I think OM should tread carefully for just a bit longer. His wife could always have her cult personality kick in if she feels threatened. It's good to let her see things for herself.
Wife update! Gradualism....Gradualism....Gradulism.. Satan's Tool Box
by Open mind 26 Replies latest members private
-
-
Open mind
OTWO:
First off, OTWO, let me say I always appreciate your point of view even if I don't agree with all of it. Now then,
"I would not be willing to take a chance that the kids wind up as JWs because I didn't take a stand."
It's a crap shoot either way, but from where I stand, I think the best chance for my kids and my wife is to go slow and gradual. So far, my oldest is 98% free of JWism mentally and is just going through the motions for the near future. My wife is making excellent progress. Sure there are no guarantees, but from reading MANY accounts of what works and what doesn't......slow and steady wins the race. If I "take a stand" that would feel fantastic.....for me. I would love to read the riot act to many at the KH. It would be cathartic. And self-centered for the most part.
Anyway, I don't mind your weighing in at all. My skin is a lot thicker than when I first started posting and it's good for lurkers to see as many points of view as possible for their own situations.
Namaste,
om
-
OnTheWayOut
Well, I am certain that you know the real truth, your kids will pull out somehow as long as you work with them.
But you have been saying in some threads how one of them might become baptized for the sake of others, knowing good and well how they don't really feel it's the life they want. I could not let that happen if it were my case. I would totally blow my cover to keep them out if necessary.I don't say you should take a GRAND stand against the religion to show your wife and kids something. I only suggest you get out of that elder post to be able to say to them that you had differences and quit or were removed. Let them see how the organization is about that. But hey, you may win the war. That is the important thing.
I am confident that you won't want to keep doing this another 5 years, so something will give sooner or later.
Peace and strength to you and yours.
-
metatron
Keep in mind the wise counsel of Jesus:
"I have many things to tell you but you are not able to bear them at present"
This principle applies to all walks of life.
metatron
-
Open mind
OTWO said:
"I would totally blow my cover to keep them out if necessary. "
This statement assumes power that doesn't exist.
Neither you, nor I have THE POWER to "keep them out". You and I are just players on the stage. Making a big apostate scene is no assurance that my wife or kids will stay out or wake up.
On the other hand, my maintaining the facade of spiritually "mature", wise elder adds the most possible weight to carefully planted seeds of free thinking. I very slowly, carefully, reveal my true viewpoints over time as I see that headway is being made.
My kids know that hard-core JWs are wackos. They most likely figured that out on their own. They're learning to make the best of the cards they're dealt. My oldest, who was thinking about baptism for social reasons, hasn't mentioned it for a long time. I don't think that's going to happen. The strongest peers for my oldest are non-JWs.
I completely disagree with your strateegery.
For me.
Your mileage may vary.
As always, I appreciate a multitude of counselors. Hope I don't piss you off too much by not taking your advice much of the time.
Most importantly, I hope that in my situation, for the sake of my family, I'm making the right judgement call.
Hope to have an O'Douls with you someday in Chicago.
om
-
OnTheWayOut
As long as your oldest is not getting baptized (for now) then great.
But I have to call BS when I see it:
Neither you, nor I have THE POWER to "keep them out". You and I are just players on the stage.
Bullsh%t!!!! You have incredible influence, much more than just a player on the stage. You encourage free thinking and education or you encourage slavish JWism and living at home pioneering and getting a job instead of a career. I know you are encouraging the right stuff, but don't minimize the influence that your remaining a JW has. The oldest one would more clearly see why baptism just for social reasons is totally wrong if Dad was willing to show him/her that he was regretting it and making moves toward the door. Instead, he/she sees Dad willing to continue not only as a JW member, but a middle manager for the social perks that go with that. BAD EXAMPLE in my opinion.
I am not an O'Douls fan. I can have a Ginger Ale or a good coffee while you have your favorite beverage. Don't worry about accepting or rejecting my advice. I state it, but I don't have to live it for you.
-
Open mind
Hey OTWO,
Your point is duly noted.
And a round of Ginger Ales it will be.
In the words of Flipper.....
Peace Out
om