**** Some people don't teach their children manners. Grrr. ****

by FlyingHighNow 277 Replies latest jw friends

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  Scully

  cognizant dissident writes:

  "Good manners" are really an individual and cultural construct which differ from area to area. We cannot just assume that there is some "correct" manner of acting out there that all human beings should subscribe to just because we do.

  Well said.

  I know that I'm raising my children a LOT differently than I was raised, because like language, manners have evolved over the years. While I expect them to say "please" and "thank you" and to wait their turn when turns are being taken, they are also learning skills that I was never taught: assertiveness, to speak up when they disagree (even when it's an adult they disagree with), and to resolve conflict by negotiation rather than passive acquiescence. I have taught them to open doors for and give up their seat to the elderly, the disabled, people carrying heavy loads, pregnant women and parents with children in tow.

  As far as I'm concerned, an able-bodied woman of the 21st century - especially one who is by all accounts my "equal" - can open a door, stand on her own two feet or find another place to sit. Goodness knows we've fought for equality for decades, and yet we complain when men have "double standards", so let's not have our own double standards and expect deference and special privileges because of our gender.

  Oh, and while I'm at it, good netiquette requires post titles to be non-attention seeking, i.e., no ******** etc to make them stand out vs. other titles, a practice for which you are well known, FHN. Not that I really give a crap, but since you are so focused on being mannerly, please keep up with the trends.
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  ssn587

  I see in appropriate behavior even at the KH's. I for one don't answer if not addressed by name, my name is neither sister or brother, its either Sir, Mr. Mrs. if any child doesn't use that I don't acknowledge their existence and won't speak with them. I have a name and or a title and I won't answer to anything less polite.
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  Scully

  ssn587 writes:

  I see in appropriate [sic] behavior even at the KH's. I for one don't answer if not addressed by name, my name is neither sister or brother, its either Sir, Mr. Mrs. if any child doesn't use that I don't acknowledge their existence and won't speak with them. I have a name and or a title and I won't answer to anything less polite.

  If you assume that people understand your expectations, without telling them what they are, then I'm afraid people are going to regard you as the one lacking in manners, or aloof and snobbish. It is accepted practice at Kingdom Halls for children to address adults as Brother or Sister So-and-so, unless there is a close friendship and children have been allowed to call an adult by their first name. At a certain level of maturity, older children may address adults by their first name.

  It's time to wake up and smell the century. This is no longer a world where children are seen and not heard. Your standards are considered archaic and reek of disdain and disrespect for children.
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  Big Tex

  Josie, the kids weren't impolite, but the mother was instilling in them selfishness

  Spot on. The least she could have done was let you sit in a chair. If she has that many children, she should have been the one in the children's section.

  When Jennie and Jackson were little we went to the library all the time, I never sat anywhere but in the kids section of the library. But yeah FHN, you did the best thing. There's no need to make a scene over something so little.

  I'd have been tempted though to say something to one of the libriarians, just innocently asking if it is usual procedure to give an entire section of seating to folks who won't sit there.
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  FlyingHighNow

  Oh, and while I'm at it, good netiquette requires post titles to be non-attention seeking, i.e., no ******** etc to make them stand out vs. other titles, a practice for which you are well known, FHN. Not that I really give a crap, but since you are so focused on being mannerly, please keep up with the trends.

  I put asterisks and @@ on my subject lines so I can find them easily. Lol. When the old JWD was really rocking, your own threads would disappear from current topics so quickly, it was the easiest way to locate my own topics on a fast day. I still do it because I can open the topics and zeron right in on mine. Never occurred to me to do it to get your attention. Asterisks won't grab someone's interest. They'll either want to open your thread or not based on your subject.

  I taught my children that they were never to sit in a chair when someone over college age needed a seat. Adults shouldn't have to go sit in the children's section on tiny furniture, made for kids, when there is a place for adults to sit in the adult section of the library. The woman could have fit all of her children on the sofa. Instead, she commandeered the entire adult section. I hope the mother went home and nervously pondered it all afternoon.
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  FlyingHighNow

  It's time to wake up and smell the century. This is no longer a world where children are seen and not heard. Your standards are considered archaic and reek of disdain and disrespect for children.

  I love to hear children speak. But just as with adults, I expect them to show some concern for others and to be polite. In this situation, I don't blame the children. I blame the mother.

  Manners/etiquitte such as placing your silverware a certain way may not be so important. But having obnoxious children, especially children who are being trained to be obnoxious, just may be the "trend." But that doesn't make the trend a good trend.
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  mraimondi

  this is why AK's need to continue to be legal
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  FlyingHighNow

  this is why AK's need to continue to be legal

  Well, that's a little harsh. But I think the parents who don't teach these kids any better than to have some common sense manners might need to be required to take parenting classes. Otherwise the kids are going to learn the hard way when someone other than parents smacks them upside the head or worse.
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  villabolo

  "this is why AK's need to continue to be legal"

  I believe mraimondi is referring to his fear of what those children will grow up to be, especially if there is a social collapse. I don't think he was thinking about shooting the children.

  villabolo
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  Finally-Free

  Lately I've had several young women offer me their seats on the subway during the rush hour. I was pleasantly surprised, because I had long believed that manners were a thing of the past.

  Then I became concerned. Do I really look that old and feeble?

  Either way, I appreciate the gesture.

  W