Shamus is right 100%. Not meeting with them is an automatic DF. Bastards.
can they df me again?
by Cordelia 23 Replies latest jw friends
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shamus100
Yeah,
You're pretty much going to have to start going to meetings again for a while. Sorry about your luck, but if you don't show how much of an unruly pagan you have been (snicker) then you are going to be cast out gnashing your teeth... er, um, free.
Ever consider just telling them where to go? It's probably not worth it.
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Scully
Cordelia,
You're one of the sweetest people I've ever had the pleasure to encounter on JWD/JWN. It breaks my heart to know how your family is able to terrorize you the way they do with JW stuff.
It will take a huge amount of courage and personal strength for you to tell them to piss up a rope and just let you live your life as you see fit. The cost - losing your family - will be enormous, absolutely. What you will gain out of letting them go is complete control over your life. They won't be able to hold you back from your dreams and goals. They won't hold that sword of Damocles over your head, prepared to terminate your relationship for the slightest misdeed.
It's that terror over being DFd over petty, stupid, ridiculous things that I am SO GLAD is no longer part of my life. Remember that in JW-land, people In Good Standing In The Truth™ have been found out to be child molesters, wife beaters, drunkards, liars, fraudsters, and downright low-life criminals, and because they put on their I'm Sorry face, and claim to be Repentant™ none of them get DFd. Do you know why they like to DF people like you? Because they know how much pain it causes you, and they know they can get you to do whatever they want you to do to get rid of that pain (being shunned by your family). Seriously, that's exactly why they do it - it's got nothing to do with Keeping The Congregation Clean™, because the congregations are FULL of sinners and cheaters and liars and bull$h!tters, among other things who aren't disfellowshipped. It's not that they give a $h!t about you being able to Live Forever In Paradise on Earth™ - not at all! They aren't in the LOVE business, they are in the CONTROL business, dear Cordelia, and they know your weakness for your family and how to beat you down and make you do *anything* to be relieved of your emotional pain.
They don't deserve to have that much control over you. You need to take it back and OWN it. You need to disfellowship THEM, all of them, for being arrogant, judgemental, self-righteous pricks and @$$holes, and for not letting you live your life or make adult choices of your own.
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quietlyleaving
poor you cordelia - do you live in an inner city area wherein witnesses are constantly around? if so then they are never going to leave you alone. What you need to do is reach some sort of rational understanding with the elders in your area and with your family that (a) they need to let you get on with your life whatever path that may take and (b) they are not allowed to disfellowship you or cause your family to shun you in any way. You have to spell out the limits of their policies based on your own concept of legal and humanitarian issues. If they don't want to adhere to this tell them you have no alternative but to sue them as to attempting to violate your human rights in your community.
Its important to get your family on your side first. They don't have to agree with your lifestyle at all but just be willing to continue with family connections. It looks like your brother is a big problem but it may be that if you can avoid being disfellowshipped he will be willing to be less judgmental.
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nelly136
once youre a jw they can keep dfing you as often as they like, each time you get reinstated just gives them another opportunity to do it all over again.
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TheOldHippie
"can i be threatened with dfing when im not even a witness?"
Does that mean you are not baptised?
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free2think
Old hippie she is baptized but doesnt go, and has for a while.
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TheOldHippie
OK, thanks.
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free2think
that was hasnt lol.
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nelly136
cordy has been dfd before and reinstated.
was hoping you'd cracked it this time.