by cognac 89 Replies latest jw friends
hello to the spouse!
just adding that, in deep
and agonizing distress over
my developing distance
from the WTS, i prayed
and begged jah to reveal
his will to me so that i could
feel his love and return it
weirdest quirk and turning
of the worm led me here...
life has seldom been as sweet
as it is now.... and mate, do i
have an interesting and challenging life
Well, TECHNICALLY, when you're going to sites behind your spouse's back knowing they wouldn't appreciate it...that's not nice either. So where do you draw the line?
Maybe someone could start a separate thread on that subject.
Hello everyone and thank-you for your thoughtful replies! DJK and homeschool. I am not going behind his back to post hear. He knows I come here. And he also knows that he is welcome to spy on me anytime he would like! Every relationship is different where each partner typically knows what will offend the other partner and so they don't do those things. In this case, he knew that I wouldn't be offended and curiousity got the better of him! It's all good!
I like the name for him, "with coke and ice"! That's cute! Hubby, if you read this - pick that name if you sign up!
Awakened at Gilead - I told hubby about you. Don't remember, what year did you graduate Gilead?
Well, update on hubby: He didn't go out in service today. He will probably go out just tomorrow. I think he's a bit nervous about this site right now with him trying to focus on what he believes is the right thing to be doing. I'm sure curiousity will get the better of him and he will be back soon.
That's a good sign, cognac.
and he will be back soon.
I sure hope so. Hubby if you do return...I am praying for you!!!!
remember who said HE was the WAY! TRUTH! LIFE!????
& HIS Father said "LISTEN TO MY SON" so just ask HIm for truth.
Well, this post is for my hubby:
Dear hubby,
I want you to know that I love you very much. You wonder why I go on this site so often. Well, you already know how I feel about the society. I've been thinking about your question a real lot lately. I guess I just had to dig deep inside of me to figure it out. And, now that I have done that, you don't want to talk about it because you feel I'm an apostate and I will stumble you further. So, if you read this, you will now know.
The apostle Paul said to keep searching that you are in the truth. Yet, I am not free to do that. I am not allowed to have my own thoughts, opinions, even questions. I fear rejection by you constantly. Every time that you talk to you about any sort of spiritual issues, I am constantly walking on eggshells. I should be free to talk to you about whatever I want without this constant fear over me. I feel that you are allowed to have any feelings regarding spirituality and I am not. I feel I can't really be open with any of my family otherwise I will be cast out. I feel like I have to always hide in a corner.
You've asked why am I not more open about it? Why are a lot of people on this board hiding who they really are? Because they are in the exact same situation I am in. When I tried to tell my father even a little bit of how I felt, it almost tore the entire family apart. I didn't talk to my parents or sister for four months. My little brother didn't talk to my older sister for months because of it and I almost ended up in a JC. I almost lost my entire family. We were at eachothers throats constantly and it could have wrecked our relationship unless I backed down and stopped talking. So, I did. I got backed into a corner and forced to conform to ideals that go directly against my conscience before God. I had a decision to make. Nothing had an outcome I wanted.
I guess because of that, it makes me even more bitter towards this religion. I feel because of that, this religion is coming in between us. All I want is for it to be out of my way with my relationship with you. I want to have a clean conscience and little by little I work on that everyday. I wish you could even try and understand why this bothers me so much. Why it breaks my heart. Why it tries every day to break my spirit and every day I have to work on not letting it. I try and stay positive. I try to say little things without offending you thinking to myself, "Maybe todays the day he will understand."
Sometimes this is a real torture for me. I wish you understood why this bothers me so much. I don't know what else really to say, so I guess I will end it by telling you that I love you. If I didn't, there would be no reason for me to try so hard, no reason for me to really care.
Love always,
Cognac
Give her a hug, bud. She needs you.
What a heartfelt letter! I understand what you are saying because I get the same reactions out of my family that you do.
Cognac, that letter is beautiful.
She loves you, Man. And believe it or not, we on the forum do, too.
Love,
Baba.
Thank-you Baba, white, and black... I got to read the letter to him, he said that "It sounds like you are in a rut." This can be really heart wrenching sometimes...
