well at least i know it from my own friends and geographic region..........
but i will wait to hear your response....i am fourth gen btw...and unfortunately birthed.... and did a good job at raising a fifth dammit....oompa
easier to leave...born ins or joined later???...i know the answer........
by oompa 33 Replies latest jw friends
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OnTheWayOut
"Joined later" typically have less to lose. Less family in the JW's, many family and friends out already.
They already know that "worldy" holidays and people are not automatically Satanic. They can return to something they knew.
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bluecanary
I think the most pertinent factor is your family situation. I was born-in, but my family came out all together, with no one left in. That's about as easy as it gets. It may be easier to divest yourself of cult thinking if you're not born-in. Steve Hassan often speaks about a pre-cult personality. Well, I don't have one of those. At best I had a simutaneous non-cult personality. I'm discovering who I am now and while it would have been better to do this in adolescense, I suppose I'm lucky to be doing it in my twenties rather than much later.
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White Dove
I was born in and it was horribly traumatic for me to leave. It was also a breath of the freshest air imaginable. My kids came out with me. JW family is 3,000 miles away and has no idea that we left.
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BabaYaga
I'm sorry. There is no comparison. Granted, it is pretty damned horrible for those who joined and then raised families IN, at the risk of losing their children. Seriously, I cannot imagine that pain! Insanity!
BUT!!! On the other hand, there is still no comparison for those being raised in. Hearing these things from birth really does something to a person on almost every level: One's mind, one's perception of EVERYTHING and EVERYONE, the incessant fear... the feelings of unworthiness yet simultaneous self-righteousness... the refusal to apologize, the need for a last word...
the FEAR of your own MIND!
the FEAR of the UNKNOWN!
the FEAR of every stranger on the street!
the FEAR of persecution!
the FEAR of Armegeddon!
the FEAR of the DEMONS, demons EVERYWHERE!!!
My Honey says that it is absolutely amazing that any of us born-in could manage to free ourselves. He respects us very highly.
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jaguarbass
It was easy to leave. I was born in and they spent 5 years preaching about the world ending in 75.
When 76 came around they drug their own grave.
Still it was hard to leave because of family and friends.
But not because of it being the troof.
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purplesofa
I don't think one should minimize anyone's ones struggle to leave, whether they are born-in or choose to later in life.
I was born-in Catholic, and left for what I thought was something better, a true religion.
My heart was sincere.
Finding out, after 20 years of believing was not easy.
I had already drastically changed my life once to become a Witness,
No I have to drastically change to undo all the years of messages and beliefs programmed in.
whats harder to do is leaving religion all together at 50 years of investment.
purps
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palmtree67
I was born in. But I feel I was forced out. I also feel disillusioned. I am at that point where I feel I have had the rug pulled out from under my feet and I am still struggling to get up. Everything I was taught was truth, everything I thought was right, everything I thought God wanted from me.....It was all wrong.
And now I'm not sure what to replace it with.
Amazingly, although my life is in chaos right now, I feel happier, safer, and more at peace than I ever have before.....
Explain THAT one, OOomps!!!
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Hopscotch
I agree with those that say that it is easier to leave if you came in as an adult. As has been stated, usually born ins have so much more to lose if they leave. They have been brainwashed since childhood that being anything other than a JW will mean you are condemned to a horrible death at god's hand and a life of unhappiness and hopelessness lived under the rule of satan. All this mind control makes it so much harder to trust your own feelings and instincts about life, people in general and about the WTS. Plus born ins have been bombarded since childhood with talk of how wicked and evil and satanic the rest of the world is, so even if they do see the WTS teaching as lies, they feel trapped with no where else to go. Being a JW is all you know. It is your security, your whole life. And born ins often have a huge social network of JW friends and family.
That's not to say that some of us born ins or raised in from early childhood don't leave, but it is a really difficult process of deprogramming the fear and guilt and mind control that we have to work through. Not to add the horrendous cost of losing all our family and lifelong friends.
On the other hand those not raised as JWs usually a much more normal view of the world and the people in it, and they would have that to fall back on if they start to see through the JW lies. They would also still have their non JW families and the possibility of reestablishing their old friendships, which is much more than those who have been in all their lives have.But in spite of all the difficulties and losses incurred in the leaving process I'm sure most of us (born in or recruited) would say it was so worth it.
Hopscotch
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Black Sheep
Converted victims of the cult have to admit that they made a serious error of judgement.
Born in victims are victims of their parent's foolishness.