest of your life :-)))

an assembly was actually the last meeting sweet pea and I ever went to. we had a torrid time with a 2 year old who could not sit quietly and 2 month old who needed all our attention.

I had known the truth about the troof for some time beforehand but chose that weekend to enlighten my wife with the help of freeminds, jwfacts and jwd as it was then.

48 hrs later and all our litteratrash was where it belonged and we never went back. About 4 months later we were happy to be DF'd for apostasy as we are now free and clear to live normally - being shunned by my ahrdline family is a price worth paying.

good luck with the exit however it works out for you - if you do want to fade completely and do Christmas birthdays wife-swapping etc it may be an idea to move house at some point - DF/DA and it doesn't matter where you live.

manicmama

Hi F&W!

I don't post a lot here but like you every morning (or waking minute!) read the board. My husband and I were both "born in's" and he was being groomed for the ms & elder programs. I however never bought into the whole thing and found this board along with others and confirmed ALL of my doubts and began sharing them with my hubby. Needless to say we started a fade but my MIL thought that this was all my idea (where did she get that?) and sent the dear little elders to speak to me. I have always been rather outspoken ( not good JW wife material) and when they came to my door one afternoon asking the questions I knew to be of disfellowshipping material I simply said that "that is a long story, one which I do not wish to discuss at this time. They accecpted this and did not hassle me, of course it helped that I had a rather large dog at the time that would not allow them to enter my home (good dog! I sure miss her!) They have never been back! They tried calling several times, I simply did not answer the phone. One elder tried numerous times to "help" my husband at his place of business, even so far as to say that the end would come by the end of the year (2008). Hum, wonder why he hasn't been back since than?

leftbelow

Welcome and there are a lot of great people here who can help with many questions.

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