Confessed my Doubts to my Wife

by cantleave 58 Replies latest jw experiences

  • cantleave
    cantleave

    Well - I today I had the opportunity to tell my wife I no longer believe in the things that I have spent my life immersed in and that I didn't want my life run by 9 geriatrics in Brooklyn.

    Her reaction was understandable her first questions was "what have you been reading"?

    I didn't mention this site but told her I was shocked by something I heard regarding the WTS's NGO status with the UN, dissapointed by the new light on the Generation and disturbed by the flip flopping on Blood Fractions. I explained how these things were at best hypocritical and at worst have meant some people have lost their lives unnecessarily because of the societies previous position. She listened but made very little comment.

    I then brought up the issue of DA and DF. I asked her "If one of our kids was disfellowshipped would you shun them?" Without any hesitation she said "No!". Excellent so followed up with "Even if that meant that you too were at risk of being shunned". Again without hesitation "My kids would always have my unconditional love, I don't believe shunning is showing love!"

    Yippee - i have found some common ground. I asked another question; "do you believe that mankind is only 6000 years old?", I knew her answer would be "no". I followed that with "so you don't believe everything that comes from the WTS". Contemplative silence! I told her all I wanted to do was tell her that I am doubting the authority of the Governing Body and left her with a thought " We have two annointed in our congo, members of the FDS class, do you really believe they are involved in formulating the policies of the WTS, that the 9 members of GB really act as their mouthpiece?" She didn't need to answer that one. She suggested that we use Family Worship Evening to do more personal study, I agreed with her - on the condition we use references that are not published by the WTBS.

    She obviously has her own doubts, but still feels things will be clarified in time. I at least we are having some critical discussion - its a start.

  • musky
    musky

    Cantleave, I am glad you decided to tell your wife how you felt. Your wife obviously is smart and speaks what she really believes, even though it is not in line with the watchtower teachings. Hopefully,as the two of you do more personal study, You can find more common ground. I wish you well.

  • bluecanary
    bluecanary

    Sounds like a great start. If I were in your shoes, I would bring up the issue of Jesus choosing them in 1919 and what they taught at that time. But you know your wife. Discuss whatever you believe is most likely to make her think. Good luck!

  • bohm
    bohm

    cantleave: i really hope the best for you and your wife. it sounds like a really good start?. I overwhelmed my girlfriend with evidence to begin with.. that was a great mistake. i hope you can help your wife to get peace of mind.

    If you want to post more about this, i would love to hear more about how it goes!

  • DaCheech
    DaCheech

    cool

  • jamiebowers
    jamiebowers

    Good for you and her!

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    Most of us that realize the problems with WTS reach a point where we have to say something.
    Awesome job. You will not be sorry you did this, regardless of the fallout. Heck, you did a pretty good job. Maybe there won't be any fallout.

  • whoknows
    whoknows

    Perhaps a good subject for personal study night would be who the mediator for all of mankind is, according to the bible (not their literature). There are so many scriptures that state that there is only one mediator between god and man, that no one comes to the father except through ME (not a group of men), that there is one faith, one hope. Discuss whether Jesus ever directed his followers to look for a group of men to interpret the bible and direct them, whereas he said that where two or more are gathered in my name, there I am among you. And by the way, where did he say he is coming invisibly? He said the exact opposite, that if someone tells you I'm in the woods, or where ever (invisible), don't follow them. The parable of the FDS is just that, a parable. Hmmm, wonder why they chose that parable to apply prophetically to themselves? Might it be that it conveniently confers power to them over "all of the household"?

    I dunno, just a few things that got me thinking and doubting. You can prove these point using only the bible, whereas she can't defend them using the bible.

  • oompa
    oompa

    read your post...but none others yet.......i flukkin hate you!!!.........damm you are lucky to even have such a conversation.........oompa

  • Goshawk
    Goshawk

    CL I personally hope that it works out for you and your mate in the best possible out-come.

    Having said that, there are a few red flags that went up when I read your post.

    The foremost is the reflex reaction, as it were, and the trained conclusion that you were under the influence of outside forces.

    Be very careful about how hard you push the situation as the conditioned response is to retreat deeper into the organization.

    She is obvously intellegent and can pocess the information honestly, but under stress may still act in reflex per the indoctrination.

    Simply slowly and carefully should be the path forward.

    Goshawk

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