For those of you who have read this in someone elses thread, I apologize. It was suggested I start my own thread so here is my story again for anyone who may have missed it.
Hello! I am currently from Minnesota and live in St. Paul (Roseville), but the congregation that I went to was in the Apple Valley area. I've been "out" now for about 10 years. I moved to this area about 12 years ago with my ex-husband. He was a ministerial servant at the time. The funny thing is, my life was so messed up and unhappy I just couldn't believe it. Here's my story:
My father was in the Air Force and I moved a lot. I was born in Bangor, Maine and I lived in Puerto Rico for three and a half years and then moved to Mass, Guam, New Jersey and then finally Missouri. While I was in New Jersey, I met this girl one day when I was sitting in my car waiting for my mother who was in KMart. She handed me a pamphlet and invited me to go to the hall with her. I told her that I didn't think I could do that because I didn't think my mother would allow me. So I politely took the handbill and she went on her way. In the mean time, my grandmother had come to live with us and unbeknownst to me...she was studying. She kept asking me to come with her to the hall and I kept refusing. Finally she said she had someone she wanted me to talk to. It turns out it was the same young lady that had given me the handbill. Hence began my Bible study. I was only 15 years old at the time. During those days...1974, once you started studying, when the person who was studying with you said you were ready to get baptised, you got baptised. I really didn't know what I was doing and didn't totally understand what was all involved. Hey, you study for six months and your ass got baptised! After that, my dad...who was doing a year long duty in Thailand, came home and told my mother "well, at least she'll stay out of trouble". I started in on my parents right away. Eventually I wore them down to a study. We moved to Missouri where I met this guy at school who happend to be my neighbor and a witness. This neighbor eventually became my husband. To make a long story short. My dad retired from the military so that he could get baptised and my mother got baptised later too. I was kind of a phenom in "the truth". 16 year old studies with both parents and brought them in..got my dad to retire after 24 years in the military...blah, blah, blah. I got married at 19 years old (waaayyy to young). But then we know how the witnesses think... Poor kids, can't have any sex until after you're married so you end up going after the first guy that looks good and pays attention to you...and then you marry him just so you can have sex! Sounds stupid...is stupid. My ex-husband was emotionally and financially abusive...plain and simple. Talks with the elders didn't help. I tried hard to do the right thing. I regular pioneered for a year and tried to be a good wife. He didn't want me to work but I did anyways. And then he wanted me to give him every cent I made. He wanted control of everything, and I ended up with nothing. He didn't want to pay the bills. I had socks with holes in them, our water and heat was always getting turned off, my mother used to give me her underwear and clothes...and my daughter slept on the floor for a while until my mother bought her a daybed...and he was a computer programmer! made pretty good money. He got all these credit cards and proceeded to run every last one up. I got pregnant (on purpose) with our daughter when I was 20...and she is the love of my life (she's 22 now). All the while, I was terribly depressed and started getting physically ill. No one knew what was wrong with me. I ended up in the hospital three times, a month at a time each, for depression. My ex said it was because I had a guilty concience...because I wanted to get out into the world. He used to always say that my thinking wasn't right. I finally got sick and tired of not having anything. He mistreated our daughter and would discipline her in ways that I didn't agree with. If she would forget to change the kitty litter, he one time put it in her bed. Another time he made her wear it around her kneck (He put used kitty litter in a planter and fashioned it around her kneck and made her walk around like that!). All the while I'm growing more and more ambitious. I started working for an insurance company as their receptionist. I used to always get comments about what a nice voice I had, so I started to wonder if I could use my voice to make a living. I had a demo tape made and saw an ad in a community paper for volunteer radio announcers..so I sent it in. I told myself that I was going to "go for it". I was surprised when I got a call and was told to come on in. My ex-husband was furious. He told me that I would be in too close of contact with the "world" etc. etc. I brought him into the station with me and had him help me pull the music etc. He finally was "okay" with it, but he still was cold towards me and would make disparaging comments all the time. One night I actually thought he was going to hit me! When he got "passed over" for elder he told me it was because my daughter and I were not doing enough in the field. Can you believe that! He was actually blaming us! One night, I had had enough. I came home from the station...saw his car was not there and after 14 years of marriage, I grabbed my daughter and we left. We stayed in a battered womens shelter, where they helped me start over. After I got my own apartment, he came over on our anniversary and asked for a divorce. He divorced me and filed for banckruptcy at the same time! What I didn't know was that he had gone to Washington and met someone that he was interested in there. (My lovely cousin introduced them!) He later said he didn't realize that it was our anniversary and didn't mean to do that on that day...yeah, right. I had already met someone in the radio business, who was kind hearted and had basically witnessed everything that I had been going through. We were good friends and had not been together...yet. After I had gotten my own place was when my best friend and I got together. I'm sure my ex-husband was just waiting in the wings so that he could be free. That's why I did it...to get away from him! My radio career did take off. To the point of having a national radio show on a popular children's station. After all the years of emotional abuse, I was finally diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. (My daughter was diagnosed last year). My ex, certain brothers and sisters use to harrass me and tell me the my illness was all in my head and that I wasn't doing enough and that's why I was sick. I haven't been in the hospital for depression since I left! Am I'm finally happy!