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What Are Some Benefits In Being A Jehovah's Witness?
by minimus 34 Replies latest jw friends
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As a sister, you are allowed to translate for the deaf if....you wear a proper head covering like a napkin or Awake (Wt are no longer permitted, its considered disrespectful to the GB)
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As a married brother, you are lord and master, extreme poohbah, and top dog of your household.
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As a JW pedophile, you can expect total and complete protection from the Elders.
"Your secret is our secret!" hint hint
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As long as you turn in your JW time report on a regular basis you are guaranteed a P-Ticket on the WT train through Armegeddon and into the New Order.
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All JW's have a special shield that protects them from Wicked Spirit attacks.
To activate the shield: They must yell 'JEHOVAH' at the top of their lungs and then promise not to miss meetings anymore.
"If you help me, I promise to NEVER miss again!"
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JW's that promise to serve at Bethel their whole lives will be taken care of forever or 15 years. Whichever comes first.
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JW children of JW Elders are given special treatment by the body of Elders when they commit serious wrongdoing.
They must carry with them at all times, and show their "Elders Child Exemption" commonly known as the "Get out of Jail" card to get this special exemption, BEFORE the JC is formed to get full benefits.
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JW's that die from refusing a blood transfusion are promised an early resurection into the New System to help with the body cleanup after Armegeddon.
They still will probably not be able to marry, depending on what the GB is teaching at the time of the resurection.
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JW children are much happier than 'worldy children' by having the special benefit of not being able to celebrate Christmas, Birthdays, and enjoy extracurricular activities like sports in school. They are extremely happified to receive such blessings.