Does your JW family exhaust you?

by LucyA 24 Replies latest forum announcements

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  energy

  I'm actually struggling with this one myself. I was baptized at 15,. but by the time I was 19, I was inactive. It is now ten years later, I've moved to the other side of the country and I do not identify as a Christian at all. I practise Nichiren Buddhism these days. I hoped that my family would want to understand how I got from point A to point B, but they've expressed a desire not to even try to understand who it is that I am now.

  It is rather exhausting and discouraging to talk to them, the conversation becomes one where they only want to know that I exist and haven't died yet. They don't seem to actually care about what it is that I do with my life since the world is coming to an end anyway.

  My goal is to have a channel of communication with them that is at least respectful, and that I can trust has a chance of remaining open. I think that they are realizing that my current course is not just a phase, although I have told them this from the start. It seems as though they are ready to shut down the lines of communication. I'd rather not have that happen.
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  bluecanary

  Welcome to the board, energy. I'm unfamiliar with Nichiren Buddhism. I've mostly read about Therevada and somewhat about Zen, though I prefer the former. I hope that you're able to work things out with your parents.
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  creativhoney

  its times like this I am so glad I am DFd. - I dont get this hassle. - my good friend was heartbroken when she was DFd because her dad was pooly and the prospect of missing his funeral was too much for her so she got reinstated, and stopped attending immediately (side point if anyone had a problem with me being at my families funeral, THEY would have to leave)

  back to the point. her family do nothing but hassle her. peck peck peck. - in turn she has lots of problems trying to keep them happy and so lives a double life. - I really feel for how unhappy its making her, but she gets into constant arguments and I say just dont engage them - people have a right to believe what they want, and only each person can change their own belief system, not someone else it has to come from within, so trying to change them and make them stop believing is like them trying to get her to come back. - futile. - but still the arguments.

  the funny one was when she said the other day she was at her mums and she had a cushion on her knee and her mum said, isnt it amazing how Jehovah made those lovely fibres..

  (wonder if it was nylon hehe)
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  babygirl30

  My parents are manipulative ANYHOW...so using ANY and ALL means they can to try to convince me to 'come back' is the only thing. My dad is NOT as bad as my mom is though. With him, there is a distinct feeling of 'disinterest' I get from him when it comes to the org. But he goes along with it, so I really can't speak UP on his behalf.

  Back to the point- YES, I have always ended up exhausted after talking to my parents. After moving out, I learned that visit to see them are NOT required and NOT healthy for me...even though they are my family. If I love myself at all - I would not subject myself to constant control tactic, demeaning speech, constant criticism, or manipulation!
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  insearchoftruth

  It is strange, my wife is studying with the JWs and she exhausts me, but she does not see how pissed off and exhausted she is after she gets off the phone with her family of JWs.......