My JW parents met my wife, but would not see me...
by Confession 58 Replies latest jw experiences
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Confession
As you can see, I've been contributing to this board for quite a few years. A scan of my postings will reveal that I'm no stranger to the perspectives offered here. That said, I'm genuinely surprised at the general message I'm getting from those of you who've responded. I expected expressions of frustration common to my situation, but I never imagined so many would consider our actions "classy" or "saintlike."
After reading the posts here, my wife asked me to examinewhy I wanted to do what we did. She asked if it was to create a situation that would make my parents feel bad. While I can admit that, when I told her how "no one really understands" and how I'd be able to go see all sorts of people--just not my parents, it produced a momentary, delicious feeling...the truth is that this did not once occur to me when I originally thought about doing it.
While I have certainly made peace with the idea that I have no relationship with my JW family, in the last year I have begun to grasp that they may not be around very much longer. (She is 75 and he is soon 77.) That coupled with the fact that I am recently married--and that, for the first time in years, I would be within yards of my parents' Michigan home (and I live in Arizona)--made me realize this was an opportunity that may not arise again. Further, in less than two months, Rachel and I will be traveling to Kenya. I will get to meet her father (and half brothers and sisters) whom she herself has not been able to see for 7.5 years. I guess it just hit me that I'd like her to have the experience of meeting my parents before they die--especially since we'd be right there anyway.
I'd say this situation doesn't provoke quite the wrath for us as it does for some of you. Yes, I know it's pathetic, but I guess I've already come to grips with it: My parents were persuaded to join an apocalyptic, authoritarian high pressure group when they were just teenagers. They have chosen not to utilize whatever critical thinking faculties they possess to objectively examine their devotion to a religious publishing company. If they do ever consider the subject, they know that if they discover it isn't really The Truth, they shall have to face the enormity of their guilt in bringing some thirty family members and countless others into a manipulative religious cult. This awareness is all the reason they need not to go there.
To me, this situation is not terribly different than if my parents were suffering from dementia (or some other mental disease.) Just smile, nod, go through the motions...whatever makes them comfortable.
That said, I can't thank you enough for your kind expressions and well wishes.
Love,
Jon & Rachel
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nelly136
btt so i can read last post not showing yet
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Confession
Ok...can anyone explain why I've left two posts--and at least two others have left one--and it's not showing up here???
--edited to say, "Ahhhh! There they are!"
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Georgiegirl
For me personally, what was moving about your story was your wife's actions - your motives and actions are your own and no one but you can fully understand them b/c you are the only one who has walked your particular path. However, she walked into the house of complete strangers with hurtful beliefs that are skewed and causing damage to the one she loves - and she was willing to that with love and kindness and openness. Keep her happy - you've got a good one! :)
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White Dove
Ditto Georgiegirl:) That is such a sweet picture
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Mickey mouse
I'd say this situation doesn't provoke quite the wrath for us as it does for some of you. Yes, I know it's pathetic, but I guess I've already come to grips with it: My parents were persuaded to join an apocalyptic, authoritarian high pressure group when they were just teenagers. They have chosen not to utilize whatever critical thinking faculties they possess to objectively examine their devotion to a religious publishing company. If they do ever consider the subject, they know that if they discover it isn't really The Truth, they shall have to face the enormity of their guilt in bringing some thirty family members and countless others into a manipulative religious cult. This awareness is all the reason they need not to go there.
To me, this situation is not terribly different than if my parents were suffering from dementia (or some other mental disease.) Just smile, nod, go through the motions...whatever makes them comfortable.
That's pretty much the way I feel about my parents too.
It's nice to see your picture.
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Diva
A truly moving account. Your actions and those of your beautiful wife showed real christ-like qualities - something sadly lacking amongst many JW's.
After reading this I was intrigued to know how your journey of discovery came to be, so I looked up your life story - Wonderfully written and absolutely captivating.
Thank you.
Diva x
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Gayle
Wow . . . . . you have certainly proved yourself to be the better person. You will always be glad you showed them love and how you have gone on with a very positive life. It is pitiful of them in their sadness at this point in their life certainly but they have made their choice.
Unfortunately, they follow a group of men (GB) who most have never had children and yet they (GB) have the audacity to make extreme rules for children and to enforce their ruling of their followers to shun their own (grown) children when those have grown and have been able to develop their own 'free mind' and personal conscience.
By the way, you are a beautiful couple and so many best wishes!
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treadnh2o
I couldn't help not being impressed with both you and your wife.
Bet you are so glad you didn't marry a JW!
