Atomahawk and calico, your comments are spot-on, and pretty much identical to what my wife was telling me last night when we were discussing this. The hard part is in discerning how much I should answer her questions and when I should just tell her she's wearing me out and I don't want to talk about it anymore. It's frustrating because she's always questioning my motives. In this last email she sent (I haven't posted it) she says my heart is "treacherous" and that I'm probably just using all sorts of excuses to explain my real motivations (which, of course, must be to lead a life of sin and vice). So no, I don't think she really respects me as an adult. THat I could possible know what's best for me is a concept she will never comprehend, I think.
However, there is a promising component of this, and that is she is now asking me if she has ever "spiritually manipulated" me, and "oh, how awful it would be if that were the case and woe is me id never be able to live with myself." On one hand, she is clearly fishing, while on the other hand I do percieve some small bit of tacit acknowledgement that she may, in fact, have contributed to my mistrust in her and the JW religion.