I have struggled with this concept for quite some time. I feel like the Apostle Paul in that he wishes to do right by God in controling this issue, but find it to be a law exercising complete control over him. I find myself wondering what is the use in doing so? Sin is deeply ingrained in my very being. From the moment I was conceived and brought into this world, every fiber of me is encoded with sin and imperfection with death being its only supposed reward. Not one I am ready to accept with full honor.
Because this is something that has been with me since conception, I find it illogical to have Jesus held up to me as a model to follow. I am no where near close to living up to his example. I am always told that God understands this and ask you to give him your best, but in JW World, that best means living close to an unrealistic perfection as possible. It is a struggle. One that has caused me much mental and physical discomfort over the years. One that I am starting to say to heck with and just resign myself to whatever fate that is coming to me.
Have any of you felt this way? Is it wrong for me to feel this way? Your thoughts are greatly appreciated.