Dealing with a 'molested child' in a Judicial matter.

by dissed 38 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

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  troubled mind

  Dissed your account was hard for me to read .

  However it is good to know someone that had been an Elder , and participated in this type of JC actually does have a heart and feels the way you do .

  Your story hits close to home . I know how it feels to be that girl . At fifteen I had no idea myself why I did something so out of character . Inside I was scared ,confused and broken.... yet all the Elders on the JC could see was an obstinate teenager refusing to break down and cry .They had no clue of the abuse I had suffered with in silence . A trained counselor may have understood the acting out scenario and would have answered the cry for help . But NO , in Jehovah's mighty house of pure worship our great shepards were really just window washer, factory working , carpenter ,carpet layers posing as wannabe Godly Overseers of their fellow man .

  I was told they didn't think I was remorseful ,and if i had been baptised they would have definitly disfellowshipped me . What I went through in that JC had an internal impact on me. As an adult I look back and think it is atrocious that grown men would make a child feel dirty ,unlovable and damaged . I was told that in the future any witness boy I dated would have to be told( by myself) that I was no longer a virgin.That meant a good JW boy would possibly reject me after knowing that . They also never knew that I went home and attempted suicide . Thank goodness I wasn't successful .

  I really believe what doesn't kill you makes you stronger .

  I don't blame them ,but I do think it is extremely dangerous for the Watchtower society to have this type of judical arraingement . These are uneducated men dealing with people that sometimes have very real mental ,and emotional problems. They are in no possible way capable in handling .
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  JWdaughter

  The WTS didn't do the right thing by this girl with their policy, but the legal system at that time didn't protect her either. If he went to jail for this-convicted, I can't imagine how he would be permitted within spitting distance of that girl. That is messed up as much as anything.

  If it comforts you, she wanted to be DF'd-consequences be darned, because she couldn't be there. Had you allowed her to stay in the cong., she would have probably just kept acting out in her pain at the betrayal of those that should have loved her the most.

  The right thing to do, asking him to go to another congregation who was fully aware of his past, while allowing her to stay in her own-is not possible in the WTS because of their policy. Kinda messed up.

  I am in favor of the apology to her and public exposure in the paper. Not of her, but of the situation altogether.

  The bad thing-she is probably one of the JW apologists who troll the internet trying to be a good witness for the org. that hurt them.
• 

  etna

  jam, I feel for you and your story, it made me think about my son, he was only 5 years old and had his tonsils out and the bleeding just wouldn't stop. I had been ds and left my wife (a good woman, but thats another story). And while we were in hospital all these liason elders came out of the woodwork. My ex was so pressured into not giving blood and I agreed until the poor little thing had lost so much blood and they couldn't operate to stop the blood-lose. Then as I was still being shunned I spoke to the doctor and he assured me if my son didn't have blood he wouldn't survive the night. So the only thing I could do was give it to him. I wish I would have done that sooner and my ex rhanked me so much that I had the balls to do that with all the jws there in he ear. I feel so sorry about the way we have been told to do things that goes against our better judgement, I'm sure Jehovah wouldn't of wanted to let that baby die and I'm sure he would have been more understanding in dissed case too.

  Etna
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  Hope4Others

  Who has the right to decide someone is unrepentant when they have been molested, raped etc. The whole judicial system

  is lacking, no one is qualified to deal with such deep emotional issues. I really don't think anyone can be held accountable for what they have done

  because what life has dealt them. Judicial committees play god with peoples lives, none are doctors or psychologists to deal with issues as these.
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  cantleave

  It just goes to show we are not in anyway qualified to sit in judgement. It's not your fault it is the flawed and cruel system Elders have to apply in order to prove they are spiritual men.
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  chickpea

  ahhh the spirit of the law vs the letter of the law....

  dont ya just hate the dichotomy
  when it comes to people's lives?
• 

  Pistoff

  From Jwoods:

  The Lord works in mysterious ways. At least some good probably came of it.

  Shame on you for suggesting that God would allow a child to be raped, and have a purpose in it. This is an immoral, stupid thing to say.

  I want no part of such a god.
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  darth frosty

  Damn! I been away for awhile a lot of new people and new insight have come to the board.

  As for the initial post, Thats fugged up! What really makes it sad is that given the 2 choices of who to keep in the Borg (the faithfull sister or the new brother who is making progress) The Borg will choose the 'brother' because they are in such desperate need of men. Sad!
• 

  looloo

  my heart goes out to you and the girl, i think you should still apologise to her , believe me it wont open up old wounds as those wounds unfortunatly never close completly , it keeps me going the thought that elders or my daughters rapists wife will one day apologise to me or my daughter , i dont think you realise how much "closure" it could give her , good luck