by Elsewhere 28 Replies latest jw friends
So sorry to see your sad news, Else. I think Mouthy's advice was the very best you're gonna get.....and you will not only feel better about dealing with it like she said, but you can (and will) look back and know in your heart it was the nicest way you could have handled things. Many hugs to you.....
Annie
Practice good Karma.
I disagree with some of the advice given here. Based on my own personal experience I say go ahead and be honest with your father, even if it takes seeing a counselor or someone similar to help you formulate what you are going to say. It's true that there are some things you can't take back when someone dies. But it is also true that when someone dies you may never have the chance to tell them how much what they've done has hurt you, either.
Sorry to hear your news and I'm sorry that the WTS has robbed you of a meaningful relationship with your father before now.
Dang Else, I'm really sorry. That is one bad news disease.
I was on my way out when my mother was dying from cancer. Like you, I was seriously pissed off at both my mother and my father.
I don't have any regrets about what I did. The only thing I can tell you is if you have anything to say to him, say it before it's too late. If you don't mind me asking, how was their attitude when they told you? I mean, were they stiff and cold or were they behaving like real parents?
Chris
Sorry to hear your news Elsewhere.
With a bit of luck they might behave a little less cultish for his remaining time here.
I'm sorry, Elsewhere. (( )) This must be very hard for you.
I'm also sorry this is compounded by the rules of a wacko cult.
Maybe your dad contacting you is his concilatory gesture to you. If you want to have any sort of resolution or contact, then my suggestion is to affirm the gesture instead of trying to make him apologize or make up for things....although if I was in your shoes, my urge to do so would be strong.
(( ))
I hope that I would be able to forgive any JW that shunned me when they make a gesture toward apologizing.
I know that it is hard for him to even start to use words like "I'm sorry." It's difficult enough for most people, and WTS-controlled people are told that it is the right thing to do. I would hope that I could return some sort of gesture to see if he wanted to let by-gones be by-gones.
If I weren't really able to do that, I suppose I could just confront him in a kinder gentler way than he has treated me.
I might try directly asking him, "Would you like me to be in your life?" "Are you prepared to put aside our differences."
I would hope to do my best not to try to force an apology out of him because it might push him back into his cult personality if I made such a demand.
I'm sorry for this news, Elsewhere.
You got lots of good advice here. Strong points for divergent schools of thought.
Do your best to live with no regrets, and when in doubt, do that which you would regret the least.
Love to you and your family,
Baba.
I am so sorry Else.....
I hope both of yall can see to rekindle yall's relationship.
