What's the best way to reason with and help your wife to give up her JW religion?

lifelong humanist

I DAd myself 6 years ago, and was quite surprised that my wife (of 38 years) did not follow suit. Perhaps this is because her father and brother are still active JWs, and she doesn't want them to shun HER the way that they have done to me.

So, my wife is still a JW, albeit losing interest in her religion. As far as I know, she doesn't even go door to door anymore. Missing meetings is not a big deal.

In my efforts to 'free' her, I can't easily decide the best course to take, so what do you discerning posters think - would discussing with her the ever changing views of previously held core beliefs - i.e., 1914, the 'generation', 1975, vascetomies, blood fractions, the escalating number that claim to be of the 'annointed', etc. be a good approach to take?

Or, do you think that the 'new light' versus 'old light' scenario might work better?

Alternatively, do you think it would be better to try to help via my humanist's 'common sense approach' to the situation that all humans find themselves in, regardless of holding any religious belief, no matter how extreme that might be?

What other ideas do you have that I might utilise to try and help? Any considered thoughs would be apprreciated.

JimmyPage

Yeah. Any ideas? Same boat here.

knows better

you can't .. as a former member you should know that. what did it for you? was it something someone said? or did you decide for yourself to look into things? they are proggramed to expect people talking badly about them and it inforces the fact they are the only true religion. its a long ride and it may never end. but i think you already know that. love her for who she is and hope for the best. pray if you beleive it will help, but theres no silver bullet. if there is please let me know...

Mr. Majestic

If she is having doubts then you need to work on these, so just openly talking to her would be best I would think (if you can). I would say that you really need to take it slowly as well, being that you have no cover as to what you wish for her. Sounds like she is in a very hard position so you might have to be gentle and patient with her and let her come to the conclusions herself with as little help from you as possible. With family in whom she loves and would shun her if she left I can’t see that she is going to change all that quickly from where she is now.

Wishing you the best…..

Hope4Others

For me all the experiences of abuse hit me hard, at first I did not want to hear about the doctrine. But as time went on all the things he said I finally started to ask questions then I was away..

undercover

I'll let you know when I succeed...

daniel-p

Step carefully, don't rush it, is all I can say.

insearchoftruth

Have tried lots of things myself, not sure what will work. Some days I seem to making progress, then two steps back.....I think showing unconditional love is very important, but quite difficult when not shown in return, because the org comes first......

I try to ask questions, there are some good ones on this board. Make her aware of strange little nuances that she may not know about, for example I asked her how the bible supports the selection of the JWs as the true religion in 1919......she said she will need to talk to her study sister for that....

Tuesday has some really good 'tough questions for JWs', not all of them will apply in every situation, but they have helped me do a bit of thinking here and there and formalate some ideas.

One thing I found that does not work, and was warned against this and tried it anyway, is a full assault against the doctrines....bible ping pong does not work when one has had critical thinking skills diminished........

Best of luck, hope we get some more ideas here and develop this thread....

JimmyPage

My wife seems to have lost interest in field service as well.

Since she's pregnant I've been thinking about showing her the recent USA Today article about JW women being more at risk for death during childbirth because of the blood issue. You know, do things the WT way- motivate by fear!

besty

good luck lifelong h

I can only say what worked for me:

http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/132326/1/Had-The-Big-Chat-with-my-wife

you don't mention whether you and her have good friendships outside the WTS - it's a big help if these are already in place, particularly if its led by the wives - you will clearly get on with the other bloke even if it kills you :-))))

this was a big help for us - the friends we made also had young kids the same age as ours which helped my wife look into the future of misery her children would have that these other 'normal' children wouldn't - if you have been married 38 years I'm surmising you don't have young children....

the other issue with my wife was I picked a time to discuss a doctrinal issue (which she knew I had - Jesus not Mediator for other sheep class) when she was at an emotional low - a particularly trying day for all of us attempting to keep a 2 year old quiet at a Circuit Assembly.

The net result was that she was ready for a look at jwfacts.com on the Mediator issue and then with curiosity piqued she read most of the site that weekend and chucked the WTS literature in the bin almost right away.

I concede I was very lucky with the way it worked out - your mileage WILL vary.

What's the best way to reason with and help your wife to give up her JW religion?

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